goddessamazon’s BodyBlog

I want to thank everyone who offered their opinion and suggestions to my entry yesterday. You know what? I’m still mad about the whole thing. The good thing about all of this is that my anger gave me the extra push for my weight lifting today. My workout today was freakin’ awesome! I must admit, before all of this I was just lifting for muscular definition. Now I’m lifting for pure strength. I’m gonna turn this lemon of a situation into sweet juicy lemonade. I will take you alls suggestion and talk to my Wednesday instructors about this. They are fair and very encouraging. I’ve wrote about them in the past and I’ve always LOVED my Wednesday BJJ class. So I’m gonna tell them what went down this past Monday and last week and see what they will say or do.

Mind you, all I’ve been thinking about is counter moves, holds and chokes today. I even went into one of the yoga rooms and simulated some of the moves myself. Granted, I didn’t have anyone there to give me resistance but at least I was able to feel my body’s mobility through each move. I refuse to let anyone get the best of me in an unfair sparring match.

By the way, I know I haven’t been talking about this lately but I’m still going to compete in the SNBF show July the 18th! I know I haven’t mentioned anything about it in the last month but I’m still prepping for that show. Am I at my best for it? NO! I found myself sabotaging my prep several times with comfort foods like cakes, muffins and cookies to cope with the death of Fannie. I didn’t stop all that nonsense until two weeks ago. This Sunday or Monday I’ll take some progress pictures so you all can see my physique. It’s not bad actually but it could of been a whole lot better under pleasant circumstances.

Anywho, I just wanted to let you all know that I’m still prepping for my July show even though I’m taking BJJ and Muay Thai classes. Speaking of Muay Thai…..OMG! Did I tell ya’ll that I get my ass kicked that class? LOL!!!!!! Trust me, it’s not as bad as it sounds. My classmates don’t punch me hard but they kick hard and expect me to do the same. I do kick hard but damn my legs are so freakin’ sore afterwards. It’s gonna take me some time to get the hang of Muay Thai. Like I said before, I don’t have anger inssues to be successful in Muay Thai but I love the class because it works the hell out of my legs. My legs have improved BIG TIME due to that class so I’m gonna tough it out for the next 11 months. I see me doing BJJ for the next 5 years. I really love that marital art but I could take or leave Muay Thai.

Ok so I’m gonna end this now and get ready for bed. I’ll let you all know how tomorrow goes and thanks for your input on this situation.

Good night!

See? It’s times like this when I miss my friend Jazzmon. As soon as I left the Martial Arts center I would have been on my cell phone with her quick fast and a hurry to tell her what happened today. I’m so mad right now I can spit fire!

Ok so here’s what happen. Wait! I have to give you all some back ground info first.

As many of you who follow my entry know that I’m currently taking Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as a means of getting over the death of my cat. Even though I did this for emotional therapy turns out that I’m good at it and I really like it. The one girl who turned out to be a GREAT sparring partner hasn’t showed up for class since the day I first met her. So since she’s not around I’ve been sparring with these two short girls who…………………..ready for this?………………been in BJJ class for over two years. Oh but I’m not finished! They’ve been taking this class for over two years and they are still WHITE BELTS!!!!! What kind of sh*t is that? How can you take BJJ for over 2 years and still remain a white belt? Here are the belt rankings for BJJ

• white (beginners)
• Blue (you can get this belt within a year with constant practice)
• Purple
• Brown
• Black

Now I’ve seen several blue belts in some of my classes but they all are men. Good ole Tim was even a Purple belt. So why are the women all white belts? That’s a mystery I could give a sh*t about solving right now.
AnyIdon’tgiveash*t

Since I’ve been in the class for several weeks I am learning a lot of things on my own because my female instructor isn’t explaining to me the do’s and don’ts of BJJ. So when I spar against two of the females who been there for over 2 years they get pissed because they can’t handle my strength. I’m all strength and zero skills and they are all skills and zero strength. In other words we even out equally during our sparring sessions.

Last week during one of our sparring sessions I stood up with one of females wrapped around my waist and when I stood up she wouldn’t let go. She continued to hold on tight to me while staying suspended in the air. So what did I do? I let my body weight fall on top of her as she dropped on her back. She dropped on that mat HARD! Thanks to gravity and my body weight it was over for homegirl. She was done! But guess what? That was against the rules. Did they tell me that during intro class? Nope! As a matter of fact, last week I did a lot of moves that were against the “rules” but since none of my instructors are taking the time to tell me about the “rules” I’m doing my own thing until I’m told to stop.

