I looked back at my last blog and realized that it has been 13 days since I last posted a blog entry.  That is a loooooong time for me to go without writing something.  I’m chalking it up to the craziness of the holidays!

I probably won’t get to spend as much time as normal here until after the New Year, but I’m going to try to do better than every 13 days… geesh!

Thanksgiving was awesome!  I took a tiny amount of everything and still managed to eat waaaay too much.  But I stayed away from most of the desserts.  Just had a few bites of my favorites.  I still managed to gain 4 pounds over Thanksgiving week, it doesn’t take much, does it?!  Now that I’m eating better I have lost 2 of the 4 pounds.  And the other 2 will come off quickly, I’m sure. 

I have been keeping up with my workouts, which has helped with keeping the weight and overeating in check.  But yesterday when I was working out with my co-worker, she said something I found interesting.  She said that she wasn’t going to worry about losing weight until after New Years.  And the funny thing is, that’s exactly what my mentality has been in the past.  Go crazy with eating until after New Years.  But this year I decided to eat as clean as I can up until Thanksgiving and have that day and the day after to go crazy and then start eating good again until Christmas, and right after Christmas start eating clean again.  That way, I’m only dealing with a couple of pounds instead of 10 or more. 

I know there are some people who can eat clean even through the holidays, but I truly enjoy pumpkin pie, stuffing, and fresh rolls.  So I ate them, but ate small, small, small portions of them.  I actually ate better Thanksgiving day than I did the day after .  I always get up early and go shopping on Black Friday, and I forgot to take food with me (dumb, dumb, dumb), so by the time I got home I was starving and completely pigged out.  Then felt like crap.  Lesson learned. (I hope).

Anyway, just wanted to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all of my awesome friends here and let you know that I am still getting my workouts in and my eating has been pretty good. 

I’ve been frustrated because it seemed that the bodyfat just wasn’t coming down. I kept hovering between 21.6% and 22.6% (grrrrrrrr).  Yesterday was the first time that it registered at 21% (all four times I tested… in a row… one after the other…. yep, obsessed!!).  But I happily jumped on the bb.com site and changed the bodyfat percentage . 

This morning I decided to get my bodyfat tested at the gym with calipers.  I was totally expecting it to come out 21% since it is usually right on target with my handheld tester.  So imagine my shock when he told me that it was 20.2%.  Okay, I know it’s not that much of a difference, but it was to me since I have been close to the 22% level for way too long.  So what did I do???  I made him do it again.   Hey, I had to be sure! And it came out exactly the same the second time. 

Needless to say, I am a happy camper today.  Isn’t it funny how something so small as a 0.8% drop in bodyfat can have such a big impact on my attitude and outlook?!  It’s the little things in life. 

I had blogged before about setting mini-goals over the holiday season, since this is the time of year that I typically gain about 10 pounds.  I didn’t want my goals to be too lofty, so I set very small goals to try to maintain my weight and bodyfat levels and work really hard to lower them slowly.  Quite the departure from years past when I was happy if I managed to keep the weight gain to ten pounds.  So the first mini-goal was to get down to 21%, and I bypassed that goal and went right to the second goal of getting the bodyfat down to 20%.  So, the next goal will be 19%.  All right goal…. heeeeere I come!!

But we didn’t just go see the Packers vs. the Cowboys.  Nope, it was soooooo much better than that.  We were actually chosen to be a part of the flag ceremony.  This is where you are part of a group of people who are out on the field and unfurl the football stadium sized American Flag during the singing of the national anthem. 

So we were actually on the field… WITH THE PLAYERS!!!!!  OMG, I can’t even begin to describe what a surreal experience it was.  It was so amazing!  And let me tell you, those players are HUGE up close! lol   When we walked out onto the field, the stadium was packed and everyone started cheering for us.  When we had the flag unfurled we had to make it "wave" during the part of the song where it says "O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave", and the crowd when crazy. 

And the whole time we were out on the field there were Packers and Cowboys right out there with us practicing.  It was an incredible, once in a lifetime experience that I will treasure!

And the Packers winning just made the experience that much sweeter!!!

