staying the course

I worked out pretty heavy on Friday, and then I started talking to a friend at the gym that I had chatted with before and he and I hashed out some stuff. I do want to work out for health reasons, but also for functional reasons, and even for aesthetic reasons. But I think I work better with smaller, reasonable goals, like adding 10lbs to my bench or doing full reps or doing a pull-up (unassisted), compared to like.. getting down to 10% bodyfat or 17" biceps. Anyway, we have some of the same goals and it was refreshing to talk with somebody who really knew what they were talking about. He trains on a strange schedule but it was great training with him. I did about 25 minutes of cardio after working out that I otherwise wouldn’t have done if it weren’t for him, and he offered to be a training partner and I said that’d be great. So maybe 1-2 days per week I’ll have a training partner that’s great to talk with!

He told me about a method that I can use alongside the assisted pull-up machine that uses the eccentric contraction at certain intervals. I stand on a chair and jump up and raise myself to chin above the bar and hold myself there for as long as I can and then slowly lower myself down, with a goal of staying up for 10 seconds; then I rest 90 seconds and continue for 2-3 more times. Eventually once I can do the whole 10 seconds, I can decrease the rest periods and/or do more sets, and supposedly once I can do it for the full 10 seconds for 4 sets with 60 seconds or less rest, I should be able to do one pull-up. Assuming I’m otherwise training the rest of my arms and chest. (I used to be really fat as a child too so I never was able to do a pull-up in P.E., and thus I’ve never done a pull-up my entire life, so this is a big deal for me.)

I also had to do some overtime on Saturday on bike patrol at work (usually I’m at a desk job at a dock), and that was like 7.5 hours of on and off cardio, so I was really tired come Sunday when my workout partner had wanted to work out, but yeah I was tired. My pecs and tris are still sore so I’m taking today off until they’re healed, but oddly my legs are already better. I guess cardio is a quicker heal for me? Or maybe my legs are just in better shape than my upper body… I KNOW that is the case, because I have frickin’ awesome quads and calves but not an upper body to match. I think that’s the fat boy syndrome (vs. the mirror-workout-syndrome). Lol.

I have had to deal with some weight setbacks but I am now making consciously good choices each day. Yesterday I opened up a chocolate bar and then took one bite and then realized what I was doing… and then I threw it away… and I gave the other dozen or so in the box to a friend. I don’t know why the ball and chain thought candy bars would be a good idea for either of us.

 I am starting to wonder if I’m a victim of hypothyroidism. I have almost every symptom, from low energy to low motivation, difficulty focusing mentally at times (almost adult ADD-style), obstructive sleep apnea, low sex drive, my muscles take a long time to heal, it’s hard to stand on my feet, I am having a hard time losing fat (even keeping my cals like 500-800 under maintenance and/or keeping macronutrient ratios roughly correct), constantly feeling cold in certain parts of my body, and my blood pressure is always on the hypertension side. I mean, I don’t really know if I have it, but I’m going to make a Dr. appt and figure it out. If it’s not that, maybe I’m low on test.

I also had a discussion last night with my partner about weight gain. It’s funny that we’ve both gained weight but I’ve gained about 30% more and it’s not alarming to him. I asked him how his choices or feelings for me would be different if he was 50 pounds lighter but I was still 260 (80lbs overweight), and he said that he wouldn’t let me cheat as much as I do or miss workouts. I found that so interesting because it doesn’t seem to make sense that HIS health would dictate how concerned he is with MY health… as if we’re both unhealthy and making a bad choice, then it’s okay. Actually it ended up making me very angry and I had to get off of the subject so that I didn’t say anything mean and hurt him.

Later today is grocery day. I’m going to swap out the low-protein oatmeal or high-carb poptart breakfasts I’ve been having for a protein bar. I have a hard enough time making myself eat in mornings, plus I always oversleep, so I need something fast. And I miss tuna so I think I’m going to do the tuna lunch thing for a couple weeks.

I just ate two huge vending machine pastries that a friend gave me without realizing it. Each one is 450-ish calories. I was doing so good the last few days, too. That will have to be my cheat. No more cheats for a few days. Isn’t 900 calories almost 1/3 of a pound of potential fat?! I respect myself more than to put this crap into my body. Tonight, lean dinner and workout is upper body. It’s my "Friday," plus the ball and chain is on vacation, so I’m not going to want to come work out, but I’m going to anyway–for myself!!

I’m done having my weak point in my fitness be psychological. So from now on I’ll be writing daily BodyBlog entries with progress, issues, self-affirmations, and just generally how I’m feeling. This is a commitment to myself, and I know that it will help me.

I haven’t worked out in at least a week, but that’s in the past. I am getting back on the wagon… and as someone said here on BodySpace, "If I fall off the wagon 1,000 times, then I’m going to get back on the wagon 1,001 times." I know I’ll make progress and I know that I just have to keep doing it, day in and day out, making some sacrifices for my own health, progress, well-being, and happiness. I can do this.

Today I’m probably going to have to eat out with friends, but I’m going to force myself to drink water, make sure I don’t overdo the carbs, and I get something with lean non-fried chicken. I’m also going out probably, but I’m going to force myself to go to the gym tonight sometime between 10 and 11pm.

Note to self: don’t avoid the scale!

I just stepped on it (after drinking like a liter of water even), and I’m at 231.6. A couple of weeks ago I found that I was over 252lbs, so the other day I just bit the bullet and updated my weight progress here with that. I was with a friend at the gym and we were weighing ourselves–it was so embarrassing to have to bump the old-school scale up to 250 and admit defeat. But now I’m doing better than I was a year ago. This is awesome–I’ve got to keep up the strict protein diet and get into the gym even more now. I feel I’m on a roll.