So that’s not the part that got me pissed. Today I came to the center early and when I was in the ladies locker room a girl I never seen before walks up to me and asked;

“Hey? Are you in the six thirty jiu jitsu class?”

“Yeah”

“Wow! You are tall. I heard the girls complain about you last week”

“Complain?”

“Well they were more like whining than complaining. Something about you’re so tall and strong that they need to know how to take a person like you down or something like that.”

“What?” (now I have a crazy look on my face)

“How many years have you been doing this?”

“Years?” I said laughing “Girlfriend I’m brand spanking new to Jiu Jitsu. I’ve been taking this class for the first time for three to four weeks now”

“Is that all?”

“Yup”

“Well you haven’t heard this from me but a few of the girls in your class are getting private lessons from one of your instructors on how to successfully put you into submission regardless of your size. But remember, you didn’t hear that from me. Ok gotta go! Good luck”

She walks out of the locker and I’m standing there boiling mad.

Long story short…………….

I go to BJJ class and when it’s time to spar I can tell that the females have learn some new moves. They were able to break my guard and a few times got me on my back………..but what they didn’t know was that the strongest part of my body are my legs and when I was on my back I used my legs to flip them off me and I was back on top again. I even used a new move I saw on youtube to make her tap out and when I did it I was told not to use that move anymore because it was too advanced! Since I’m a beginner I am not allowed to use advance Jiu Jitsu moves during class!

NOW THAT PISSED ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you f*cking kidding me????? You’re teaching these girls new moves to handle me behind my back but when I use a move that I learned from youtube you tell me to stop doing them because they are too advanced!!!!!  DID YA’LL HEAR ME? FREAKIN’ YOUTUBE!  I’m learning sh*t from youtube and they learning sh*t from the instructor and I’m still whoopin their asses! BUT I’M TOLD NOT TO DO IT ANYMORE BECAUSE IT’S TOO ADVANCED!!!!!!

Didn’t April Fools Day pass already? Am I being punk’d?  WTF??????

So after class I left to go to the bathroom. After waiting in there for ten minutes I quietly walked back to the sparring area and peaked around the corner. Sure enough, the instructor was giving them private lessons on the side and telling them the mistakes they made with me.

Now mind you, this is only happening on Mondays and Thursdays. This type of sh*t  doesn’t go down in my Wednesday class. So now I have some thinking to do. I have to decided what kind of person I’m gonna be on Monday and Thursdays.

Am I gonna be the rebel who watches countless BJJ techniques on youtube (yes youtube) and practice what I learned on the so called “advanced” students?

or

Should I brush this off and not go beyond what I’m taught by my instructor and play stupid?

HA!

I have decided that Wednesdays are going to be my favorite day to train at the MMA center. I LOVE my Wednesday instructors. One is a female and the other is a male (a cute one at that) and they are teaching me sooooooooo much. You know what else? I’M A STRONG B*TCH! Today was the day that I saw for myself just how strong I am. Today I sparred with a Sista who was huge. Homegirl was tall and big. She was no joke and when she got on top of me it felt like she was crushing my bones with her weight alone. Trying to use my upper body strength to get from under her was useless. Absolutely useless! So after getting my breath I bent my knees and thrust my pelvic area off the floor into her groin area and home girl went flying over my head. She and I were shocked together. "WOW! Did I do that?" I said to her with a huge smile on my face. "You sure did!" she replied. Even though I got her off me she was able to put me in an armbar when we started over again and I eventually tapped out! But according to her and our instructors I’m the only person (this includes males as well as females) to be able to throw her off me. Even the guys can’t buck her off them!

I want to spar with her forever. She is the only challenge I have in BJJ. She uses her weight like I use my height and honey let me tell you…………..she and I are the perfect match. She is my biggest challenge (no pun intended)! Forget this Tim guy! He ain’t doo doo compare to this Sista! She’s been doing this for 6 months so she is more advanced than me. If I can surpass her skill, handle her weight and build my stamina I’m gonna start competing in BJJ tournaments. She will be my test to see if I have what it takes to compete in BJJ.

Now competing in Muay Thai? Hell no! I’m too pretty to get hit in the face and kicked. I don’t mind learning the sport but I’m not going to be a MMA fighter. That’s not my cup of tea. Not only that but everyone in my Muay Thai class has anger issues except for me. They all are unhappy, pissed  and ready to whoop somebody’s ass! IMO you have to have a certain level of anger to be a good MMA fighter. I don’t have those issues. The only thing I have is a broken heart and you can’t be a good MMA fighter with a broken heart. A good song writer or poet maybe but a MMA fighter? Forget about it!

