Hanes Her Way
My
My wife hasn’t said anything about it, but she’s silently acknowledged the fact through several silent gestures, like folding the shirt in question and putting it with MY clean folded clothes. So she knows I stole her shirt, but it is now my favorite workout shirt and she is not getting it back. She has stolen so many of my clothes over the years that she would be a complete hypocrite if she tried to enforce one of society’s many double standards against me. She can’t Double Standard me; I invented the double standard. I have been living the double standard for so many years that I can recite the pledge from memory: “I will clock hizzos and hizzos will be chaste except in my presence.”
I digress.
That Hanes Her Way tee shirt is the best workout shirt ever; v-neck, worn and frayed, tough guy grey. You cannot f*ck with that shirt. Ask Herm; he’ll tell you. I rock the hell out of Hanes Her Way. That’s why my wife is staying silent on what should by all rights be the beginning of a monstrous heap of verbal abuse. She knows I look better in that shirt than she does and the minute she says one word about it I have my come back all lined up: “Look you genderless ho, just because you can’t rock that shirt like I rock that shirt you are going to sit on your couch in your confederate flag belt buckle and Lynyrd Skynyrd raggity ass shirt drinking Miller High life lobbing completely obvious and boorish comments about how the tag on my kick a$$ shirt has a pink heart.”
I am so ready for her. This is why I went to law school people. Seacrest out.
October 15, 2009 at 10:34 am
Hanes Her Way and French pedicures. Has Herm ever ripped you a new one for your feminine ways?
October 15, 2009 at 10:38 am
I was just going to say that the Hanes Her Way must go nicely with the French Pedi.
Shannon beat me to it.
October 15, 2009 at 11:06 am
LMFAO! I think you are starting to give Seacrest a run for his money!
October 15, 2009 at 11:23 am
cross dressing is fun, m’kay?
October 15, 2009 at 11:40 am
Seacrest out LOL that was funny- wearing women’s shirts eh..hmmmn- you Americans LOL
October 15, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I think we’re all thinking the same thing here..pedi’s and Hane’s her way…To Wong Foo…..
October 15, 2009 at 12:22 pm
oh no you didn’t wong foo me.
October 15, 2009 at 12:57 pm
You’re fine wearing bikini (aka sports) briefs all you want too. Just please wear the male version … and underneath something else. ;P
She probably has a quiet giggle to herself every time she puts that in your pile of clothes.
October 15, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Can it eally be called "tough guy grey" if it is a Hanes HER (emphasis added) Way shirt….?
October 15, 2009 at 2:24 pm
From the photo, it is my opinion that you do rock that t-shirt.
You also rock the French pedicure.
You rock.
October 15, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Oh how I missed your blogs. lol J, it’s called "tough GIRL grey". Hence the pink heart. Even the cross dressers like a subtle hint of pink. It says "I could hand you your ass like a man but I’m going to feel like a woman doing it."
That shirt can not be for a woman. Look at where the shoulder lines hit! The would be one broad shouldered, scary chick. Or I guess a dude with a french pedi who happens to secretly like that the pink heart matches his toes.
October 15, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I dare you to wear it inside out with the pink heart label all out there, time to come out of the closet FP!
October 15, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I was worried that you were going to tell us about other clothes items you steal from the wife.
October 15, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Too funny.. Rockin the house in pink!
October 16, 2009 at 6:44 am
It just struck me … what made you desire to try on HER clothing in the first place?!
October 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm
AAAAAHAHAHHA… Thats HILARIOUS!!!! I would buy a ticket to that show (popcorn and col drank in hand) lol….
October 19, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Here’s the secret…
It isn’t a secret anymore, obviously.
When you are a worked out Jew with a chest and lats and a small waist, you go to the tailor and have them taper the shirt along the side seams, ever so slightly, not so it’s tight, just enough for it to show off your v-taper and it fits better.
Very subtle.
I do it to every shirt I own from tee shirts to sweat shirts to dress shirts. You need to have the shirts TAPERED to show off YOUR taper.
Get it? Not every guy can do this. You and i are special that way (and in the retarded way as well).
P.S. If you feel the shirt is a tad short for your six foot twoness, have the tailor let out the hem on the bottom. It will give you an extra maybe half inch.
I just want to help you rock…ROCK! Like your sig.
October 19, 2009 at 8:57 pm
are you really so small that you can fit in a woman’s shirt?..lol
December 3, 2009 at 2:29 pm
you are an absolute mess LOLOLOL!!