I know that I don’t want to necessarily track my progress via the scale–that would be misleading over time–but right now I’m trying to do an extreme cut for health reasons and to start out my first bulk RIGHT, so the scale works until I find somebody who can teach me how to use calipers right. Ultimately my strength has been retained or continued to increase on everything, and with a conservative estimate, I figure I’ve lost at least 10lbs of fat (if not 15-20) quickly. It won’t continue this fast, but I’ll enjoy this feeling while it lasts. My goal is only 1-2lbs/week.

Thanks to all my new BodySpace friends. Your guys’ words on your blogs and comments and friend-responses and even your profile progress all really have me more psyched than ANY workout partner or ANY book/mag has ever gotten me. I know I can get where I want to be. This is way better than anything I’ve done before…

Hey everyone. First bodyblog, so I figured I’d lay out the general info as a starting point.

Personal stuff: I’m 22, live in Omaha, NE, on-and-off pursuing my bachelors in a number of things, live with the "old ball and chain" (lol), and I’m kind of a geek (gadgets/technology/Macs/graphics/web design).

Work: Right now I’m working in Security as a Security Officer manning a dock area at one of the largest banks in the state. Before that, I was a Bike Patrol Officer for the same company. Before this, though, I had mainly worked in consultative retail sales selling U.S. Cellular, Nextel, Sprint, and Qwest (at different times).

Body goals: I really have no idea what my bf% is, but it’s scary I’m sure. Right now I’m in the 240s range in terms of weight, with a 38-40" waist, and basically I’m a big saggy fatass. I used to be a lot bigger (60+ pounds bigger), and then I lost it and I’ve regained half of what I lost, so it definitely looks even worse than before even with the muscle I’ve added. I hate what I see when I take my shirt off because all I can see is my laziness and failure over the past 2 years to resist temptation (temptation to eat bad crap, and to avoid working out). SOOOOOOooo… my goals are to lose the bodyfat and get down to 15-20% so that I can start a bulk. This massive cut cycle (lose 60lbs) is going to take about 30-40 weeks to do it healthy while not losing muscle. After that, I’ll do a clean bulk on an extended basis. I like the off-season bodybuilder look a lot more than the insanely-ripped look, and I know my body type (endomorph) would have to struggle intensely to stay low bodyfat. So I’m cool with that. I have a certain shape in mind in terms of proportion, but I’ll never stop with size. The bigger the better. That said, I know how slow results come and I’m prepared to put in time at the gym and enjoy it almost every day for the rest of my life. It’s a good thing. Speaking of which…

Training: I have a gym at my work that is okay, but no 24 Hour Fitness. The free weights are there but there aren’t many, and there are no barbells. There’s also no jacuzzi which was always my treat to myself at 24. I’m planning on using this gym (plus the free weights I have at home and the crappy gym at my apartment if necessary) just long enough to save up for a prepaid 3-year membership to 24 Hour Fitness again. I loved that place. Besides, sacrifices are necessary and the MOST IMPORTANT PART of getting to my goals is the weights, of which I have plenty.

So, right now I have done the full body thing two days a week at the behest of my friend who is ICSC (or something) certified, and boring cardio, and I’ve now stopped because I hated it, and I’m back on a 3-day split of (1) back/biceps/neck, (2) legs/traps/abs, and (3) tris/chest/shoulders. I’m still feeling out exactly what exercises I want to do in what order, and I’ve tried a few arrangements. Maybe I’ll figure it out, or maybe it’ll just be what I feel like that day until exhaustion. I’ll post more in the future about that. After weights, I currently do 5 minutes of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) cardio, with 1 minute intervals of brisk walk and medium jog. On days off I’ll try to keep active by doing some bicycling or 5-10 minutes of HIIT. My goal is to work up to 6 days a week active (3-5 days weights with minimal cardio, 1-3 days cardio activity).

Nutrition: I’ve gained most of my fat by ignoring what I eat and how much, as well as the irregular schedule in which I eat it; it doesn’t help being in a relationship with someone that LOVES to eat out at fatty restaurants! I’m focusing now on tracking my carbs/fats/proteins, and getting to the obviously important 1g protein per pound of bodyweight OR MORE, and also eating every 3 waking hours or less. I’m using protein sources like lean skinless boneless chicken breasts, water-packed tuna, ground lean turkey breast, milk, eggs, whey protein shakes, Ready-To-Drink soy/whey protein shakes, whey protein bars, and occasionally lean red meats like good steaks. I’m trying to work up from 64oz of water per day to 128oz of water per day.

Supplements: Besides food-supplements to help with macronutrient ratios (like whey protein shakes/RTDs/bars), I also take two multivitamins (Centrum chewables), creatine monohydrate (with Gatorade POWDER drink), and pre-workout I take a nitric oxide drink with some caffiene and more creatine monohydrate (a No-xplode knockoff I got from Wal-Mart, planning on buying a better one on the bb.com store in a couple weeks). I like the NO pump and I feel my workouts getting easier to keep up with the creatine intake. Maybe once I cut my bodyfat really low and have a good couple of long bulking cycles (this is like 2+ years from now), I’ll think about supplementing prohormones or something. I’m not opposed to it if it doesn’t threaten my health much… but I know I need to be a lot more of an expert than I am now and have plateaued before resorting to anything like that. Hard work and dedication will take me very far, first.

That’s it! Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the inspiration guys. I’m gonna take some pics in the next week and put them up, and as embarrassing as they will be… I don’t care, I’m the one making progress and proving myself in the next coming weeks, months, and years. I’ll look back one day and once again say to myself, "WOW. I have come a long way." Seeya BodySpace!

- Brad (freeproblems)