Anywho, I gonna give myself 4 months to see if I have the potential to compete next year in BJJ matches. Anything close to wrestling I can do with ease but fighting isn’t my thing. So I’m gonna stick to this and see how far I can go.

Wish me luck!

Ok let me give you all a full update on what happened last week and today. Trust me……….it’s all relevant.

So last Thursday I was suppose to go to the training center for my BJJ class to spar with big bad TIM! Well, it never happened. That day when I woke up I made the mistake of turning on the TV to watch the weather channel, but as soon as the TV came on the first thing I saw was a commercial featuring a box full of cute playful kitten. I instantly thought about my Fannie and started bawling. My entire day was ruined from that moment on. Now my reaction really surprised me. I know I’m not over my cat’s death but I was really  surprised with my emotions that day. I was in a state of depression and it wouldn’t go away. I barely ate, I didn’t go to the gym to lift weights and I didn’t go to BJJ and Muay Thai class. I just stayed in bed most of the day crying and feeling like sh*t. I tried to pull myself together but I wasn’t successful. So the next day I called a friend who is the Queen of Nagging and asked her to nag the Sh*t out of me if I don’t go to the gym, return phone calls and attend BJJ class. It worked! One thing I hate is to be nagged and my friend is a PRO in nagging.

Anywho……….I still wasn’t feeling happy but I went to BJJ class on Friday anyway since I missed it on Thursday. So I officially met Tim. He was tall (around 6′1") and very lean. He was quiet and didn’t have much to say to me. Hey? That’s cool because I wasn’t in the mood to chit chat either. Pfft!

So here’s where it gets funny! Ok, before the start of class our instructor makes us do these warm-ups which feels like a cardio session in boot camp. We have to run, jump, run, do push-ups, run, crawl, run, kick, run, sit ups and then more running. Most of us are soak and wet just from that alone. I HATE THEM!!!!!! I REALLY HATE WARM UPS and it shows on my face that I hate them when we are doing it. (that tid bit of information is important for later)

So I struggle through 10 minutes of warming up. Then we are shown moves by our instructor and practice them on each other. After that then our instructor pair us off to spar. "Akilah and Tim? You two spar in section 1" So we both walk over there and kneel before each other. Tim looks at me and says "How long have you been training?"

"Not long" I replied "Just two weeks"

"And you never been pinned by any of these guys"

"Nope"

Then he gave me a cocky smile and said "Well today is the day so get ready"

Now I don’t know about you all but I already knew this guys was going to pull out kinds of tricks from his little bag. He was close to my height with much more experience so of course he had a better chance at pinning me. But here’s where it gets good.

As soon as everyone was paired together our instructor yells the count off to all of us at one time.  "Three, Two, One………..GO!"

As soon as he said "Go" I instantly fell on my back and let my body go limp! You know how dog trainers form their hand like a gun and point it at their dog then yell "Bang! Bang!" suddenly the dog falls to his side and play dead? That’s what I did. When the instructor said "Go" that was my version of "Bang! Bang". As soon as I heard that I fell down and played dead. *snickers*

My instructor quickly comes over, told me to get up and assume the starting position again. He calls out the count "Three, Two, One…………..GO!" I fall on my back again and let me body go limp!

"You Win!" I said still lying there.

My instructor realized what I was doing. He saw right through me so he walked over to me, bent over and said "Akilah fight! If you don’t fight I’m gonna make you do warm ups for the rest of the class"

Well that’s all I needed to hear! I hate those f*cking warm ups and that was the threat I needed to make me act right! So I got up and when the instructor counted off again Tim and I locked arms and begin to spar. He immediately placed me in several holds. I got out of the first 3 but I begin to get tired and when he placed the forth hold on me I tapped out. We went at it again and he tried to pinned me down but couldn’t so once again he used his advanced skills to place my neck in another hold.  I tapped out again. This went on and on and on. After a while I realized that I was stronger than I thought and suddenly I got cocky. *smile*

"So when do we get to the part where you pin me?" I said barely out of breath. Now Tim is officially PISSED! LMAO!!!!!!

Tim could put me in a trillion holds but he wasn’t able to get me flat on my back and when he did I was able to get on my side or stomach. He was winning the sparring rounds due to his holds not a submission pin. Every time I tapped out it was never on my back and this pissed him off even more. Then he begin to get a little too rough.  So when that happened guess what I did? I fell on my back and went limp again! "Here you go Tim! Pin me down so you can sleep peacefully tonight!" Hee! Hee! Some of the guys in the class laughed when I said that and this REALLY pissed Tim off even more. Fortunately for me our instructor saw this and he made good on his threat by making me do warm ups for the remaining time of the class. Thank Goodness it was only 7 more minutes left!!!!! DAMN I HATE WARM UPS! I was exhausted by the end of the class and decided to skip Muay Thai for that day.

the conclusion……………..

