Hammies are sore today from that last Squat/Dead Superset yesterday.
I warmed up with Lat Pulldowns, 3 sets, then did some lightweight ballerina squat-presses with a body bar, light deads w the body bar and sg arm front delt lifts.  Then Malina came in the girls room where I was training and was doing these seated bench foot liftie thingies for abs, which I usually only ever do unweighted, so I did one set un-weighted and two or three sets lifting a 10 lb db with my feet, interspersed with more sets of squatpress, deads and delts.

There's this guy Joey, but I guess they call him "Evil Hank," cos he looks like this guy Hank I don't think I've met yet, only EVIL.  lmao  Well when I saw him on the floor, I went straight to the girls room and really didn't want to go into the pit, cos he's the kinda guy to go right up to a girl and start telling her everything she's doing wrong and sh**.  Mind your business, please!  It makes a girl feel so totally uncomfortable, like she's being watched and judged while she's training, NOT a Good Feeling!  So by the time I was done in the girl's room, I felt brave enough to get over where I needed to be at the Squat rack, and sure enough the coast was clear.  I finished with a Dead/Squat Superset: Straight Leg Deads (is there any other way???) with 45s and Regular Smith Machine Squats with 25s, 6 or 8 Deads/ 12 Squats - 1st set.  3 Deads, 12 Squats - 2nd set, to FIN.

So legs are definitely feeling it!  We splurged on Chinese last night, cos I could feel a sore throat coming on, and I really wanted some spicy hot n sour soup.  mmm... chicken teriyaki sticks, singapore noodles, mu shu pork (they were out of duck) and a free egg roll later and we were both stuffed.  A is feeling like he's losing weight in all the wrong places.  He really feels like the test supplement was helping, and feels really unmotivated without it.  I wish he wouldn't take it though...

Guys - What works for you to help stay motivated to train, even when you don't seem to be putting on a ton of mass on your own? He is naturally built kinda slim, but he doesn't want to feel skinny, OR skinny-fat, and feels like he won't ever grow on his own.

I'm definitely feeling good about getting back on track!
I have all my meals prepped on Sunday, and I'm sticking to my eating plan.  Last night, after 1295 Calories, I was feelin sorta hungry, so at the meeting, I had a half a cup of whole milk, with some warm water and a Splenda, plus my 100 Calorie ThinkThin protein bar bite - instead of any cookies, or those gosh-forsaken oatmeal sandwich thingies! lol  No coffee, either, and at 930, 10PM a half a melatonin ensured that I'd be out in no time.  Slept great, but it was hard to get up at 3:35AM with the alarm.  Still snoozed like crazy, but I was on the scale 14 minutes quicker than yesterday, and hopefully out the door quicker, too!  :D

Scale is also down, actually more than Bodyspace says, because I woke up Monday 166.4, and today I woke up 161.2.  Four pounds in 2 mornings back at it!?  Yes, I think I'll take it.  Definite progress going on, if not perfection.
Stick with it!  It works if you work it! 
~gp

I'm definitely not the only one who finds it tough to get back in a groove over the holidays, and tonight, I feel good about saying I'm finally coming out of my post-holiday funk.  I'm cooking up my meals for the week, and feeling some excitement about being back in the gym 5 mornings!  Between coming back to work, and a case of the "JANUARY's" (uhm, sunshine, please???), not to mention horemones, I can say it has been a decidedly uphill battle, which I have indeed fought valiantly.

Which brings me to the very thing that prompted this post, and that is: Muffuletta.  Quite possibly my new favourite thing, period.  It's this finely chopped olive mix I just found in a jar at the store in the pickle/olive/condiment section.  The beauty part is, I can use as little or as much as I need in order to fill out the calories in a dish.

For example, today's Turkey Mishmosh was humming along like this:
Ground Turkey 800
EVOO  Tbsp    120
chick peas      280
soya Tbsp     + 10
-----------> 1210  But I wanted to fill it out to 1400 for 7x200 Calorie portions.
zucchini           20
soya Tbsp        10
red chili paste     0??
carrots         + 35
---------->  1275 At a little bit of a loss, not wanting to add too much wetness to it with a bunch of tomato sauce or smthg, checking out the olives... It came to me: MUFFULETTA.
at 40 Calories and a tonne of flavor per oz, my quick math had me weighing out 3oz to stir in, a little splash of water to let it finish, and Voila!  a good 1400 calories of protein and veggies and fibre I can let cool and portion out into 7 days of a healthy meal with either a piece if cheese (80 Cal) or a small green apple (55).
Life is good!
Eat well, and Be Well!
~gp

Week 9, I had said felt like Week 1, but really it was more like Week 0, being that it was Thanksgiving, so it was a short week at the gym, with lots of food on our roadtrip Friday and Saturday.  The Bikram class had me dropping 1.4 lbs!!! but of course, that water-weight is not like "real" weight, and quickly came back, and then some!

