getmesweaty’s BodyBlog

just some quick words thanking all of u who keep in touch with me..ur support..motivation..compliments..encouragem
ent and occassional butt kicking comments help me so much even on my cranky or emotional days on this journey of mine and it is soooo much appreciated..but some of u know that i am horrible returning private messages..and i do apologize as i know that i am missing out on some great connections with awesome people and i know that with u taking the time to write i should find the time to reply, but sometimes i just dont..so please dont take it personally and please dont give up on our friendship..comments r easier for me to reply too, but i know some of u prefer not to "share" ur thoughts  as it goes public that way..which is totally understandable..but in pm emails i get way to many "show me dirty pics", "oh u like ur chest" or "get off this site, this isnt breastspace" and other not so pleasant to read words..so somedays i just dont like opening the emails..avoidance is sometimes way easier..but again thanks to those that keep in touch even when i am a slacker and i apologize to those that feel i am ignoring u!!

just a few more days before my bday..and for some reason the number this year just sounds OLD..so i am trying not to let that get me down..as i am just coming out of a few weeks of attitude and resistance to the healthy lifestyle..looks like it is back to writing up new goals and trying to make sure i dont limit myself with the whole age factor!!

well it has been officially a year since i joined the fun and support of bb..and i had hoped on my year anniversary i would be able to write an awesome blog talking about all my success and progress..instead here i am low on motivation and needing a huge kick in the butt to remember how important it is to get healthier and how good i feel when i am focused and eating right and exercising daily..

i had a few cheat meals this weekend as i had 3 different parties to go to..but it wasnt stress eating, more like "life eating" and actually, i was proud of most of the chocies i made..nothing like the old jackie would have devoured at any of them..but i learned a few things from the cheating:

~ ice cream doesnt taste as good as it did when u were use to eating sugar all the time..it nearly tastes plain and thick and well, kinda nasty (OMG..did i just say that about ice cream???)

~ tummies HURT when u put too much food in them..and then it makes it difficult to sleep with the discomfort..so not a good way to end the night after a fun time out

~ i use to "cheat eat" in private cuz i was embarrassed to have people see me eat crap..now i find it harder to eat cleaner the more people i am around..seeing other people eat junk makes it almost a "normal" thing to do

~ even "healthy" choices at parties and buffets tend to be drenched in the bad stuff..and my taste buds r starting to actually recognize and resent it!!

~ now i have to do more cardip to work off some of the extra calories i indulged in..kinda a fitting consequence for cheating!! 

i will be able to make it through ANYTHING!!sooooo much is going on at work that it is sucking every last ounce of energy from me..this is the busiest month out of the year for me every year..month/quarter and year end reporting (which is not my strong area anyways) and coordinating an event that is bringing people in from all over the state, and my boss has still not even posted the position that my coworker left over a month ago..so i am still running two full positions…uuugghh..super crazy..BUT usually this month i just binge and stress eat nonstop on candy (especially the chewy kind like gummy bears..uughh) and other junk food..but i have made it half way through the month..and i have not given into my own excuses or worries..that being said..i think i am "stress typing"..instead of munching stupid food..i ease my work anxiety by being online waaaay too much..crazy how the busier we are..the less work ya want to do sometimes..well..if i can make it the next two weeks as clean as i have been..i know i can make it through anything and this journey will start moving much faster towards the positives for me and my changes..so wish me luck and thanks to all of u always for ur awesome support and for giving me another stress reliever that is way better than candy anyday!!

sooooo excited..rarely have time to scoop out yard sales..but check this out..got a curl bar, barbell, two dumbbells, 14 weights to mix and match up to 25 pounders with them AND a nearly brand new stand up PUNCHING BAG for $15.00 total…omg..can u believe that?? i paid $15 for ONE 10 pound dumbbell at a store recently!! whoo hoo..i always wanted a punching bag..and have been playing with it BIG time already..this totally boosted my excitement to get my full workouts in again..still am in shock someone would get rid of all of this..especially so cheaply..but their loss is for sure my gain which will lead to my loss of weight and gain of muscle..doing a happy dance right now!!