So today we had a good class with my other instructor. My endurance is improving and the guys in the class are more friendly to me now. All is well in the world of BJJ. So after leaving that class I headed to Muay Thai and I noticed that I don’t feel right. I felt a little "Off". It all makes since 25 minutes later during Muay Thai class. When I did a round about kick to my punching bag I felt that familiar feeling that all young women feel when "Aunt Flow" arrives. I stood still in disbelief. "No way! No way! It’s too early for this!" I said to myself. I left my punching bag and headed straight for the bathroom. YUP! Aunt Flow is here! Damn that bitch! She always picked the craziest times to come visit! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this is why I was so emotional last week. Now it all makes sense. What a relief. For a moment there I thought I was having a mental breakdown!  I know I’m still grieving over the lost of my Fannie but I was surprised how depressed I got and how long I was depressed. At first I thought I needed to check myself into a mental ward but now I realized that it wasn’t my mind…………..it was my freakin’ hormones.

So now I’m sitting here pretty happy. Tim never got a chance to pin me. I wasn’t having a mental breakdown last week. My emotions were going crazy due to my hormones and my classmates have accepted me as one of their own. Whoo Hoo!

And even though Aunt Flow came a week early I am still happy. Life is good!

Good night!

See? I told ya that I learned my lesson! Today I made it through BJJ class with no problems. That crap I did Monday came to a halt and today was a much better day. I ate my 5th meal an hour and a half before class and I didn’t take any stimulation pills with my white flood this morning before my weight lifting workout. I did things like I was suppose to do them and all was good!

You wanna know what else?

I love my Wednesday instructors. Not only do they take the time to show me how to do proper grappling moves but they inspire me to do my best. Last week I was getting frustrated with being new and not knowing all the basics yet (yes I know I just started last week but my ego doesn’t care about that). After class the female instructor told me that I am one of the strongest women she has met since teaching this class. She told me that once I learn my basics and gain more confidence with my moves I will be a force to be reckon with. That put a huge smile on my face. Today after sparring my male instructor said "You’re pretty strong for a tall chick! Keep doing what ya doing girl." That made me feel good too. I guess all that heavy weight lifting for the past two years is finally paying off! HA!

Remember, they have no idea that I’m a bodybuilder. When I come to class I’m completely covered up. With BJJ I’m wearing this hot ass uniform called a "Gi". I have to exercise and spar with this thing on in that hot rec center (with no AC) and no one has any idea what my body looks like underneath.

This is what a Gi looks like. Mine is white though.

There’s no uniform for Muay Thai. You can pretty much dress how ever you want. Most of the people in this class wear tank tops and shorts. Some of the women wear halter tops and dolphin shorts. Me? I wear a big T-Shirt and big shorts that come to my knees.  Don’t get me wrong. I am not ashamed of my body. NOT BY A LONG SHOT! However, I know from past experience that when people find out that you are a bodybuilder that tend to throw it up in your face! I figure once I have proven myself and advanced in class due to my endurance and skills I can expose my body and proudly say “YES I BODYBUILD! SO WHAT?”

Until then I’m staying on the down low.  I’m really doing well in BJJ class though. So far none of the older students could pin me down or make me submit. Even though they are more advanced in the technique department I am able to keep them from placing me on my back. Even when I get tired after a minute of sparring I’m able to hold them in one place with my strength while catching my breath. This frustrates the hell out of the guys. LOL!!!!! But check this out. Every guy that I sparred with was under 5′6″ and skinny as hell. However, my male instructor from Thursday noticed this (he was watching from a distance) and as I was leaving the building this evening he said to me “No more little guys for you Akilah. Tomorrow in my class I’m going to partner you up with Tim”

Who the hell is Tim? Now of course I didn’t say that to him but I did think it.  I betcha Tim is some big ass country dude who could pin me down with his belly alone. HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! I ain’t scurred! Nope! Na ah! I ain’t scurred! Yeah, he’ll probably pin me down like a stack of hot buttermilk pancakes on a Sunday morning but I’m gonna do my best to keep him off me. I’ll let you all know how it turned out. Chances are it ain’t gonna be good on my end but I’ll give it my best shot! *smile*

Ok, well I’m going to take a shower and then go to bed.

Good night Everyone!

So it’s been a full week of me taking MMA classes in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Muay Thai. BJJ is going well. I see me hanging in there throughout the year but MUAY THAI?????!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!! MUAY THAI IS KICKING MY ASS! LITERALLY!

