flabTOOfab's BodyBlog

Experiencing My First Show (from the audience)

flabTOOfab — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:59:14 +0000

I finally experienced my first figure/bodybuilding show. It was a great inspiration. There were a few guest posers that really livened it up a lot. My trainer accompanied me and gave me pointers here and there. In figure 1st place short class was one of his clients, although overall kicked her butt. I’m pretty sure the girl that took overall was trained by an IFBB female bodybuilder; I’ve seen them training together at the gym. That’s probably a good indication. I’m wondering if the level of experience with trainers put her so much ahead of the others, or if it had more to do with other factors. She was no doubt in my mind going to win, and that’s from an inexperienced view - that’s how good she looked.

The Pro female bodybuilder’s pose routines were so fun to watch. I was hungry for more. Then there was a short heart felt speech to keep me motivated for the next few months. Very awesome to finally witness.

Simplicity Unveiled - Leptin and Fat Loss

flabTOOfab — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 02:27:53 +0000

My curiousity peaked when my trainer reviewed my log and prescribed me a cheat meal once a week. After pushing back my freak outs I was surprised to find I still lost over 1.5 lbs that week. In my mind I can understand calorie cycling, being a much healthier option for "stoking the metabolism".

So the key is leptin. But why, how, huh? These articles I found on BB’s site are very informative and technical, but there are some interesting studies he has mentioned that have my attention. It has me left wondering if a cheat meal once a week is as good as carb or calorie cycling. Leaving me to consider the two sides of this concerning the fact that leptin levels were raised the most after 8-12 hours of refeed, but the cheat meal helps in a psychological aspect. For those interested I’ve linked these articles part 1 - 3 here.

Part 1 - http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/berardi55.htm

Part 2 - http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/berardi58.htm

Part 3 - http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/berardi61.htm

Then there is the ever more confusing article, To Cheat or Not to Cheat - http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/berardi14.htm

Once again, it seems to boil down to individuality and expermintation. The "cheat meals" are obviously not making me gain fat as this article says they will since I’m overweight. Articles were dated 2004, maybe that has something to do with the information.

Anywho… Friday will mark my 2 week cheat meal experience. So far, I’m down 1.6 lbs and counting.

60lb Milestone!

flabTOOfab — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 22:35:10 +0000

My new trainer has made a cheat meal once a week mandatory. I really had trouble accepting this would HELP and not hinder my efforts. Today was my official weigh in and I was pleasanty surprised to see my weight was down by 1.6 lbs! After so many years of thinking consitancy my brain is having a little difficulty grasping that this may actually work. TRUST… so hard for me.

SO, on top of losing 1.6 lbs, even with a cheat meal, I also hit a pretty big milestone today. I’ve gone from 247 lbs to 187 this morning! That’s a total of 60lbs gone forever!!! I’m left wondering if I have actually lost more fat since I KNOW I have put on a lot of muscle. I weigh almost 15 lbs MORE than my lowest from eariler years, yet I’m wearing the same size pants, 12, and looking even better now than I did then. I’m also noticing a lot more wonderful physcial changes even though I weigh more. Gotta LOVE me some muscle!

My new goal weight is 165 and to be assessed as I go. That leaves me, at this point, 22lbs from goal. I’ve come so far it’s inevitable I WILL make it to goal.

So Close, but yet So Far Away

flabTOOfab — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:35:34 +0000

If I could put my mood icon up it would be one of frustration. It seems no matter what I try my weight loss is so freakin’ slow. So sick of it. Just venting - at this rate it seems like goal will NEVER get here. So close, but yet so far away.

Fortunately, I KNOW there are no other options but to keep plugging away.

What Body Type am I? Mesomorph, phuckifiknow?

flabTOOfab — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:28:27 +0000

Body Types: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/cynthia9.htm

Body Type Quiz: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/becker3.htm

Here’s the results to my test: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/becker.php?Q1=2&Q2=1&Q3=2&Q4=2&Q5=2&Q6=3&Q7=2&Q8=2&Q9=2&Q10=1&Q11=2&Q12=2

I’m more of a mesomorph. If you give me the description I could have told you that without the quiz. This is an excerpt from a shape fit article found here… http://www.shapefit.com/fitness-figure-competitions-body-types.html

Mesomorph - you need to work on looking tall and elongated, balance and symmetry may come easy but so does fat if you slack off diet and training. Strength comes easy for you. You may have some or all of these characteristics. These are ideal for non tested shows such as NPC.

Short
Big to medium Boned
Easy gainer for both fat and/or muscle
Quick to respond to exercise and diet
Thick
Tends to already have hourglass type shape even when overweight
Naturally physically strong
Full plump muscle bellies
Naturally symmetrical and balanced
Tend to need attention to postural work

By Linda Cusmano

I guess this more explains my ability to gain muscle so easily and retain it as I lose fat. I think I might also being seeing why my diet needs to be tuned in so precisely to lose.

