frogprincess72’s BodyBlog

Today my patient, the OG (old goat) as i affecitionately called him, passed away. I have been with him for the last 3.5 years. And while he frustrated me many times, he also was a wonderful man that I really cared about. And, as many of you know, his wife (whom i "affectionately" called the WW (wicked witch)) ALSO frustrated and angered me.. WAAAAAY more than he.. BUT all that was put aside this morning when he was taking his last breaths. And while I know this is a part of life, it is still hard.. Being a private duty nurse means that you are not only nurse, but family.. And now that family is gone.. And so is my job…

So I went to the gym to try to spin but I had little energy. I called it 15 minutes early and came home. But I am still doing my ‘last man standing" challenge, which I will continue.. I’m going to shower and have a good cry…. =(

At least in the Chinese Zodiac, I am.. And after reading the profile on being a Rat, I couldn’t agree with it more! haha   I am metticulous, intelligent, shrewd, charismatic, charming, ambitious, practical, industrious, eloquent, artistic (supposedly my POSITIVE attributes) and I am also Controlling, obstinate, venal, resentful, manipulative, mendacious, vindictive, power-driven, critical (supposedly my NEGATIVE attributes).. Rats are also drawn to hedonism, which leads to self-destruction.. OHHHHHHH REEEEAAAALLLY!!!

Let me tell you about some of the hedonism that i COULD have partaken in this past weekend! S’mores at campfire/skit night at the soccer camp… BBQ potato chips at the next day lunch.. and cupcakes..

To substitue for the smores, i ate my double chocolate Zone bar, slightly melted.. I didn’t substitute for the chips.. I just got up and left the cafeteria after eating my tuna and lettuce ’sandwich’ and carrots and started cleaning the camp… good diversion =)

but the biggest draw into complete debauchary and hedonism was the Costco cupcake.. We know how big those things are, right??? and i was sooooooooooooooooooo close to absent-mindedly tasting that sugary chocolate frosting.. it was RIGHT there.. tip of my tongue.. LITERALLY! and then suddenly i felt a karate chop to my arm as i saw the cupcake FLYING thru the air… it was just like a scene out of a movie, being rocked out of my dream scape scene! My son is yelling "DONT DO IT MOMMY!!!" while i’m yelling in slow motion "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OO!!!!!!" as the cupcake landed frosting side down in the rocks…. bless my son’s heart! He kept me from cheating on my diet

So, I have made it to day 4 of the challenge and I’m feeling strong (thanks to all my splendaciously supportive and inspirational babes) . Of course, I’m leaving in an hour to take my son to my mom’s for the week.. and my husband is still at our soccer camp until wednesday night.. which means, I am completely alone and I HAVE NO ONE BUT MYSELF TO KEEP MYSELF FROM HEDONISM for the next 3 days! In many ways, this will be a real test for me.. it sounds so silly really.. how hard is eating right??

and then some! haha..

 so today starts the first day of a 3 week challenge that i have chosen to accept! i will be participating in the "last man standing" and "baby got back" challenges..and to welcome those challenges, i ate just about every crappy, bad for me thing yesterday, that i could…haha.. BUT to meet this challenge i will be following the p90x diet from today until monday. on tuesday, i will be switching to a diet plan devised by jphillips17. i will allow myself one cheat per week.. and let me tell you, about 4 hours in, i almost cheated! haha.. BUT, i put down the candy and said, i will NOT pull a KRAMER! i am stronger than this.. i CAN and WILL do this! haha =) and i felt very strong for putting that candy down.. silly, aint’ it?

during the ‘baby got back’ challenge, i will be focusing on my love-to-hate handles/upper hip area.. i know most of that will go away with eating better and getting rid of the bad for me carbs. i dont have specific numbers that i would like to see but any reduction in shape/size would be just fine with me =) and i’d also like to focus on my triceps.. oh, and my lats.. i know that most of the muscle i already have will start showing once i reduce the body fat even more..