This past Week 10, feels more like a real week 1, but hey.  I took Tuesday off to do all my doctor's appts and the dentist before they year is out, and was too pooped to do an exercise class in the evening.  So four days of longer cardio sessions on the step mill.  Monday, 45 min @ level 10, Tuesday off, Wednesday 45 @level 10 + lat pulldowns, Thursday 16 min ArcTrainer, plyos / legs, planks, 22 min Stepmill @ Level 11, Friday 48 min @ Level 10.

Now, I am back where I was on the scale before all the holiday feasting!  Not bad for a week's work.  It feels good too, to know that it's going to last.  Next four weeks until New Year's, I plan to really focus more on these longer cardio sessions, with some supplemental weights / abs, just to round things out.  I can bump the levels up to 11 for the longer sessions now, and I also plan on adding a Bikram class Sunday evenings, to help keep my weekends on track.

Here's to all the hard work you put into reaching those New Year's goals!
~GP

I keep a daily record of my weight, bodyfat, water and "real age," along with the date and time of day.  I don't stress over any particular measurement, but I see it as a collection of data, so that I can observe trends.

Now that I'm beginning my sixth week back at the gym, I can easily look back and see how far I've come in so little time!  When i hit 165.4 that marked 8 lbs I'd lost in a mere 18 days.  That point, 165.6, also marked 12 lbs down from my heaviest weight, when I peaked 5 weeks ago, just before I started my job and got back to working out.  That's 2.4 lbs per week, or a good clip, which I may not stay at quite, but not so fast that I risk more yo-yoing.  Nice and steady, and it is working, if I just keep sticking to it.

Also, for what it's worth, my "real age" is down to 32, which is the lowest it's been in ten whole weeks! and my BF dipped below 30% for the first time in about 9 weeks, so this is all really great news, and the most progress I can say I've had in a long, long time!  My pants are fitting better, and the definition is coming back into my arms and tummy.  Who knows, maybe I'll even post some new progress pics, before too long
Be well,
~GP

After hovering - let's be real - hanging out in the 170s for Gosh knows how long, I had had this goal of 168 in my head all summer.  One setback or wrench or another kept getting in the way.  I would go on a cyclical ketosis diet... only to go away for a week where they were feeding us, and we all know it's a lot harder to stick to a mealplan when you're not at home.

Between all that summer traveling, being gymless after finally leaving the cramped girlie gym I'd hated most of the year, and the mounting stress of crossing the yearmark of unemployment in July... uhhh... I wonder why the pounds stayed on!

Finally, the dam burst when I got my new job, and joined the nearby Gold's 5 weeks ago.  Tonight I got home after a tan, a guitar lesson, and a 20 min massage... to a scale that read 167.8!  Yay!  Took me long enough!  But after all those times touching 168 and bouncing right back up to 173, over, and over, and over again, all summer long, just seeing it two-tenths below is a relief.  Now I know I am on the right track, and if I want to really break through and keep moving in a positive direction, I just have to keep doing what I've been doing.

My next mini-goal is 165 by November 18th, the Friday AFTER Thanksgiving, so not only can I gradually get down there in a reasonable amount of time, without too much pressure, I can also watch my choices over that first big holiday, so I wake up with my weight down, and not back up again with all the guilt and remorse.

So although this weight is about where i was over a year ago, when I first moved into this place, saw myself in the mirror and got a total reality check... I know my body is healthier for the past year's training, even if I'm back to square 1 on the scale.  Crazy part for me, is just when I got this job, I was tipping 10 lbs heavier, and at my alltime heaviest weight... same as where I was at the end of 2008, right around the time I was hitting bottom.

That's what gets me, is the irony?  the poetic justice?  What is it about being at an alltime low, headed for detox, and being at the best point in recent times, starting a new job, that made me so heavy each time?  Maybe each really was reaching a breaking point.  As good of news as getting this job was, I had been under so much low-lying stress for so long, that perhaps I was not in such a great a spot as it might have looked.  And as miserable as one might think it is to be drinking and partying oneself into the gutter... the Best moment of my life happened when I surrendered.