Anyway… thought I’d share.

Women’s Body Building? For ME???

flabTOOfab — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 23:37:31 +0000

I was totally taken back today when my cousin, who has competed in figure, told me that I might fit better in body building than figure one day. She told me that body building doesn’t have to be “manly”, it can be feminine. I guess I’m not really open to the idea of body building yet. I mean, hell, I still have a ways before I even think about figure. I need to familiarize myself more with the sport as well. I still have yet to attend a show. I’m hoping to do so in a few weeks. Am I “big”? As in “too” muscular??

Chapter….. Ah hell, I’ve lost track!

flabTOOfab — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:11:47 +0000

I have to be honest with myself here and I guess that’s another lesson I’m being taught. I realize that when life throws something my way I tend to get in the way and interfere instead of letting things unfold naturally - so to speak.

For instance, with the situation of me losing my trainer. I’m so busy fighting it I can’t see that there is another trainer that might possibly be better for me, and paticularly my goals. Even as I type that I’m feeling guilty for feeling this and trying to suppress it.

At the same time, if I hadn’t have been fighting this so much would I have ever found that out? Who knows. But I’m starting to see so much about myself and things I need to admit to and work on.

Here’s the cool thing. As far as I’ve come, I can look back and see this journey unfolding in a way I never would have suspected. After all, I just wanted to lose some weight. It’s magical in a way. Being able to look back shows me that I’m still in the middle of the journey and more great things are sure to come my way. Knowing this is how I keep the spark lit.

Life… BRING IT ON!

I’m Listening

flabTOOfab — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:32:09 +0000

Posted from August 4th
Bad news for me tonight. James is no longer with the gym. I’m totally pissed off because they have me by the balls on my contract - that I haven’t even used ANY of my sessions from yet. I feel like crying. I know this is tearing James up because he is passionate about what he does and all his clients, and I kind of know the situation from what he’s told me in the past. I believe they fired him because he is one that will not put up with the crap they give him, nor does he say he agrees with something when he doesn’t. I noticed the gym hiring a TON of new trainers - young. I think they made their decision based on the fact James is opinionated and those 19 and 20 year olds don’t talk back.I can almost see some really good things coming out of this already, not only for myself, but for James as well. He’s not the type that needs a boss, he NEEDS to be the boss! Several of us (James’ clients) are gathering to see if we can force a refund for the simple fact we don’t want another trainer - we’ve SEEN the other trainers. I won’t waste my time with them, especially after having James take me to a whole new level.In the meantime we’ll see if I’ve learned anything while working with him and retained anything from RC teaching me. Who knows, I might surprise myself (wouldn’t be the first time). He said he would make me a routine if I needed it and possibly meet to train once a week until Sept. 6th. I’m thinking I’ll give him his time to regroup and test myself.The significance of Sept. 6th is that he’ll be able to train at a gym right here in my small town. One of his friends is opening up a gym. CLOSE! Bonus - but still pissed.

Some other things I can see from all this. There is so much going on within me it’s overwhelming at times. I keep remembering that God only gives us what we can handle. Nothing is bad, I just feel like I’m being dealt the most I can possibly deal with at one time as far as my growth is concerned. I’m flirting with the edge, I feel.

___________________________________________

(posted from August 5th)
Man what a wild day for emotions, but anymore what day isn’t an emotional roller coaster for me. I almost skipped my workout, although I did skip my cardio. I told myself I can start the self pitty s*** now or get over it and take what life is dealing me and find what I’m supposed to learn. So of course I chose self-pitty - HA! NOT!!!

After figuring more out about this hip/back problem, I’ve had going on a year now in Sept. (ughhh), I decided I wanted to target this area more, since I’M in charge at the moment and trying my best to trust myself. OH… and learning from my… MISTAKES!

45 min. (I think - forgot to look at exact time)

3 supersets
20/15/15 reps fitball wall squats w/ combination bicep curl and hammer curl (10lbs/15lbs/15lbs)
20/20/20 reps Split Squats (10lbs/15lbs/15lbs)
25/25/25 reps lying hamstring curls (25lbs/35/lbs/45lbs)

3 supersets
20 reps bulgarian squat (body wieght)
50 reps crunches

My butt is quivering

I learned tonight I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. Guess I’ll go add that to my list of strengths. That makes 7 for my list.

Wonder what tomorrow has in store for me…

___________________________________________

Then RC posts on the daily motivator thread today (August 6th), as if speaking directly to me, but I’ve somehow already told myself…

“Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days… What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749-1832, Poet, Novelist and Scientist

Yes, yes, yes, I hear you LOUD and CLEAR. What a change I’ve made within myself and the continued changes are sometimes overwhelming, like I’m wondering when I get a day or two just to soak it up. Maybe today…

So freakin’ drained and confusing feelings

flabTOOfab — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:12:30 +0000

Ughhh…. I had no sleep last night. Had some good discussion with my son - way overdue - but at the cost of some good rest.

