fitclubmom’s BodyBlog

This is not a fitness related post.

This weekend was very shocking for me.  I was trying to find out about a relative that I hadn’t seen since I was a small child.  In searching for information about him I stumbled onto a genealogy site and ran across a post from a woman who was adopted as a child and was trying to find out more about her biological family.  She did mention in her post that she had been in contact with her biological father but he wouldn’t give her information about her past on his side of the family.  She listed her biological fathers name, and the small amount of information she had pertaining to him and his family.  The shocking part of this was reading the information and realizing that this woman’s biological father is the same as mine (same name, grandparents, birth date, place of birth, etc). She is my half sister.  I have no details at all about anything.  But you can imagine how this rocked my world.  It’s not every day that you reach the age of 40 and find out you have a sibling you never knew about.  The second shock was seeing her "profile" name on the site and seeing that it had "69" as part of the name.  I was born in 1969, so if the number in her profile name is her birth year, then we were born in the same year. 

I spent a lot of Friday night and Saturday in shock over finding this information.  I don’t speak with my biological father, so I can’t call him for answers.  I have worked very hard over the last 10 years in hiding myself so that he can’t find me and I am definitely not going to go hunting for him to ask him about any of this.  But I did sign up for the genealogy site and send her my contact information.  I’m not sure if she will receive it or not, since her post was made back in 2002, but I’m hoping she gets it so that we can "talk".  If that doesn’t work, I’m not sure what I will do.  It would be very hard for me to drop it and not pursue it further.  But getting in touch with my biological father is not something I want to do.  Although it would be extremely easy for me to do it, if I chose to.  I am in contact with my aunt (his sister), and we talk via e-mail a lot, but my one condition in keeping in contact with her is that she never tell her brother where I am or how to contact me.  And I have no idea if she knows about this woman or not, so I don’t want to ask her.  I know that we don’t share the same biological mother.  But I don’t want to talk to my mom about this until I know more, especially if this girl and I were born in the same year.  Even though my mom and him are divorced, I know it will be a huge shock for her too.  So my hands are kind of tied.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she contacts me, and I don’t have to worry about other ways to try to find her.

Much of my weekend was taken up researching (with no success to speak of), so my workouts were not very good this weekend.  I did eat very clean this weekend though!  Well, except for having a few too many glasses of red wine on Saturday night!

"Attitude is everything" is a common phrase. But it’s also very true.

Your attitude affects everything you do. It affects how others see you and respond to you. It ultimately affects who you become as a person.

Here is an article I read about the "Attitude Ladder"

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Look at the list below and mark which statement best fits you when it comes to trying new things. Find out if you are happy with where you’re at on the attitude latitude scale.

Are you very open to new ways of doing things? Do you like to think about them for a while or do you go forward anyway, but full of doubt? Or do you just go with the attitude of "if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it" and only resort to new things when you absolutely have to?

Obviously you’ll be more relaxed, and therefore higher up the latitude scale, in some things than others. But in general, where on the scale do you fit? Note where you fit at present. Are you satisfied with that?

If not, next time you have the opportunity to try something new, or to do something you haven’t done before, try for the next item UP the scale. Consciously say it to yourself in regard to the situation you are facing.

For example, if, right now, you feel you fit mostly in the "I wish I could" range, your challenge for next time is to be at the "I want to" mark. Once you are comfortable there, move on up to the "I think I might" point and so on, until you are at the top. "I will" and "I did" are both top of the line, class A attitudes.

You deserve them, and your life will improve the closer you get to them.

So take the time NOW, to consider where you are.

You can even have different colored markings for different areas of your life, different types of challenges. And then just keep moving on up till your attitude latitude is right on top of the heap.

Here’s the Attitude ladder you will be climbing, starting at the top and working down:

- I did it!
- I will do it
- I can do it
- I probably can do it
- I might try to do it
- I’ll think about trying to do it
- I do want to do it
- I wish I could, but I’m not sure I can do it
- I don’t know how to do it
- I can’t do it
- I won’t try because I know I can’t do it

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Where do you fit right now? Remember, attitude is everything.

When you say to yourself "I can’t", in any form, you are programming yourself for defeat. The more often you think it, or say it, to yourself the more you believe it.

Give things a positive twist, say to yourself… "I will do it!" or "I will do it with the help of ‘X’ and/or ‘Y’". The ‘X’ and/or ‘Y’  could be a person/people, but it could also be strategies, tools, courses, whatever you need to arrive at your desired destination.

The latitude of your attitude determines your chance of success. You can do it. You just have to believe it and keep a positive attitude towards your goals.

Now, go climb that ladder!!

Success is a journey, and persistence is one of the keys to success. 

Persistence is enjoying the journey that lies between where you are now and where you are going. Don’t wait for tomorrow to enjoy the rewards that you hope for. Instead, enjoy today the person you’re becoming and the talents that you have. 

Persistence is never giving up, never giving up, never giving up! It is always too soon to quit.

Persistence is going to the place where you failed before to try again.

Persistence means not dwelling on what others think.  Persistence means that you don’t do anything for others’ approval. 