Clearly today, I am in a much better place than I was in 2008.  November 15 will mark two years sober.  I am happier and happier each week at my new job, which is also stressful, but layer by layer comes with the relief of knowing that it will only get better from here on out.  Paying off bills, but I have a salary.  Gotta schedule appointments, but I have health insurance.  Insane car repair bills?  Luxury problems.  What more can I say?
I never had it so good.

Be blessed,
~GP

At the start of my fifth week back to the gym, I'm happy to continue working on a mealplan that is working.  I am down just shy of 10 lbs in 4 weeks from my heaviest weight, and I NEVER plan on going back!

At the end of this free... weekend!  At least I can say we didn't go out to eat, and my choices were really nothing too crazy.  I am also getting over being sick this weekend, so I didn't want to worry too much about it.

My plan for this week includes a few minor tweaks from last week.
One, is I have all my 5th meals prepped and portioned already, since before, that evening meal would be left up in the air and I would end up eating whatever was around.  I also realized last week my calories were not nearly high enough per meal, some of them under 250 cals, which was leaving me super hungry all day long.  Hard to stick in the evening after having never felt satisfied all day!

I had cut back on some grains, by making my Meal 1 tuna sandwich just a half and subbing a small green apple.  I also cut the whole grain cream of wheat and was having a double dairy Meal 2 with yogurt and a shake, which was not exactly working for me, either.  So the hot cereal is back, and the brown rice is cut out of Meal 3.  (at least for Monday and Tuesday.  I need to make a decision on what lunch will be for the rest of the week, since those 2 lunches are Ground Chicken Meal 5's leftover from last week.  Finally, I planned enough tuna and will boil more eggs and have enough of everything to stick to a plan on Saturday, and really only have ONE Free day on Sunday, the coming weekend.

SO... Here's what this week looks like.  A bit higher calories than previous weeks, but I don't want to feel hungry all day, and I don't want to have any excuse to deviate from the plan.

MEAL 1:  310 Cals --> 1 slice Low glycemic bread 80, <1/4 c. tuna salad 120, sm gr apple 55, 1 small power bite 55 (protein powder, tahini, sesame etc... a friend made to share)
MEAL 2:  299 --> Greek yogurt 100, cr of wheat 150, 7 almonds, 49
MEAL 3:  310 --> gr chicken mishmosh w chickpeas and rd peppers 270, EFAs 20
MEAL 4:  300 --> 3 boiled eggs 210, cheddar cheese 90
MEAL 5:  296 --> gr turkey mishmosh w chick peas, cherry toms, spinach 296
TOTAL:  1515  (This does not include however much unmeasured skim milk if I have a coffee at the gym.)

The tuna salad and the other dishes are portioned by adding the calories in the components ingredients and dividing by whatever number of portions I need so that they equal around or under 300 calories.  290 is supposedly my magic number, which would put me in at 1450 for the week, so I should have no trouble sticking to this plan for 1515.

I am excited about another week back at the gym every morning, and sticking to my plan, which is working!  At this rate, I should break through 168 this week - next mini-goal is 165.
Be blessed, bspacers!
~GP

It feels good to get back in the saddle again. 

Did my first 430PM Spinning class at Gold's yesterday after work, and my first Leg Day back this morning!  the alarm went off at 5AM but it took a little convincing to hop out of bed... I had to drive out there close by my work, so I was on the floor by 6:35-7:25, hit the showers, out at 7:45 and pulled into work, literally 7 minutes later.  I love it!

Not trying to go too crazy and burn out, cos that has always been my tendency to overtrain out of the gate, so I jumped on the Smith Machine and threw 45s up, supersetting Squats with Prone Hammies Curl, just 2.5 plates.  12x, 12x; 10x, 10x; 10x, 12x; 12x, 12x; 15x, 15x.  Five sets, no more than 5 min apart, and moving straight from the rack to the curl machine.

 Then I moved into the Women's Area, and I did a couple quick supersets on the inner thigh machine and sg leg glute press, 40lbs on each, 20x for inner thighs and 10xR/10xL for the press, Two sets.  It was 715, so I made it over to the stretching area and did a COUPLE lol pullups and stretched everything out for 10 min.  Awesome.

It's going to be way easier to keep on a mealplan too, because I have to pack lunches and snacks, and my day is pretty well spaced out for me.  Last night, I stayed up long enough to cook up a pot of brown rice and a pan of turkey mosh, portioning that out to cover me for 4 lunches, with slightly larger portions on leg Days.  ha!

Friday is next Leg Day, so I plan to do free squats and find this vertical leg press, TheMaverick was telling me about...   Tomorrow is Chest/Back.  Till then, BE WELL!