Okay… on to to fitness related stuff…

The hubby was awesome and actually got his workouts in on Saturday and Sunday… I was not awesome and didn’t get mine done .  BUT, I did eat pretty well, even at the Packer game.  Oh, okay… I did have a couple of beers (sorry Herm), but how can you go to a Packer game (or any football game) and not have a beer?! (if you drink beer).  But other than the two beers, we ate very well.  Okay, mostly well. lol

Today, I was back on track and got my workout done.  I am trying to convince the hubby to take a week off to let his muscles have a much needed break.  He hasn’t taken time off from weightlifting in way too long.  And his body needs the recovery.  He took today off, and now let’s see if he can last the week!!

I’m still coming to terms with the shock of finding out I have a half-sister (and with the way I found out about it).  Fate is funny… I went looking to find out information about my uncle who I hadn’t seen since I was a small child, and instead found a sister I never knew about.  The hardest part is realizing that we are the same age, which means my dad cheated on my mom.  It makes me wonder if there are others out there.  Actually, I do have three half-sisters from my biological father and the woman he married after my mom.  But I don’t talk to them.  I also have an older brother and younger sister (full blood siblings).  My parents didn’t divorce until my younger sister was born.  Honestly, it shouldn’t surprised me that he was unfaithful to my mom.  That’s the kind of person he is and was.  He would never get "father of the year", that’s for sure!  Anyway, I’ve done about all I can do to find her.  It’s difficult because on the genealogy site she used my father’s last name as hers, and I can’t find anyone by that name in my search.  It doesn’t make sense for that to be her real last name if she was adopted.  I think she did it because she was looking for family members with that last name.  Now it is just a waiting game.  If we are meant to contact each other we will.  She posted the query back in 2002 but it showed she had visited that site in the last 6 months, so she’s obviously still looking.  I have decided that I’m not going to tell my mom or siblings about this until I find out more.  Even though my parents have been divorced for a long time, I don’t know if she knows that he was unfaithful and I don’t want to hurt her needlessly.  So, now it’s in fate’s hands.  And I’m okay with that… mostly.  I love puzzles, and you have to admit, this is one doozy of a puzzle! 

On the plus side, my workouts have been great.  I have gotten up early to do fasted state cardio for the last two days (20 minutes HIIT).  And yesterday after my weight workout I did another 40 minutes of steady state cardio.  Today is abs and calves, and if I have time I will do additional cardio afterwards.  As for the eating… I have been doing good, but not great.  The stress of everything has made my cravings come back big time, but I’m managing to keep them pretty well controlled. 

Again, a big THANK YOU for all of the support from all of my wonderful friends!!  You guys are the best!  And my hubby is the bestest!! lol 

This weekend was very shocking for me.  I was trying to find out about a relative that I hadn’t seen since I was a small child.  In searching for information about him I stumbled onto a genealogy site and ran across a post from a woman who was adopted as a child and was trying to find out more about her biological family.  She did mention in her post that she had been in contact with her biological father but he wouldn’t give her information about her past on his side of the family.  She listed her biological fathers name, and the small amount of information she had pertaining to him and his family.  The shocking part of this was reading the information and realizing that this woman’s biological father is the same as mine (same name, grandparents, birth date, place of birth, etc). She is my half sister.  I have no details at all about anything.  But you can imagine how this rocked my world.  It’s not every day that you reach the age of 40 and find out you have a sibling you never knew about.  The second shock was seeing her "profile" name on the site and seeing that it had "69" as part of the name.  I was born in 1969, so if the number in her profile name is her birth year, then we were born in the same year. 

I spent a lot of Friday night and Saturday in shock over finding this information.  I don’t speak with my biological father, so I can’t call him for answers.  I have worked very hard over the last 10 years in hiding myself so that he can’t find me and I am definitely not going to go hunting for him to ask him about any of this.  But I did sign up for the genealogy site and send her my contact information.  I’m not sure if she will receive it or not, since her post was made back in 2002, but I’m hoping she gets it so that we can "talk".  If that doesn’t work, I’m not sure what I will do.  It would be very hard for me to drop it and not pursue it further.  But getting in touch with my biological father is not something I want to do.  Although it would be extremely easy for me to do it, if I chose to.  I am in contact with my aunt (his sister), and we talk via e-mail a lot, but my one condition in keeping in contact with her is that she never tell her brother where I am or how to contact me.  And I have no idea if she knows about this woman or not, so I don’t want to ask her.  I know that we don’t share the same biological mother.  But I don’t want to talk to my mom about this until I know more, especially if this girl and I were born in the same year.  Even though my mom and him are divorced, I know it will be a huge shock for her too.  So my hands are kind of tied.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she contacts me, and I don’t have to worry about other ways to try to find her.

