goddessamazon’s BodyBlog

Can you believe I’m sitting home on Halloween counting down the hours till it’s time to start my cut diet? I have this feeling of urgency right now. My mind is racing and thinking "What else can I eat before I start this cut? Do I want some cookies? How about mo’ pizza? Ice Cream, cake or maybe even both?" Even though it’s Halloween I don’t want any candy. I wasn’t much of a candy person.  To make sure I keep that stuff out of my house I made sure to cut off all the lights in my front yard so that the kiddies don’t stop by my house begging……….opps…………I mean asking for candy in the honor of TRICK OR TREAT!

You want trick or treat little kiddies? How about tricking your mommas into bringing me pastries treats. How bout that for trick or treat?

I……….must………..resist…………
..the…………urge……to eat………more………..FOOD!!

So I’m up early in the morning again especially for a Saturday. The good thing is that I didn’t wake up extremely early and I didn’t wake up from a bad dream. I think my body realized that today is the last day for me to eat "dirty" and wants to get a head start on the crap eating. HA!

I have some work to do today and I think I’ll go to the gym later today to just hit the steam room and relax my muscles. I also need to go shopping for my new clean cut diet tomorrow. Geez! Speaking of tomorrow it’s gonna be November soon. NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!! What the hell happen to June? Oh well no need to cry over it now. Let me get to work.

Cya!

Ok I spelled "House" wrong on purpose so all you grammar nazi keep away.

Bodybulding.com is so freakin awesome. Can you believe in the past two weeks I’ve been contacted by 4………..that’s right four women who are 6′3" like myself? Now I’m use to being contacted by other tall women who are seeking fitness advice from another tall woman but to be contacted by 4 different women who are my height is mind blowing. I had no idea BB.com had so many amazons here. What a wonderful surprise and I feel very honored that they chose me as their "go to amazon girl" for fitness advice.

:)

Since I’m playing hookie from the gym this week I decided to do the same  with my MMA training. Today is Muay Thai and BJJ and I’m not going to either one of them, especially BJJ. I’m still fully loaded so I haven’t grasp the mentality of "relaxing" when I roll. I’m so wired right now that I’m bouncing off the walls. Doubt that I can roll relaxed at this state but next week I’ll have no choice so I’ll just chill out for today and just wait for the inevitable to take place next week.

BLAH!

Ok, I’m going out to get some pizza! YEAH

Naps does the body good………..pass it on.

So I made up for that bad dream I had early this morningwith a two hour nap. That hit the spot. I think I’m gonna play hookie from the gym today and catch up on house chores. Hmmm? Maybe I should take off this entire week since I am starting my cut next Sunday. I also need to create a new workout schedule and clean out all the crap in my refrigerator so I’m not tempted to eat crap for the next four months.  I’m also gonna enjoy my last week of being active on the IFBB forum. When I’m cutting I’m more active in my blog and less active in the forum. Boooooo!

*sigh* Are we there yet?

I’ve been up since 5:30 this morning because I had a bad dream and I can’t seem to go back to sleep. Guess what my dream was about and guess WHO was in it with me?

This is so crazy but I had a dream that Kai Greene and I  was in an elevator together and it was shaking and slowly disconnecting from the pulling cables. The elevator was the kind with the glass walls where you can see inside the hotel. We were high up on the 53rd floor when suddenly the cable snapped and the elevator begin to fall. Kai begin to panic and I kept yelling "Wake up! Wake up! It’s a dream! Wake up!" We looked out the glass walls and saw the ground coming towards us faster and faster. Just before it crashed I woke up. As soon as I opened my eyes I knew I was gonna be up for the rest of the morning. Grrrrrrrr! My heart was pounding a thousand beats per minutes.

Why in hell was I dreaming about being in a falling elevator with Kai Greene? Hell! I don’t even like Kai Greene. Pfft!

Maybe I’m having post contest prep anxiety! LOL!!!!

I looked in the mirror butt azz naked this morning and said to myself "Damn I got fat!" LOL!!!

Now of course OUR type of fat is not society’s type of fat. To the average person I look just fine. Some would say that I’m in great shape but in the bodybuilding competitive world I’m a fat azz!!!! Any time I can’t see my abs it means that  I gain major weight. But hey? No biggie! I start my cut diet next week and this weight will be off before I know it. I’m gonna take my "before" pic first thing Sunday morning. I can’t wait to start my cut diet. My eating has been out of control lately and only because I have no goals or motivation to stay ripped. That need to change. Truth be told I was doing just fine until the middle of last month. That’s when I started to lose it and I went crazy with the sweets, pizza and bread. So cutting for a competition gives me discipline to resist all of that. I’ve been doing this for three years now and not once did I fall off the wagon during my cut so I’m looking forward to eating clean again.

You know what I’m not looking forward to? I’m not looking forward to doing BJJ while I’m cutting. This Thursday is the last day attending BJJ class "fully loaded". HA! So next week I’ll probably get my ass handed to me while I’m rolling with the other guys carb depleted and RELAXED! Pfft! Relax? Just hearing the word "relax" makes me tense up. Ladies and gentlemen? Next week is gonna be veeeeeeeeeeeeery interesting. I’ll be sure to keep ya’ll posted.

My gi has been found! WHOO HOO!