~GP

I've been unemployed too too long.  Tomorrow I go in to sign my contract.  This will be such a relief, and I'm all full of nerves and excitement...  For too long I have felt in a rut, with this low-lying fear of letting go.  I went to the gym today with a gf of mine, I rarely get to spend time with, and we did a Zumba class.  If you have read my blog before, you know that I really hate the stuff, but she wanted to try it and never had before, so I faced my prejudice and went with it.  Meh.  it did remind me though that there is a place on my street nearby I could possibly sign up for bellydancing classes!  I haven't taken them in years, like since college!  That would be fun. 

 I also stayed after class just long enough to hop on the squat rack.  just Smith, 15x with 25 lb plates, and 12x w 35s on each side... just to get the feel for it.  Cool to know I feel good about jumping on with 45s next time and hitting the groud running, once I start up at Golds.  I plan to try it with a free week pass next week and try to find that routine, of AM workouts Tuesday-Friday, and a Monday spinning class at 430, just so I have a perfect excuse to get out on time!

I can't say how grateful I am for this job, and this opportunity to feel like, once again, joining the human race.  there is a long way to go to get back where I was with my training, but I know it comes back quick, one day, one workout, one positive choice at a time.

Be blessed,

GP

Today and old friend sent me two pics she found while digging through old photos.  One, I look so much slimmer, my same clothes are hanging on me... in another, my mom and dad are there in my first classroom; Daddy looks like a ghost.

I'm gonna put the chicken in some lemon juice and get ready for bed.  I don't even have the words right now.  Life goes on and everything changes.
be blessed,

GP

I have always had an appetite, yes, girl can eat! But now it's time to flip the script and I think I'm really ready. It's little things sometimes, but I was raised in a household where my father lived through the Great Depression - nothing was wasted, and we were all consummate members of the "Clean Plate" Club.

Even though I mostly eat a pretty healthy diet, I found it all too easy to buy into the myth that, "if it's healthy, you can eat as much as you want!" Ya right.

So the past two mornings as I prepare my eggs, I have gone so far as to take out two eggs... pause and say an affirmation to myself, put one back, and top off that one egg with some whites, a little shredded 4-cheese and salsa - today some fresh spinach, too. By no means plain eggs. I'm actually thinking if I go and dress them up with cheese and all, I should forego the egg all together, so its either whites with one whole egg, or whites with some cheese, or whites with spinach, but certainly not the whole kit- and kaboodle every day.

So my affirmations go something along the lines of "eat just enough for now, you can always have more later." or "You have everything you need." When I began to make a 2-egg breakfast, I actually was describing it in my head as "hearty" lol so I caught myself and said, maybe I don't need to be eating such "hearty" meals all the time. let me eat just enough.

I have always wanted MORE... no matter what it is. More, Please! This is a dramatic shift for the girl who long felt it was never enough... Today, i have the freedom to let go of those old internal scripts, let go of the notions and Lies I actually believed for so long were true... and find my own truth. Truly liberating.
Be blessed, and have an amazing weekend!
~GP

So the cool thing is I definitely feel slimmer, and I feel the low carb diet "working."  I don't notice the same super sweet pronounced taste in my mouth like I did after the first few days, so I decided to try and limit the dairy to about one or two mini-servings in the day, and keep my protein snacks more meaty.  Loving the green lunches with turkey and chicken!!!  string cheese as a small snack, low-impact high-protein bar, maybe a coffee or two...  a tiny piece of steak and an egg + whites in the morning makes an incredibly amazing breakfast, and all I had to do was cut up a larger steak into about 2-3oz pieces and get everything marinading Sunday night.  So each morning around 6 my little steak is ready to go, and a couple nights I had a larger piece at dinner.  I also have some oscar mayer carvers or something, chicken in the fridge is easy, but I do see that while there is no sugar, it is preserved with Nitrates *not* good.  I have more chicken to cook up, so I hope to get better at being prepared and really keeping the preserved deli meats to a minimum.  I also have one or two EAS carb control shakes with 2g impact carbs and 110 calories.  So maybe this weekend I can sit down and figure out for real, how many carbs I'm consuming daily.

I've been in the car driving a couple hours every day, so I plan to get back into the gym after next week's seminar - that much more important that I stick to my nutrition in the mean time.  A neighbour also got rid of a cheap-o stepper, which I scooped up and have out in the back yard, so maybe in the morning I can still step on it for a few minutes to wake up, and build from there, as an easy way to add a little AM cardio into the morning routine.

