By dumping my fiancee!
I’ve been a member of this forum for over 4 months and a lurker for 2. When browsing the forum I would read so many threads about a BBer’s boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband or fiancee not supporting their fitness goals. Some of those threads would be so heartbreaking to read. I could feel the pain that the person was in when sharing with the forum their distress, especially when they’re married. Not having the support of your spouse is the worst situation of all. I think……..no wait……..I know that woman have it worst than men. It’s not easy to find a man that would be comfortable with a woman transforming her body. I use to know this by reading other women’s stories but now I know from personal experience.
When I met my fiancee I was in Germany working with a close friend of mine who’s a chiropractor. I was 40 pounds overweight at the time and my fiancee (who was my boyfriend at that time) didn’t mind the extra pounds. After being in the relationship for nine months I decided to loose the weight. While in the process of loosing the weight my fiancee asked me to marry him and I accepted. Things were great for us UNTIL I decided to gain muscles. I mentioned this to him and he appeared to be supportive. I guess he didn’t think I was serious until I begin to buy books and spend hours on the internet researching female bodybuilding. When I started to faithfully attend the gym and completely changed my eating………..things started to change. While in Germany he would purposely cook fattening foods, deserts and buy lots of wine. Every time I would go to the gym he would complain. While at the gym he would call my mobile phone pestering me about coming home. Finally I had enough and would purposely leave my phone at his house before heading to the gym. When he realized I wasn’t taking my phone with me to the gym he would come to the gym during my workouts. We would have big fights about it almost everyday. Finally I had enough, so I decided to come back to America and stay here for 16 months while transforming my body. I refused to go back to Germany until my transformation was complete and entered several BBing competitions.
While here in Atlanta he decided to call me one day and open up about why he tried to sabotage my goals. Two years ago he had a girlfriend who was a fitness model and after a couple of months of dating she insists that he start bodybuilding. She bugged him week after week about doing it and he would always refuse. After his final refusal she dumped him for a bodybuilder who trained at her gym.
I told him that I would never do that to him. I want to gain muscles for my own personal goals. I had no intentions in doing that to him. I have never mentioned to him about loosing weight, gaining muscles or working out in the gym. I accepted him for who he is and just wanted to same in return.
Long story short………..his behavior got worst and when he would come to Atlanta to see me it was the same thing all over again. Complaining about me going to the gym 5 days a week, trying to feed me my favorite fattening foods, etc. When I would deny those foods and stay devoted to my gym routine he resulted to insults and name calling. Then he would accuse me of meeting bodybuilders on this site and screwing them. The final straw was when he saw my recent progress pictures and said “Women should not have muscles because muscles are ugly and I will never accept your muscles”
That was it! I had enough! Why should I put myself through such abuse? Why do I need to stay in a relationship with someone who is bringing me down? So I ended it ALL! I gave him his ring back and wished him a good life. I don’t want to have anything to do with him again.
Why would I marry a man who doesn’t support me or my goals?
Why deal with a man who can’t put his past behind him?
He accepts me as long as I’m overweight but judge me when I want to gain muscles? F*ck him! Why would I marry someone like that? I deserve better. MUCH MUCH BETTER!!!!!
I’m not sad about breaking it off with him completely. As a matter of fact I feel a sense of relief. Once again I’m free! I’M FREE! I’M FREE! I’M FREE!!!! Free to be who I want without being judge by someone who’s suppose to love me.
I will always remember a famous quote by William Shakespeare. I applied this quote to my situation.
To Thine Own Self Be True
If your significant other doesn’t have your back when it comes to your fitness goals (especially if you’re a woman) my heart goes out to you. Maybe it’s not easy for you to walk away from the relationship like I did. Perhaps you feel like he/she will eventually change. For your sake I hope so. As for me? I rather be happy alone than miserable with someone else.
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