I had my online trainer tell me when I get to goal my legs have "perfect" written all over them. Wow, why am I embarassed by that comment? Flattered, but embarassed. When thanking him for the compliment he added "those legs are gonna turn some heads and win some figure contests". It’s a warm and fuzzy thought, but something inside me still doesn’t want to accept compliments like this. I’m having trouble figuring that one out.

Today I have to pull off my core workout. NOT looking forward to it. Did I mention, I’m SO freakin’ drained!!!?

Okay just rambling now.
Tonight’s Core:
4 supersets
lying leg raises 20 reps
Fit ball reach-up crunches 25 reps
supermans 25 reps

4 supersets
1 min. planks
v-ups 30 reps
weighted fit ball back extensions 20 reps

New PR with a New Promise to Myself

flabTOOfab — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:40:28 +0000

If anything could go wrong it did the week following and the day of my 5k. I tried my best not to whine about all my aches and fatigue I was feeling. Not to mention the painful migraines - 4 in one week - that zap the life out of you, like the pain isn’t enough.

My time goals were a verbal 00:35.30 and a verbal whisper goal of 00:34.30 and a secret goal of 00:34.00 flat. I’m not sure I was perpared for everything that took place.

One hour before the start of the race, literally on my way out the door, my migraine hit, instantly. I was devastated and feeling like any chances of this race being great were hopeless. My bargaining with God began as I fought back the tears. All I wanted to do was race this race, that’s it! Okay, so I really wanted that whisper goal of 00:34.00.

Temps. read 92 when we arrived, 30 min. before starting gun. At this point I had bargained with God, if he could raise the temp to 100 and no breeze, but take the migraine - PLEASE!

I really didn’t mentally gear up for this race just to quit. I told myself 1 of 3 things will happen. 1.) I will get better as I run. 2.) Things will stay the same and I will run my best and endure the pain for 35 min. or 3.) It will get worse and I’ll have to stop at one of the stations for assistance back to the finish. There’s no reason to quit yet.

Gun starts, temps remain and no breeze. My migraine eases up and I’m thankful but surprised.

I passed the water stop because there was a line waiting for a cup. I didn’t want to mess up any chance of having that goal over a tiny cup of water that was going to go over my head and not in my mouth. I powered up the only real hill in the race which seemed to never end. I kept knocking out negative comments as I ran, telling myself the finish was soooo close! Plus, I get a nice long downhill when I hit the top.

As the top of the hill approached I let gravity take over and sped down the hill. I caught up to my husband and stole his water. Most went on my head some in my mouth. I passed under the bridges and that’s when I realized what the real meaning of NO BREEZE was. I pushed down the negative thoughts once again.

With about 1 mile left I got a stitch in my side. I brought James’ (my PT) words of wisdom into play, "we can handle cramps", as he smiles for me to work through them.

I finished HARD! I felt wonderful, I felt great! I felt like I was racing again. All the pain and discomfort subsided as I kept speeding up for the finish line. I had the perfect rhythm with my hands pumping, back straight, chest out - running TALL! It felt GREAT!

I thought I would throw up and pass out at the finish. Water was good, on my head, then as a beverage. Then came this wonderful breeze sent straight from God, as if to say "well done".

TIME 00:31.00 - are you freakin’ kidding me!?!?!? I wanna cry.

In April of 2007 I started running again since I was a teen. I ran my first 5k race at the Memorial. I remember at the time 00:51.00 was a great time for my 5k - that’s all I’d been able to pull off up to then. I got a time of 00:46.20. I was proud of that time. I weighed over 230 lbs. Every race I have done I have improved. And tonight I reminded myself, even when the scale is not moving I am always making progress. There is always room for more growth, always.

Tonight was a weird night, maybe just because I’m emotional and tired. On a night where everything went wrong and I should have had a horrible race report for you, I have just the opposite. I’m happy and feel like I might shed some tears of joy. Look at where I’ve come, I keep reminding myself. I can’t believe it at times. I just don’t feel like this is ME. I’ve become someone I never was but always wanted to be, and I grow daily. This me is someone I can be proud of and not hide. No more hiding. That feels real good to say.

I walked away with a new promise to myself tonight as well. I’m becoming more aware of the reality of how my “small” changes are impacting the way I live the rest of my life. At the beginning of the night they announced the winners from last year. The one that really stood out the most was the 70 yr. old woman who had a time of 29:14 for the 5k. Then I remembered my mom saying she was too old to ride those go-carts at my daughter’s birthday. I told her I would NEVER be too old to do anything. That statement I made to her became a promise to myself last night.

Now it’s back to my 1/2 marathon training - Lord help me!