Not only did they find it but they are going to wash it for me so it won’t be all mildewed and stinky on Monday when I come get it! See how awesome my MMA center is?

I heart them so much!

OK gotta go to the gym! Cya!

I just realized this morning that I left my gi at the center last night. I called immediately afterwards and talk to one of the guys working there and he said he didn’t see it but will keep a close eye for it. I was so exhausted last night that when I laid it down to talk to Keith I forgot all about it when I left. DAMMIT!

I’m hoping that someone wasn’t crazy enough to steal it. I mean come on! Who would want my sweaty gi with old blood stains on it? But here’s the big thing about all of this. If my gi is gone then I’m not gonna buy another one. Those things don’t run cheap and I need to save my money for all my supplements and food because I start my contest prep in one week. So in essence, no gi…………..no BJJ for me until offseason. That would really suck but such is life! Grrrrr!

Having someone tell you what they think about you is a humbling experience when everything they say is SPOT ON! Today I approached one of the instructors for some advice. I have no idea if he is the owner or the manager but one thing about him that I like is that he’s very honest. His name is Keith and he’s helped me get a better understand of BJJ when I first started. I can’t tell you why but for reason I trust his opinion over anyone else’s (including my own instructors).

Today I was thinking about my cutting phase coming up in 9 days. I’m going to continue my Muay Thai training but I wondered if I should continue BJJ because I use a lot of my strength in that class to prevent the more experienced BIG DAWGS from tapping me out. Not only that but after BJJ I’m absolutely exhausted from all that rolling. This contest prep will be much different than last year’s prep? Why? Because during this offseason I realized that I wasn’t going heavy then I thought. What I thought was heavy in the past preps was just a comfort zone heavy and not strength building heavy. All the gurus and judges tell me to workout like a powerlifter and this summer was the first time I actually did that. This summer I was lifting some amazing weights which blew my mind and the people around me watching. So this year I intend to continue lifting this way throughout this prep until my strength is depleted and that usually happens 4 weeks out. So I told Keith about this and asked him if I should stop sparring in BJJ when I start my contest prep or just skip the class all together? This is what he told me.

"I’ve watched you roll many times and you are very competitive. You roll to get even and that comes from your ego. The best thing about you is that you never get mad but you will get even and you will not allow anyone to get the best of you. I don’t see you learning this way. When you come to class you need to leave your ego at the door and just roll to learn instead of rolling to win. When you come to class you must know that you’re in class and not in a competition. If you made a mistake by allowing someone to get good position on you and they try to tap you out don’t fight the tap out……….Let them tap you out because you shouldn’t have let them get good position on you in the first place. This is how you learn. You must relax when you roll. You never relax when you roll. You are so consumed with winning that you don’t allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. So if you are coming to class with little to zero strength then GOOD! My advice is to continue taking the class and learn how to use more technique instead of strength. Let others tap you out if they get good position on you. When your in a competition then use everything you got (strength, endurance and technique) but in class you need to leave your ego at the door and roll more relaxed without the need to win.You’ll never be the best in this art if you continue to stay that way."

OUCH! That was tough to hear but I couldn’t debate anything he said because he was spot on! Everything he said about me was the honest truth. I am competitive….VERY COMPETITIVE! Now that I look at it, I never roll (spar) relaxed and I always do it with the intentions of winning (except when I roll against brown and black belts). I do have an ego, hence why I’m in the class full of experienced MEN and not women. Ok in my defense I get a sexual thrill from rolling with the men so my ego is only half of it and the other half is a sick perversion. HA! But the truth of the matter is that I need to change and when I start cutting the first week of November I’ll have no choice. There’s no way in the hell I can powerlift in the morning and then use my strength during Jiu-Jitsu in afternoon. THERE’S NO WAY!

So it looks like I have some humbling experiences coming my way for the next three months. I’m going to keep up with my MMA training until the end of January. My competition is in March so come February I’m gonna stop it all (Muay Thai, Boxing and BJJ) and just stick to normal cardio. I’m just amazed that he saw that in me and now that he brought it to my attention due to me asking for his advice……………..I have no choice but to deal with it and change.

WOW! Kudos for me! I found an awesome gym and I end up finding an awesome MMA training center too. Hmmm? 2009 doesn’t suck after all.

I start my cutting phase in two more weeks. Yup! The first week of November I’ll be cutting for my next competition in March! I’m looking forward too it actually. I’m tired of eating junk. I’m sort of sick of eating cakes, cookies, pizza and cheesy bread! OH GOD WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME??????? Why am I eating all this sh*t? Ugh!

Even though my eating has gone to hell my training in the gym going strong. I got an email from BB.com asking me to come back to buy products. This is what the message said.
Hello Akilah

We miss you!  I noticed that your last order was way back on Sunday, July 02, 2009.

Are you still working out? How is your supplement program going? Hopefully it is going great. Otherwise, now is the perfect time to get back on track.

Then it goes on to say that if I order some products by November the 8th I’ll qualify for a 10% discount. Hey Ryan? Don’t worry honey! BB.com will be getting a lot of my money soon enough LOL!!!!! When I’m in offseason I don’t take much of anything. But when I’m cutting for a competition I’m a pill taking, protein drinking maniac. So don’t worry your sweat little head! I’ll be placing my order soon enough.