gjesy69’s BodyBlog

I just wanted to say I attended my son’s 8th grade graduation and I of course stressing to decide what to wear.  I had blouse I liked a great deal I was unable to wear just a month ago due to how it grabbed my fluffy tummy, but yesterday, didn’t grab a thing, so the tummy has definitely shrunk.  Ahhh, I look forward to more of that happening.  I have increased cardio a good deal this week, so I am hoping to see something very positive come Monday’s weigh in. 

Shedding the water weight I was carrying due to hormonal shifts.  Feeling better.  Joined a new gym, still have the old one.  The old one is higher quality and kept up more efficiently while this gym is more trendy and stylish.  But the main factor in joining is the variation in equipment and the flexibility of the hours because it is a 24 fitness center.  I just finished with my first workout there and tried the wave machine for warmup and then did 20 min. interval training on the treadmill after my weights.  I must admit, I feel great.  I think this is going to really give me a boost in my cardio, which I need a good deal to get this excess weight off.  I’m looking forward to seeing the scale dropping.  I’m  nearly to my first goal, under 220, so then I will have to up my goal and see how far I can get the last 2 weeks of this first intense 6 week period. 

I’m really feeling it physically today.  The tightening in my neck and seeing the weight shift off of my face, also feeling my core tightening, that feels incredible. 

Into week 4, having a good deal of stress the past few days.  Between carrying extra water and dealing with ex’s and teenagism’s I’m feeling a little down.  It’s a time when in the past I would have resorted to cuddling up with a pizza and some cookies and tear jerker, crying myself to sleep and getting on with things the next day, which usually meant continueing with more fast foods that would still soothe me desire for immediate gratification feeling like I deserved some happiness and if this was it I would take it. 

I see how that’s worked for me.  Not so much.  It’s given me a lot of work to do now, so I am refusing to give in to old habits and trying to create new ones and I suppose this is the time to be tested.  So far I am hanging in there. 

A lovely evening with my boyfriend would probably cure a good deal but not an option right now, he’s too far away, so I must admit I tend to sulk a bit and feel lonely when unable to get a proper hug when I want one.  (I’m such a girl)  And in the past food has replaced lack of affection for me, so yet, another obstacle to tackle.  Hopefully it’s all character building and I’ll be better off for it.  Let’s get through this tuff week and find a better one on the other side. 

So I’m entering week 3, and now at 224 it’s the spot I’ve been getting stuck at for the past 6 months or so.  I get a sort of anxiety I think the realization of moving forward.  Comfortable in mediocrity has been my downfall.  Now as I see such a milestone of a birthday approaching I know I can waste no time, if I want to experience life as God has intended for me I need to live it to the fullest and I can’t continue to hide in what has become comfortable. 

This past year has been a year of challenging myself.  Reaching out past my comfort zones.  Taking advantage of opportunities presented, even when afraid.  Pushing fear aside and just doing it.  I haven’t regretted it.  It’s only brought me a more colorful and brilliant life.  And perhaps even some of the most crucial and beneficial friendships I have or ever will have. 

Every day leading up to this time has been in preperation to now push through this wall that I had built to protect me from the outside, now I feel ready to face whatever lies out there and the wall that I thought had been protecting me I found was only holding me back. 

Every pound, every day of eating right, every day making healthier choices for myself mentally, physically and spiritually, is like destroying another brick in that wall. 

I’m just beginning to see the sun peeking through the cracks. . . It truly is beautiful.

First day of personal BB blog.   Nearly 2 weeks into my first very strict 6 weeks ever in my life.  My dearest friend Otto has been my greatest supporter and motivator.  His own personal success and the sharing of his knowledge has assisted me a great deal. 

I spent most of April in England and learned from Otto while there.  Now I am working what I have learned and applying it in the best manner I can.  We did eat out a fair amount and I had a good deal of alcohol while there so I did put on some weight.  Even though I was exercising. 

When I weighed upon arriving home I had bounced up to 235 pds.  I was feeling slow and sluggish and bloated.  I lost 4 pounds right away, probably all the extra fluid I was carrying around.  Then about 12 days ago began this 6 week experiment at 231 and clean eating and working out has gotten me back down to 224. 

I had been in a very difficult marriage last year and I am an emotional eater along with a social eater so with all of the stress of the relationship I had peaked somewhere near 300pds.  Yikes!  Crazy.  I didn’t seem to comprehend how much I was expanding while doing it.  I was in some food haze.  Trying to keep the painful demons at bay, yet only creating more. 

Upon finding out my spouse had topped off the daily abuse with infedility I hit rock bottom.  Then couldn’t eat and lost.  I got to about 245, was feeling better, kicked my ex out and began trying to piece my life back together. 

Then I fell in love with a wonderful man.  And working out and eating better helped me lose more.  I think my best in the past year has been 218.  But then I hovered and stayed around 220 moving between 222 and 225 for a couple of months. 

Now I’m ready to take it to the next step and I want to make a complete physical transformation.  I want to do it eating well, within a pattern I intend to keep throughout life and combine that with weight training and cardio. 

I love building my muscles and feeling strong physically.  I was raised actually in a very active lifestyle, always prone to being chubby, it helped keep the chub at bay.  My parents ran their own martial club and we taught 7 days a week for much of my life. 

Body spirit connection is vital to me.  I look at my physical betterment as an extension of trying to live a life I can feel good about.  Building my character and improving myself spiritually as well as physically.  Life is a gift.  I don’t mean to squander it, as I have been guilty of much of my life. 

 Today is a new day.  I hope we all can make the most of it.