FiveFeetofFury’s BodyBlog

After a few interesting months of moving across the country, ending a relationship and such, I am back on the fitness track.  I’ve gained a couple pounds but I’m not too concerned about my weight so much anymore.  I feel more toned and leaner and my clothes are even loser than they were before.  I’m planning on a Vegas trip at the beginning of September and working towards a hot body to bring along .

So my legs feel like they are of the consistency of jelly.  Not as in the ’squishy, fatty’ kind of jelly, but very sore and weak type. Ha.  I’ve never hit the weights so hard in my life as I have this week.  My whole body feels pretty sore, but it’s a good sore, for sure.  Even my armpit is tender, that may sound a little weird, but really, what the heck muscle is that?  Anyway, I must be doing something right, because I’m down 2 pounds this week already.  It’s probably water weight or the like, but I’ll take it.  Once this soreness wears off, I think I’ll feel that much lighter and leaner.  Right now, I actually feel heavier because of the pain.

I must mention that it’s pretty weird to expose myself in such a public forum as BB.com.  I mean it’s the internet, with creeps, stalkers, and the like .  I didn’t join to be an exhibitionist or attract attention; BB.com just offered some really good tools to track my progress.  So far though, the people at BodySpace have proven to be a very supportive and the information here, very valuable.  So, thank you to those who have left me a comment or given me words of encouragement, it is appreciated.

I was never a popular kid.  In middle school I was teased for my weight, my ethnicity, my acne, and my grades.  I was a nerd and painfully shy.  It wasn’t until this teasing that I even realized I was that much ‘different’ than everyone else.  Nothing like kids pulling back their eyes in mimicry to OPEN mine.  I also have an identical twin sister (who I adore, of course), which, though may sound cute, made us stick out even more.  We stuck together and never really made friends, we retreated to our academic success as a means to distract ourselves.

High School was even worse.  My High School was probably 97% white, it was painfully suburban and conservative.  I always had crushes on the popular jocks who were the "All-American" type, as such, they always went out with the type of girls completely opposite of me: tall, blonde, athletic/skinny.  I developed a complex that took me a long time to shake; one that is shameful to me even now; Asian was not attractive, was not desired, was not what I wanted to be.  I longed to be white.

I graduated from High School early in 2001, I wanted to get the hell out, and moved to Las Vegas to start college.  Though I only spent a semester there, I attracted the attention of guys, which was totally alien to me.  Of course, I was still shy and a recluse so none of the attention went anywhere, although slowly, I was opened up to the idea that there were actually men who would be attracted to me.

Fast forward a few years.  I had tried Atkins in 2003, and had success, I dropped to 114 pounds from 135, though I loved my fruit and bread and eventually gained it all back.  It wasn’t until January of 2007 that I joined a gym and started to work off the weight again.  It was a bumpy year, but I ended it at about 115 pounds.  Now, it’s 2008 and I want to reshape my body totally.  I recently discovered bodybuilding.com’s supersite and specifically, the transformation section.  I was in total awe of these women.  They were all so motivated, beautiful and fit!  I decided just then that I wanted to be one of them.  I want to not just lose weight, but be toned and be in the best shape that I’ve ever been in.  For the record, I love being Asian now and think I’m pretty hot stuff (hence the FiveFeetofFury tag ).  I am more confident in myself than I have ever been, but I want to push myself harder.  Though I want to prove to myself that I can do this, it would be a lie to say that thats all that motivates me; I would love to go back to a high school reunion and show all those who teased and rejected me, just how far I’ve come.

Updates will be forthcoming!

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