in addition, on july 21st, i started the p90x program. many of you have asked how i like it.. i don’t.. i LOVE it.. i already had resistance bands so i didn’t need to buy anything (except the program) but i already want a chin up bar.. (help work on those lats i mentioned).. i’ve done so many home based workouts in the past and i always stopped cuz they didnt’ challenge me or keep my interest.. after the warm up i was ready to stick a fork in my eye cuz i was DONE! =( not so with this program! tony is hysterical! and it’s fast paced, which is perfect for my short attention span..

overall, my goal is not to have a body that i cannot easily maintain. bottom line. i am happier with my body than i ever have been. too feel more confident in my own skin at 36 years old is simply glorious! to say ‘thank you’ and mean it when my husband says ‘hun, you’re stunning’ instead of saying ‘oh no i’m not’ and start pointing out my flaws is something i thought i would never be able to do!! to OWN IT is PRICELESS!!

with that said, i also know that i’m not satisfied! i know that i haven’t given 110% to acheiving the body that i see in my mind.. it’s not a perfect body that i envision.. but it’s perfect for me! and until i have given my all for it, i will keep on struggling =)

I DID IT! And for once in my life, I can say that I’m PROUD of me! tho I must admit that still feels conceited to say. But dang it! I DID IT!

 So family all arrived Saturday and we headed to Lake Stevens to get our rooms and attend the mandatory race briefing and drop off my bike the night before at the Transition area. By dinner, I was getting a bit overwhelmed with all the family dynamics but overall, it went very smoothly. I had Mom and step-dad; Dad and step-mom; sister and bro-in-law; hubby and little man; Janice, her boyfriend and their 3 sons. WOW! And it was kinda fun to keep hearing "it’s all about sonja this weekend. What does sonja want to do?" OH, a gal can get used to that!

About 8 pm everyone left me alone. So I packed and chilled in my room. I was trying to keep my nerves in check. At bedtime is when I struggled. No tv to distract me. No more packing. It was quiet time with me and my brain. At 11 pm I finally whispered "are you still awake? i need some help over here!" So hubby and I talked about the race.. about my fears.. about what i was about to do. And then I was able to sleep. Until 3 am, when I woke up and couldn’t get back to bed. Nerves and anticipation and excitement were in full effect! AND I WAS READY!

So at 5 am, we all converged at the hotel and headed to the race. They left me to go to the transition by myself, but not after LOTS of pictures and pep talks! And in i went..

then it was time to leave transition and head over to the start. And there were all my family and my tri group friends. And then the National Anthem and then LET THE RACE BEGIN! and at 6:57 am my wave started. The water was perfect! the Water so clear! and I swam my slow swim. And yes, I was kicked. And I had some guy try to swim over me (his left arm and left half of his torso on my back at one point) and I just kept swimming! no panic. no getting me out of my groove. and i swam the entire swim in freestyle! My back up stroke is breast stroke (panic/heart rate too high/arms tired/whatever) and I was super pumped about that! So I may have been slow but that alone was a big accomplishment!

And finally out of the water I came and 1.2 miles down. Family was there cheering, as usual. Fyi… for anyone reading this who has ever been a spectator at ANY event, let me tell you from a competitors point of view, we LOVE you! even if we don’t know you personally. Even if we don’t acknowledge you with a smile or a wave, we can’t do what we’re doing without you! … back to story… So I run up to transition and get out in one of my fastest T1 times … My sister said she was in a full sprint to get from the swim to the bike start to see me.. and she made it..

Time to face the hills.. Holy cow.. The hills.. Once around wasn’t so bad, but the worst was the second time you knew what was coming! but I owned those hills. I was strong. And i was efficient. I drank so much water, superpump, endurathon and consumed so much goo and power bars i thought i would get sick for the run but I knew i had to do it. And oh, the down hills. FREAKIN’ AWESOME! I was fearless. I thought, what the heck. If i crash and get road rash, it’ll be a GREAT story.