When I leave BJJ class I feel good. Then again I’m spending 60 minutes wrestling on a mat with men so of course I’m gonna feel good after all that. But last week I left Muay Thai with a busted lip, swollen toes from all that f*cking kicking and sore chins.

Today I made a big mistake. A mistake I will never make again! When I lift weights in the morning I don’t do cardio because of the MMA classes I’m taking during the week. Well ladeedaa! Guess what I did this morning after lifting weights? Yup! You guest it! I did an hour of cardio. Doing cardio after my workout today was mistake number two. Mistake number one was taking an Energy pill along with my white flood. Don’t ask me why I did that because I don’t know the answer. Let’s just say I had a "dumb moment" this morning. Mistake number three was eating a heavy meal 30 minutes prior to my MMA class. See? I told you was having "dumb moment".

So today I made it through BJJ class OK but I barely made it through Muay Thai class. I had to stop several times to catch my breath and when I burped I could taste my last meal which meant that it wasn’t fully digested yet. DUMB! DUMB! DUMB!  I’ll never do that shit again! LESSON LEARNED! with only 10 minutes left in class my MT instructor noticed that I was struggling and he made me get out of class and sit down against the wall. I felt like a little child in "time out". To make matters worst after class he comes over to me and gives me a lecture about EATING RIGHT AND NOT STARVING MYSELF!!!!!

I didn’t even bother correcting him. I just sat there and listened. I didn’t tell him that he’s preaching to the choir nor did I tell him that I know more about nutrition than he will ever know. But I can’t blame him though. I’m sure I look like some clueless chick today! You see, when I come to class I come covered up so these guys have no idea that I have muscles. I wear a big T shirt that covers my arms and big shorts that stop at my knees. They have no idea what my body really looks like!  To the average person I look like some skinny chick with big clothes. So I understood why he thought I was starving myself which was not the case. I’m downing 3,100 calories of day. Ugh, I believe this is far from starving myself!

Anywho! Today was an exhausting day. It was also a day full of BOO BOOS! I’ll get my act together this Wednesday and learn from this lesson!

LOL!!!! Me? Starving myself? The jokes just write themselves folks! The jokes just write themselves!

I don’t know what subject title I should put for this entry so I just put "No Title" instead.

Well I don’t feel like talking about what happened with me after the death of my cat. I’m not ready to talk about it so I’m gonna go into something else that’s somewhat related.

After Fannie died my sister was really concerned about me so she strongly suggest that I get out of the house and do something. I tried to go out and function like a normal person but it didn’t work so one day I had an idea to take some Brazilian Jiu-JItsu (BJJ) lessons. I found two locations. One locations which was 5 minutes from me and another location which was 20 minutes from me. The place that was 5 minutes from me charged $65 a lesson and the place that was 20 minutes from me charged $120 a month with unlimited lessons and I could also learn Muay Thai too at no additional cost. I picked this one!

Last week I came in for a free introduction to see if I would like it. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I left that place soak and wet. I was hurting all over and the physical pain I was having was making me forget the emotional pain I was feeling for the lost of my precious Fannie. Usually I would wake up crying in the morning but the day after this class I woke up extremely sore. I was in too much pain to cry and I relieved to have found something to help me through my grief.  I went back the next day and signed a 12 month contract. I ordered my "Gi" online and got it in the mail last Friday. I started training this past Monday and I’m taking BJJ and Muay Thai. My training schedule will be

• Monday - 6:30PM for BJJ and 7:30PM for Muay Thai
• Wednesday - 6:30 - 8:00PM for BJJ
• Thursday - 6:30PM for BJJ and 7:30PM for Muay Thai
• Saturday - 11:00AM Muay Thai

Now some of my BB.com friends think that I can’t learn mixed martial arts and compete as a bodybuilder at the same time. For those who work a regular 9 - 5 or have kids this would be impossible. However, I don’t have any crumb snatchers and I am self employed so I don’t have any problems doing both. I lift weights in the morning and do MMA training in the evening. No big deal. The only thing I had to change was my calorie intake and cardio. Now that I’m doing this I had to up my calorie intake by 500 and stop my cardio after weight training.

This is my first full week and I’ll let you all know how it turns out but so far I can see me doing this for a while with no problems. My main purpose for taking these classes is to help me cope with the lost of my pet. So far it’s working. I don’t want to compete in any MMA fights. No thank you! And truth be told I’ll probably stop all of this when my contract is up. Right now, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Muay Thai is just therapy for me. I’m using this sport for emotional therapy. Some people go to a shrink, others use drugs and a few use sex but I need something stronger and MMA seems to be my therapy of choice.

I’ll keep you all posted!