My attitude towards “me” needs to change
I was at the grocery store today and I saw a woman (my age) dig into a basket of Quaker Oats Chewy 90 calorie bars. They were on sale and she kept on piling the boxes of those bars in her cart. Now, she was quite overweight and shouldn’t be eating that junk in the first place. False advertising makes us believe that just because it’s a 100 calorie pack, or whatever it’s OKAY to eat it. Well, it’s not and I just wanted to walk up to her and tell her that. But I didn’t. How could I? I’m not the best example of healthy eating myself. I’ve been battling with food my whole life and I’m still overweight. Yet, I’m grateful that I’ve educated myself about healthy food choices and know what to eat and what not to eat. Now whether I stick to healthy food choices is a totally different matter.
I’ve been working out consistently since May and it was only when I fixed my diet (thanks to Stevep78) that I noticed some changes in my body. I lost a dress size in less than a month! I was doing so well, but lately something in my head is just not clicking. In fact, the past week has been awful. I’ve been trying to stay on track, but I keep sabotaging myself.
It seems that every time I make a few small changes in my body, something inside me just shuts off and I revert back to my old ways. I never stop exercising; I just start eating like a pig and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing all week. I start my day committed and ready. I eat my oatmeal and egg whites; but once I’m at work, I just go into "sabotage mode." I don’t eat my meals, or (I’m so ashamed to say this) I buy peanut butter crackers from the vending machine 
Once I’m home, I eat more crackers (same kind) and I’ll have cereal for dinner instead. I hadn’t planned my meals for this week either, so it’s no wonder that I was "planning for disaster."
Regardless of any of the above, I wonder why, when I know how important getting in shape is for me (I’m supposed to run a half marathon in October for crying our loud!!!) I keep sabotaging myself. Why? Why? Why?
I really need to stop this madness and keep reminding myself how badly I need to change. More important, I need to figure out why I’m my own biggest enemy…
July 20, 2009 at 8:59 am
Hi Genki. I came across your blog from Team Poynter’s page and have to say I totally understand how you’re feeling and what you’re doing with your eating. I do the same thing on the weekends and I hate myself for it afterward. Yesterday I ate like a pig and drank too much because I knew I was starting Steve’s plan today and felt I should get all of the good tasting stuff and drinks in because starting today I’m going to be deprived. Well, the good tasting stuff doesn’t make you feel so good. I feel awful today and look like crap. I’m mad at myself for yesterday but today I’m motivated and ready to make a change. I need to stick with the plan or I’m never going to be where I want to be. Keep telling yourself how good you’re going to feel when you reach your goal. Planning meals ahead of time really helps a lot. I’d highly suggest doing that if you can. Everyone goes through hard times and sometimes people lose motivation. No one is perfect. What helps me is Team Poynter and looking at people’s progress pictures. I hope you start feeling better and just remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in this together =)
August 17, 2009 at 10:20 am
Wow, you just described me… I know what to do, it just I choose not to do it.