Much of my weekend was taken up researching (with no success to speak of), so my workouts were not very good this weekend.  I did eat very clean this weekend though!  Well, except for having a few too many glasses of red wine on Saturday night!

Your attitude affects everything you do. It affects how others see you and respond to you. It ultimately affects who you become as a person.

Here is an article I read about the "Attitude Ladder"

——————————————–
——————————————————–

Look at the list below and mark which statement best fits you when it comes to trying new things. Find out if you are happy with where you’re at on the attitude latitude scale.

Are you very open to new ways of doing things? Do you like to think about them for a while or do you go forward anyway, but full of doubt? Or do you just go with the attitude of "if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it" and only resort to new things when you absolutely have to?

Obviously you’ll be more relaxed, and therefore higher up the latitude scale, in some things than others. But in general, where on the scale do you fit? Note where you fit at present. Are you satisfied with that?

If not, next time you have the opportunity to try something new, or to do something you haven’t done before, try for the next item UP the scale. Consciously say it to yourself in regard to the situation you are facing.

For example, if, right now, you feel you fit mostly in the "I wish I could" range, your challenge for next time is to be at the "I want to" mark. Once you are comfortable there, move on up to the "I think I might" point and so on, until you are at the top. "I will" and "I did" are both top of the line, class A attitudes.

You deserve them, and your life will improve the closer you get to them.

So take the time NOW, to consider where you are.

You can even have different colored markings for different areas of your life, different types of challenges. And then just keep moving on up till your attitude latitude is right on top of the heap.

Here’s the Attitude ladder you will be climbing, starting at the top and working down:

- I did it!
- I will do it
- I can do it
- I probably can do it
- I might try to do it
- I’ll think about trying to do it
- I do want to do it
- I wish I could, but I’m not sure I can do it
- I don’t know how to do it
- I can’t do it
- I won’t try because I know I can’t do it

——————————————–
————————————————————————————

Where do you fit right now? Remember, attitude is everything.

When you say to yourself "I can’t", in any form, you are programming yourself for defeat. The more often you think it, or say it, to yourself the more you believe it.

Give things a positive twist, say to yourself… "I will do it!" or "I will do it with the help of ‘X’ and/or ‘Y’". The ‘X’ and/or ‘Y’  could be a person/people, but it could also be strategies, tools, courses, whatever you need to arrive at your desired destination.

The latitude of your attitude determines your chance of success. You can do it. You just have to believe it and keep a positive attitude towards your goals.

Now, go climb that ladder!!

Persistence is enjoying the journey that lies between where you are now and where you are going. Don’t wait for tomorrow to enjoy the rewards that you hope for. Instead, enjoy today the person you’re becoming and the talents that you have. 

Persistence is never giving up, never giving up, never giving up! It is always too soon to quit.

Persistence is going to the place where you failed before to try again.

Persistence means not dwelling on what others think.  Persistence means that you don’t do anything for others’ approval. 

Without persistence your dreams are an illusion.

Persistent people face the jungles of life with the heart of a lion. 

Persistence means continuing to work hard when others have gone home.   

Persistence is finishing what you have started. It is starting strong and finishing strong. 

Persistence is acting with a sense of urgency, knowing that tomorrow is too late. 

Because it is fall/winter and I am fighting against my body’s imperative that I put on fat for insulation for the winter, I have decided that I need to readjust my goals slightly.  I’m still going to be shooting to lower my bodyfat, but I’m going to go with smaller increments for now.  As of this morning my bodyfat percentage was 21.6.  So the first goal is to get below 21%.  Once I hit that target, I will aim for 20%, then 19%, etc.  I think/hope that by changing my focus a bit, it will help me to not feel like such a failure when I see slow progress in the bodyfat dropping.  In the spring, it is much easier for me to drop bodyfat quickly, so my goals will be more lofty once we get past Jan/Feb. 