My weight is still steady, but it is staying a good 5-7 lbs lower than it was a few weeks ago, so I just need to be patient that it doesn't all happen overnight.  Things will happen faster when I'm training more, too, and I know that, so for the moment, I'm right where I need to be.  I can feel my legs slimming and firming, which is very cool, and my tummy absoLUTELY feels slimmer than it did about 10 days ago.

Determination is setting a goal and seeing it through, even when it's tough and even when it's slow going.  One step at a time, one day at a time, I am achieving everything I have set out to do.  Here's hoping you are too!
Best,
~GP

If you have read my blog, you know that - like many people out there - I have struggled with my weight for some time.  Sometimes I seem to be on the winning end, with a mealplan that sort of works, and fitness routines I enjoy... other times, my food or my fitness just don't seem to be gibing with my goals or the reality of my life.

The cruddy women's gym I belonged to was never much fun for me, and I knew there had to be something wrong if I wasn't enjoying the gym, and really didn't want to even show up.  I.  Love.  Lifting.  What's wrong with this picture???  After much mealplan wrestling and hitting a serious plateau, even at times despite working hard in the gym, the new body composition scale I purchased several months back was really a rude awakening.  Whatever I was doing wasn't working.

Numbers don't lie, and as lean as I felt some days, as hard as I was working, as clean as (I thought) I was eating... my bf was still much higher than where I wanted to be.   Trying different approaches still wasn't yielding the kind of results I really wanted.  So after several weeks more weeks of looking at discouraging data on the scale... I set it aside.

I started up my dance classes again, and was really enjoying them!  When I had a bad fall in class and really injured my foot pretty badly.  Really hard to keep me down, and my injury has just made me more grateful for my ability to run and jump and play, but still sore and less inclined to hit the high-impact cardio, and thinking more like lifting legs (no heavy squats tho) and hitting the pool. 

And O!  How could I forget, 90% of results are in DIET.  So now, as my contract FINALLY ends at the cruddy gym...    ...Now that I finally have a car!!!  I am driving to take some courses this summer, and am free to join any gym my happy set 'o wheels will carry me to, that I actually enjoy showing up and love, Love, LOVE my time there again!  I also did a big low carb shop and have committed myself back to fairly strict lowcarb eating, regardless of my workouts.

Six days of low carb eating has produced more real results than months and months of beating myself up, wallowing in delusion and self-defeat Ever could, or would!  My weight is down a solid 7 lbs from where it had been hovering at about my heaviest of late.  My bf even dipped below 30%, today, at 29.2, which is a tremendous victory!  I am committed to my eating now, because I know it will work if I let it.  If I slack off, I'm the only one I hurt in the process.  This is something I want and it's nothing anyone else can do for me.

I have a short-term goal to lose 3 more lbs in the next week, so I can come back and happily share with my voice teacher that I took her suggestion and dropped 5 lbs in 2 weeks - a reasonable small starting goal to get the fires burning!  I won't even think too much farther than that, but I am in it for the long haul.

Victory will be mine!
One day at a time...
Here's to your daily commitment to Your longterm goals...
Best,
GP

I think my dance teacher was having a rough day yesterday.  She was obviously irritated and got positively crabbier as class went along, but it's all good.  She is a phenomenal teacher and I feel so honoured just to be in her class!  I took the Advanced Beginner Ballet in the morning at Alvin Ailey, and then followed that with the pointe variations.  She said  I could stay to dance in soft shoes, just to learn the routine so it will be easier to get into my new pointe shoes!!!  yay!

So happy to have a teacher who pays such close attention to alignment, since that's really what I need, to break any bad old habits before I strap on my pointe shoes and twist an ankle!  lmao  I was relieved that there are all different bodytypes in class, so while I was certainly not the slimmest girl in the class, I was also dancing alongside several women, considerably older than myself, and even one really blue-haired old lady, with such a nice big smile!  Certainly only a very few stayed for all of both classes, and I did have to linger just a few minutes to try to get one of the combinations better. 

I woke up this morning feeling much better in my muscles than I usually so, not quite so stiff and stuck.  I will get out and run some stairs and stay in for some nice yoga... although next week I think I'll plan to go downtown for a Hot Yoga class at Sun Moon. 
Peace and blessings to all,

GP

Pamela and I did Deon's 915 and 10AM classes back to back, and it felt good!  Definitely pushed myself a bit for not having been in some time.  Postworkout, 1 banana, 2 scoops ON Classic Whey and 1 c skim milk for about 390 cal puts me at 700 calories for the morning.  Weight came down from this morning and so did bodyfat!  I love how this shhhh works

Have a killer day, everyone!
GP