And finally lap 2 was over on the bike and time to head back to transition. and then the crowds. and the cheering. and then my family! screaming like i’ve never seen them scream before! And 56 miles down! And into T2 i went. Again, super fast. And out I came… I knew at this point I had to go slow. I had already given my self persmission on the bike to alter my goal. It was originally to finish in under 6 hours but I realized that wasnt’ going to happen and I had to let go of that goal. And I was ok with it. It doesn’t make me a loser. Everyone will still love me and be proud of me. It doesnt make me less of an athlete. And once i let that go, I was ready to finish.
The run went pretty well. again, a double loop so the second time around you knew what was coming. But TONS of water/gaterade/gel stations. I think every mile. and boy, did i used everysingle stop. And during the run is when the real motivation came. From fans and from fellow athletes. This is where the race began for me. This is where I was going to find out exactly what I’m made of! And this is where my personality got to shine, because this is where many of us were struggling the most. I ran with one woman who’s mom had just passed away 2 days before. I ran with one man who was having knee pain and wanted to walk. And we all talked and got our minds off of our physical and mental pain and encouraged each other to finish strong, for today is our rest day!

AND OH MY GOSH! I MET THE TRIATHLON NUN! i don’t know how many of you know about her, but she is 78 years strong and has ALWAYS been my motivation. EVERY year I cry when I see her story on the NBC replay of the KONA IRONMAN championships. SO TO MEET HER?? i’m not gonna lie! I CRIED! I saw her in front of me and when i caught up to her I said "great running".. and i started to pull past her without saying anything but I knew i had to. So i asked if she was the tri nun and she said yes. so i told her about what i wrote above and she grabbed my hand, gave it a squeeze and said " you made my day dear. thank you. now go finish your race strong".. OH SNAP! how can i NOT now???? so with tears in my eyes, I adjusted my stride and in to the last leg I ran. My family said that when they saw me this last time, I was so focused and determined and they knew I was reaching deep down to grab onto anything that I could. Up to this point, when I would see them, I would wave and smile but this time, I did not. I looked down. I could hear them and I soooo needed them at this moment, but I was afraid that if i broke my zone, I wouldn’t get it back and I still had 3 miles to go!

And I was feeling pain. My toes hurt. My left calf and hamstring were on the verge of full on spasm. My hips, neck, shoulders, my EVERYTHING hurt! But it was mind over matter and Into the gate I ran.. It was INSANE!! I could see all of my family screaming for me and the other athletes! I saw my tri friends.. and as I limped out of the gate, there was Janice, strong as ever to give me the biggest hug EVER! I think she was actually more holding me up at that point! haha..

 When we get back to the hotel, my mom and step dad are asleep on one bed.. My sis and bro-in-law asleep on the other. My dad and step mom are sitting in the only 2 chairs in the room.. Hubby and little man went to swim.. and no one offers to let me sit.. or lay down.. i’m on my own.. haha.. then my mom says "being a specator is VERY hard work.. and exhausting!" OH REALLY MOM?? I’m happy to specate next year .. and we all started laughing

 SOOOOOO… will I do this again?? HECK YEAH! maybe not next season, but I will. I think I would like to maybe work on speed for next season. But we’ll see, because I would also like to improve on my Lake Stevens race time. I’m competitive llike that

And today i feel better than yesterday. I am still sore and sitting down is no vision of grace or beauty, but I can actually walk down stairs without hopping down! I can bend my legs! haha.. I did hyrdotherapy when we got home last night (hot/cold shower alternating.. i wasnt really excited but what the heck.. i’d already tortured myself, what’s another 15 minutes?? haha) Tho I must admit, I’m still waiting for my appetite to return. I am only hungry enough for a few bites of something and that’s it.. Oh well, I know it will return and when it does, it will be in full on mode! haha

So here’s the low down and what you’ve all been waiting for……

My chip time was 6:07:59.53 My actual race time was 6:04:59.53 (we were waiting in the water for 3 minutes for our wave to start and the chip pad had set off our chips) My swim was 48:21 …T1 2:09… bike 3:14:53.. T2 1:38.. Run 2:01:01… I finished 30/65 in my age group. And 131/300 women. 555/876 overall. And over 1400 people entered but only 876 finished… ME BEING ONE OF THE FINISHERS!!