I'm definitely not the only one who finds it tough to get back in a groove over the holidays, and tonight, I feel good about saying I'm finally coming out of my post-holiday funk.  I'm cooking up my meals for the week, and feeling some excitement about being back in the gym 5 mornings!  Between coming back to work, and a case of the "JANUARY's" (uhm, sunshine, please???), not to mention horemones, I can say it has been a decidedly uphill battle, which I have indeed fought valiantly.

Which brings me to the very thing that prompted this post, and that is: Muffuletta.  Quite possibly my new favourite thing, period.  It's this finely chopped olive mix I just found in a jar at the store in the pickle/olive/condiment section.  The beauty part is, I can use as little or as much as I need in order to fill out the calories in a dish.

For example, today's Turkey Mishmosh was humming along like this:
Ground Turkey 800
EVOO  Tbsp    120
chick peas      280
soya Tbsp     + 10
-----------> 1210  But I wanted to fill it out to 1400 for 7x200 Calorie portions.
zucchini           20
soya Tbsp        10
red chili paste     0??
carrots         + 35
---------->  1275 At a little bit of a loss, not wanting to add too much wetness to it with a bunch of tomato sauce or smthg, checking out the olives... It came to me: MUFFULETTA.
at 40 Calories and a tonne of flavor per oz, my quick math had me weighing out 3oz to stir in, a little splash of water to let it finish, and Voila!  a good 1400 calories of protein and veggies and fibre I can let cool and portion out into 7 days of a healthy meal with either a piece if cheese (80 Cal) or a small green apple (55).
Life is good!
Eat well, and Be Well!
~gp

I have always had an appetite, yes, girl can eat! But now it's time to flip the script and I think I'm really ready. It's little things sometimes, but I was raised in a household where my father lived through the Great Depression - nothing was wasted, and we were all consummate members of the "Clean Plate" Club.

Even though I mostly eat a pretty healthy diet, I found it all too easy to buy into the myth that, "if it's healthy, you can eat as much as you want!" Ya right.

So the past two mornings as I prepare my eggs, I have gone so far as to take out two eggs... pause and say an affirmation to myself, put one back, and top off that one egg with some whites, a little shredded 4-cheese and salsa - today some fresh spinach, too. By no means plain eggs. I'm actually thinking if I go and dress them up with cheese and all, I should forego the egg all together, so its either whites with one whole egg, or whites with some cheese, or whites with spinach, but certainly not the whole kit- and kaboodle every day.

So my affirmations go something along the lines of "eat just enough for now, you can always have more later." or "You have everything you need." When I began to make a 2-egg breakfast, I actually was describing it in my head as "hearty" lol so I caught myself and said, maybe I don't need to be eating such "hearty" meals all the time. let me eat just enough.

I have always wanted MORE... no matter what it is. More, Please! This is a dramatic shift for the girl who long felt it was never enough... Today, i have the freedom to let go of those old internal scripts, let go of the notions and Lies I actually believed for so long were true... and find my own truth. Truly liberating.
Be blessed, and have an amazing weekend!
~GP

Yesterday was my first full day of fasting. Wednesday, I began a fast for the first half of the day, and around 2PM I shared a nice meal of chicken, rice, corn and cherries for dessert. (Maybe even a little chocolate). I wasn't actually all that hungry when we sat down, but mentally, it was a strange thing not to eat. It's one of the things people do, fairly often, and pretty consistently. So when A offered to bring over something to eat, I found it difficult to say, "No, Thanks," in a meaningful way, but we enjoyed an absolutely delicious meal together and talked about our goals... He is so supportive, and had reassured me the night before, however I wanted my body to be, I was capable of transforming it accordingly.

I have long felt this layer of just soft, unnecessary fat on my body, all over. I had been sick a couple weeks ago and have been constantly clearing my throat ever since. I decided it was time for a fast. I continued with the Master Cleanser yesterday, which I alternate with various teas, for the most part. Yesterday, I also made a delightful lemon, green apple, fennel juice! Yum! I even enjoyed feeding A ground turkey and rice, and another meal of greens and tomato, chicken breast, and rice. When he finally weighed himself, and he was up to 194! Yay! He has been lifting at the gym in his building and is looking great.