i had a really bad experience in a local gnc store last night..i am starting a new training plan and was recommended a different protein powder than i had been using..well instead of ordering it online at like half the price, i decided in order to not wait the 3 or so days for it to arrive, i went to one of the local gnc stores in my area..BAD idea..lets rewind a bit..the very first time i ever entered a gnc store i was a nervous wreck..i totally had to psych myself up as i thought it was only for "muscle people" and i didnt want to look dumb or out of place..well..i made it through the first trip and have had nothing but good experiences so far..but walked in last night with a different guy working..young..full of muscles..and an ego that nearly made me walk back out of the store before reaching the counter..but i figured i was there for a reason..so after a quick glance for what i was searching for..i could tell i wasnt going to find it..and even though he never asked if i needed any help..i asked him if they carried allmax products..and he immediately said no..so i said, oh ur website carries it i guess i will just get it offline..so then he almost acted nice and told me he could probably order it and save me the shipping cost..wow..he seemed like maybe he was going to be helpful and i probably misjudged him..but then nope..when i told him the product i wanted..he told me that allmax didnt sell anything with that name..and i know i am not stupid, but of course it made me question myself..so i looked it up in my wonderful new phone..and was completely positive that i was right..so i had to SPELL it out for him and then said, it is a protein made for women (hello, i am a woman..go figure) and then he said "oh yeah, we do carry that" and it was about 3 feet away from where the jerk was standing..and believe me, i dont call him stupid just cuz he didnt remember what products they sold..but once i brought the container to him to ring up (notice he didnt even offer to reach it down for me like all the other awesome workers usually do) he told me that he didnt think i really wanted that and that he thought i should try something else..seriously..u didnt even know u SOLD the product..how could u know it wasnt right for me?? so i told him it was recommended for me..and instead of just ringing up the sale..he questioned me on who my trainer was and why they would recommend it for me..OMG..i just wanted to smack the jerk..just sell me the bottle of overpriced protein already dude!! so as an fyi to all u great looking muscle guys out there..no matter how awesome ur outside package is..arrogance can take every ounce of sexiness away from u..dont talk down to women about training (we wouldnt be wanting info and asking questions if we didnt want to be more health focused) and certainly dont think that just because someone doesnt look like they r a bodybuilder that they know nothing about fitness and what is right for their bodies!! i left the store completely appalled with his disrespect and attitude..and will be more than willing to drive another 20 miles to the other store if i ever need anything just to avoid running into him again!!

i usually blog when i am cranky or emotional..so i thought i would take a minute while actually in a calm yet happy mood to just write a quick update and to send some major thank yous out..

guess what?? i am on day 4 of my new diet/meal plan/clean eating lifestyle change program..and i am just shocked that i have made it this far..i am seeing a side of myself i have yet to find before this week..a determined, focused jackie..a jackie that i actually really like!!

the friends i have made through bb have gotten me to this place..yes it may be too early to be excited after less than a week of focus..but for me this is HUGE progress..so THANK YOU to my real friends on here..you know who you are..my friends that write me even when i am cranky..my friends that go days and weeks without returned messages from me because i am too overwhelmed to write everyone back..my friends that r the bb rockstars that get pulled in so many directions and r so busy with their own training and competitions and yet still find time to write me..my friends in the military that without u i wouldnt be living in a safe enough world to even think about personal happiness (let alone my wanton desires)..my friends that tell me just a few words or pics from me give them pep and motivation when they r struggling to get back on track..but most of all those of u that believe in me even when i have given myself a million excuses and reasons not to believe in myself..u have all gotten me to this happy place..so thank u for being here for me!!

when change happens..u can either resist and rebell the whole time..or u can prepare urself, look for the positives and embrace what the future holds..i have spent my whole life trying to avoid change..and when change happened..i would be overwhelmed and discouraged..but today..i am ready for change..my clean diet starts tomorrow..i have told very few people in my "real" life about my diet, as they have all rolled their eyes or gave me that "sure, whatever" look on their face..today it is not about them..it is about me..facing my worst fears..my body..my mind..my excuses..my lack of knowledge and my expertise in avoidance..i am excited..yet scared to death..i havent slept in days as my mind is fighting demons of temptation but i need to win this fight..i want the change i know can happen..bring on monday..  

I think it is both good and bad that people can use this site as a "guest"..i know i visited bb for nearly 6 months before i got up the nerve to add my own page as i just didnt think i fit in with so many amazingly beaufitful, fit and healthy people, and it was great being able to track the progress of my good friend that first told me about bb without having a site. But..what i dont like is that u can log in as a "guest" and leave people mean or totally inappropriate comments. If you want to share ur anger/hate/disgust/superiority..this really is not the site u should be on, as most everyone on bb r great people willing to support, inform and motivate each other.  And the fact that u haters feel u can leave those nasty comments is just not ok..if u can’t handle showing who u r when u "speak ur mind"..why would any of us that get the mean comments even care to read them..as u r a nameless, faceless person..OH WAIT..guess what?? those of us with a real site can block comments from guests..we can still see what u write..but none of our friends have to read ur vulgarity..and when u leave a comment ur email address shows up..did u realize that?? i bet u wouldnt be so mean if u knew u could be tracked back..