Typically in the winter months I put on about 10 pounds (insulation, don’cha know! lol).  So another goal is to not put on any weight over the holidays.  Right now my weight is fluctuating from 125 - 128 pounds.  Considering my normal weight used to be 139 - 142 at this time last year I am doing much better this year than last year!  But 139 is unacceptable to me this year (and every year hereafter).  Actually, going above 130 (unless it is pure muscle) is unacceptable to me now.  I try not to focus on scale weight too much, but quite honestly if I am lifting weights and staying consistent with my eating then I shouldn’t have to worry about the scale weight going up.  But if I’m not eating clean, drinking beer, eating sweets/sugar, etc, then watching the scale gets me back on track extremely quickly when I see it creep up the dial.  It’s a mind thing.  But seeing it, is a powerful motivator for me to straighten my act up!

The workouts that JAnthony has me on are super effective.  I can feel new muscle below this layer of bodyfat.  And I will be excited to take progress pictures that show how well they work.  So my muscles can be coy for now, but come spring they better be ready to put out!   C’mon muscles, come out and play!

Halloween was a lot easier than in the past, simply because my kids spent the weekend at their dads so I didn’t have to buy any candy to pass out, which means there’s no candy around to tempt me!  I know it sounds cruel to not buy candy to pass out, but I have really been struggling with sugar cravings lately and it would have been cruel and unusual punishment to myself to have all that yummy candy sitting there tempting me! 

So the hubby and I went out and had a really nice dinner.  I ended up eating fish stuffed with lobster and shrimp…. OMG… heaven!!!! It came with steamed asparagus.  The hubby had shrimp over pureed squash (that was divine too).  So it was a very nice dinner and pretty good for us.  It would have been better if we hadn’t had the bottle of wine, but having a nice bottle of wine with my hubby is something I look forward to!

What I have noticed is that I am finally getting my cravings under control (with a few stumbles along the way), but I still need to work on only having a glass of wine once a week.  Right now, I’m having a glass of wine or a bottle of beer (or two) a few times a week.  Usually while watching sports with the hubby or when we go out to dinner on the weekend.  But even without the sports or dinner, I am drinking wine too many nights for the week.  So the sugar cravings are mostly under control, now I need to get the wine down to a glass or two one time per week.  That’s my next goal.  [sigh]

Bodyfat and weight are staying the same (not going up, but not coming down either).  But I’m seeing some increases in strength, which is nice.  I have started my second week on JAnthony’s new weightlifting plan for me, and it is still kicking my butt!  I am really, really liking this new workout!

One thing that I noticed this weekend is that my left bicep is noticeably smaller than my right.  I do mostly dumbbell work on biceps so that I don’t over compensate on my dominate arm when lifting.  So I’m not sure why my left looks so puny.  Any suggestions?!?  It’s really quite irritating!

I always laugh when I see the comment… "Pictures don’t lie".  And I laugh because, maybe they don’t exactly lie, but they are subjective.  It’s a fact that we all have great pictures of ourselves that are flattering and show us in a good light,  and we all have those pictures that we destroy immediately after viewing!  My hubby can attest to the fact that if he takes 50 pictures of me, I might like, maybe, 2 out of those 50.  And guess which ones I’m going to print/post/send… yep, the 2 that I like!  Most of the pictures that are taken I will find something that I don’t like… my expression, the angle, my stomache, my face, the way I’m posing (or not posing), etc.  And it always seems like when I get a great pose, my face looks dorky and when my face looks great, my pose is dumb.  It’s enough to make me growl in frustration (which I do a lot when viewing pictures of yours truly).

My hubby is a trouper when it comes time for progress pictures… he willingly, calmly, and without complaining takes as many pictures as I feel necessary to find 1 or 2 that I like (of course he DOES get to see me posing and adjusting my bathing suit, so that’s probably why he doesn’t complain ). 

Is anyone else like me, or am I just crazy? (okay, don’t answer the "crazy" part cause I already know I am!)