I was caught offguard by the headaches which became quite painful in the early evening. Hunger pangs were also starting a little bit, so I grabbed a couple small Bolthouse protein juices, Vanilla Chai and Hazelnut Latte. Not exactly kosher, but not the worst thing in the world to ease myself into this fast. I was hoping the caffeine might help ease the headaches a bit. I was up late, happily practicing and preparing music for Church, in the hopes of getting this job playing the Mass.

By 2AM I was headed for bed, read another chapter of this book I'm reading, journaled, prayed, but found it impossible to sleep, my head was hurting so bad. It was all I could do to trust and pray that it would pass. I found a link that helped give me courage at falconblanco.com on Fasting. Reminding myself that this is how the process works and that the first 3 days might be tough helped me get through it. Now, I'm beginning Day 2, having up and shoveled the back patio at 550AM, and been up since, reading and meditating. It's a beautiful thing.
Have a blessed day!
GP

Nutrition is working for me. I can feel and see my body slimming down. Biggest nutrition hurdle since I started seeing A is now the eating out. So this week, my goal is NOT TO EAT OUT ALL WEEK. Saturday I have a regular date at a cafe w Alice that is not too bad - I can always get eggs or chicken and rice or something along those lines there. Sunday, we have been going to the Indian buffet, and I've learned to leave there satisfied, instead of rolling out of there stuffed, and we enjoy the fresh fruit for dessert! So there is really no reason to eat out M-F. AT ALL.

I also want to try to limit my bars to just one per day, which i think has been more difficult since I'm out of protein powder. We will finalize the bb.com order this week and that will help, I'm sure. smooth out a lot of kinks.

So, that means forming a new habit, which will be having chicken breast on hand in a baggie. I have been known to do this from time to time, especially if I know it will be a while before I come home, but I think I need to get in this habit, no matter what, just in case. so that no matter what happens when I'm out, however long I'm running around, I will never be caught needing to sit down and eat at a restaurant.

750AM Pure Protein bar. Back to bed...
1115AM 3/4 c brown rice, 3 baked chicken tenders
1130AM 1/2 c. cottage cheese. small green apple.

Gotta hit the showers here and suit up quick for my little run! Wheeeeee!!!
Hope everyone is enjoying a blessed day!
GP

If I want to succeed, I still need to tighten up my diet since the holidays. and if I'm going to tighten up, I need to first take an honest, hard look at how I have been eating the past two weeks.

Honestly, not THAT bad. BUT...
cookies. They are always there. Over the holidays, I did enjoy a few home-baked goodies. That did stop for the most part as of Jan 1st, but here and there, I may have had a cookie, and they DEFINITELY still call to me. Last weekend as a fun cheat, A and I got a bag of Geneva cookies to have with our coffees, and boy, was that special! No more cookies in the house. That's the only time I have ever had them in the house and I'm definitely not going to start making it a habit! To combat the cookie cravings, I have been making sure to have a bar with me when I know they will be in my face. Whipping out my PB protein bar the minute I smell the Reese chocolate chip peanut butter cup cookies totally does the trick!

creamer. I drink a lot of coffee. If it's good coffee, I can definitely enjoy it black. But, mostly as much as I drink, I will generally add a fair bit of milk. It's not always skim, cos I don't always have a choice. But lately, when presented with the choice... I have found myself taking half and half!!! We even grabbed a big bottle of hazelnut CoffeeMate, falling once again for the old "sugar free" gag. Ha. That shhh is all palm oil and corn syrup! YUCK!!! Definitely not the kind of thing I need to be pouring over my taught abdomen or thick thighs!!! So no more of that junk for me, and if there's cream there, I can choose milk at least, and even take it black again from time to time. I have been drinking a fair amount of sweetener, like splenda, even though I use stevia at home, so I'd really also like to cut back on the artificial sweetener, since I think that may be contributing to my uncharacteristic sweet tooth and subsequent cookie cravings.

portion control. I have not totally been measuring everything super carefully, and that's probably something I should pay attention to. A good example would be my oatmeal. I have been measuring the oats, and adding the water, but then there's too much water so I add oats, and then I added my homemade sugar-free pecan applesauce (which I did use up finally), but by the end of it, I was left with a big pot of appley oats (for two) and no idea what a real portion should be so...And do i have to admit that if it was hot, I would pour a bit of the hazelnut cream in there, too?? can we say, yummy dirrty oats??? lol Keep it simple, sweetheart. If whatever I'm making, I figure three of my portions and give him twice as much as me, I should be in business.

protein. I ran out of protein powder, but I'm just waiting for my replacement card to come in the mail so I can place my bb.com order.

I'm happy to report, that tonight, I managed to avoid one last cookie craving, but I did have a pear and an Atkins Mudslide bar, just to try it out. FYI, meh. When I got home, I finished the rest of my turkey mishmosh (this week was ground turkey with yellow zucchini squash, red bell peppers, and chick peas), and for my last meal, as much as I wanted to feed more mishmosh, I took a deep breath and pulled out my yogurt. I stirred in 3 packets of Real Orange and a scooper of raw almonds and pinioles, and a random packet of Equal. ha. There we have it folks. The end of a day pretty well done. I think. For the most part. sort of. :P

630AM whole wheat toast (1 slice = 100 cal) with whipped butter and sugar-free jam
coffees w cream. tee hee hee
8/830AM 1 c gr turkey mishmosh
1030AM appley oats
1PM egg and eggwhites with cheddar and mushrooms; sliced fresh tomato and sea salt
1 WASA cracker w 35 cal Laughing Cow
4PM field greens salad w 1 cx breast, tomato, red pepper, salt, pepper, lemon, EVOO
630PM PureProtein bar. 7PM snuck in 1/2 c mishmosh
815PM Atkins mudslide bar, 4 c green tea w 2 sweetener
9PM 1/2 c mishmosh.
945PM 1 c plain org yogurt w raw almonds, orange flavour
lots of water w lemon, Ultra 40s, regular vitamins/supps.
Ran out of Guarana and Chromium.

Two bars in one day is not ideal, and this looks more like 8 or 9 meals? WTF??? is this what happens when I'm all out of protein powder???? lol I need to get to bed...

It's takin a bit of a learning curve to get back into a stabilized mealplan since the holidays, but... getting there! today was actually a pretty awesome clean day, if still a bit high carb.

9AM 25g whey shake
930 1/2 c old fashioned oats w 2 purevia packets and 1 banana mashed in
11AM 1 chx brst and 3/4 c brown rice, heated up w EVOO
1230 3 small cups coffee w milk
3PM roast beef w steamed asparagus @ Garden of Eden
530 3 whole eggs, 25 g whey shake

I made my regular run into Hoboken at 1130, and walked about town on errands. I was having a pretty serious chocolate craving around 5PM so I just hurried up and got home and had some eggs. Whole, yes, but it's a start! and better than gorging myself on cookies later. So that is the last temptation of the python, tonight's cookies!!! I'll bring a bar and a pear, and that should help me stave it off... so long as I shirk the cookies, today will go down as a real victory! Made 9 pullups but with a little bit of a boost for the last one, and I paused and finished one more for 10. I am THIS CLOSE!!! to being able to do 10 clean, unassisted pullups! That's Insane!!! I love it.

So motivation is still a bit... uh... not there like I know it could be. The blog sitch has been actually INCREDIBLY DEMOTIVATING. who knew? I'm a little ashamed to admit how much blogging was helping me keep my motivation up, knowing that people are watching and cheering for me, on the one hand, and that I can also be an inspiration to other members for how far I've come already!!! That was helping me sooo much!!! So anyway, I guess i have to dig deep and find some more motivation inside of myself to get into my best body for my Birthday, which is about 7.5 weeks away. Flip through the celebrity mags? I dunno... :P

Going to the Opera tomorrow night with Man. So happy. :D it'll be his first time, so I'm really excited to introduce him to this incredibly magical world I love so dearly. peace to all, Be blessed!
GP