Without persistence your dreams are an illusion.

Persistent people face the jungles of life with the heart of a lion. 

Persistence means continuing to work hard when others have gone home.   

Persistence is finishing what you have started. It is starting strong and finishing strong. 

Persistence is acting with a sense of urgency, knowing that tomorrow is too late. 

… it’s just playing "hard to get".  My muscles are such a tease! 

Because it is fall/winter and I am fighting against my body’s imperative that I put on fat for insulation for the winter, I have decided that I need to readjust my goals slightly.  I’m still going to be shooting to lower my bodyfat, but I’m going to go with smaller increments for now.  As of this morning my bodyfat percentage was 21.6.  So the first goal is to get below 21%.  Once I hit that target, I will aim for 20%, then 19%, etc.  I think/hope that by changing my focus a bit, it will help me to not feel like such a failure when I see slow progress in the bodyfat dropping.  In the spring, it is much easier for me to drop bodyfat quickly, so my goals will be more lofty once we get past Jan/Feb. 

Typically in the winter months I put on about 10 pounds (insulation, don’cha know! lol).  So another goal is to not put on any weight over the holidays.  Right now my weight is fluctuating from 125 - 128 pounds.  Considering my normal weight used to be 139 - 142 at this time last year I am doing much better this year than last year!  But 139 is unacceptable to me this year (and every year hereafter).  Actually, going above 130 (unless it is pure muscle) is unacceptable to me now.  I try not to focus on scale weight too much, but quite honestly if I am lifting weights and staying consistent with my eating then I shouldn’t have to worry about the scale weight going up.  But if I’m not eating clean, drinking beer, eating sweets/sugar, etc, then watching the scale gets me back on track extremely quickly when I see it creep up the dial.  It’s a mind thing.  But seeing it, is a powerful motivator for me to straighten my act up!

The workouts that JAnthony has me on are super effective.  I can feel new muscle below this layer of bodyfat.  And I will be excited to take progress pictures that show how well they work.  So my muscles can be coy for now, but come spring they better be ready to put out!   C’mon muscles, come out and play!

Now, I just need to survive Thanksgiving and Christmas!! 

Halloween was a lot easier than in the past, simply because my kids spent the weekend at their dads so I didn’t have to buy any candy to pass out, which means there’s no candy around to tempt me!  I know it sounds cruel to not buy candy to pass out, but I have really been struggling with sugar cravings lately and it would have been cruel and unusual punishment to myself to have all that yummy candy sitting there tempting me! 

So the hubby and I went out and had a really nice dinner.  I ended up eating fish stuffed with lobster and shrimp…. OMG… heaven!!!! It came with steamed asparagus.  The hubby had shrimp over pureed squash (that was divine too).  So it was a very nice dinner and pretty good for us.  It would have been better if we hadn’t had the bottle of wine, but having a nice bottle of wine with my hubby is something I look forward to!

What I have noticed is that I am finally getting my cravings under control (with a few stumbles along the way), but I still need to work on only having a glass of wine once a week.  Right now, I’m having a glass of wine or a bottle of beer (or two) a few times a week.  Usually while watching sports with the hubby or when we go out to dinner on the weekend.  But even without the sports or dinner, I am drinking wine too many nights for the week.  So the sugar cravings are mostly under control, now I need to get the wine down to a glass or two one time per week.  That’s my next goal.  [sigh]

Bodyfat and weight are staying the same (not going up, but not coming down either).  But I’m seeing some increases in strength, which is nice.  I have started my second week on JAnthony’s new weightlifting plan for me, and it is still kicking my butt!  I am really, really liking this new workout!

One thing that I noticed this weekend is that my left bicep is noticeably smaller than my right.  I do mostly dumbbell work on biceps so that I don’t over compensate on my dominate arm when lifting.  So I’m not sure why my left looks so puny.  Any suggestions?!?  It’s really quite irritating!

Well they damn well better be lying to me!!  

I always laugh when I see the comment… "Pictures don’t lie".  And I laugh because, maybe they don’t exactly lie, but they are subjective.  It’s a fact that we all have great pictures of ourselves that are flattering and show us in a good light,  and we all have those pictures that we destroy immediately after viewing!  My hubby can attest to the fact that if he takes 50 pictures of me, I might like, maybe, 2 out of those 50.  And guess which ones I’m going to print/post/send… yep, the 2 that I like!  Most of the pictures that are taken I will find something that I don’t like… my expression, the angle, my stomache, my face, the way I’m posing (or not posing), etc.  And it always seems like when I get a great pose, my face looks dorky and when my face looks great, my pose is dumb.  It’s enough to make me growl in frustration (which I do a lot when viewing pictures of yours truly).

My hubby is a trouper when it comes time for progress pictures… he willingly, calmly, and without complaining takes as many pictures as I feel necessary to find 1 or 2 that I like (of course he DOES get to see me posing and adjusting my bathing suit, so that’s probably why he doesn’t complain ). 

Is anyone else like me, or am I just crazy? (okay, don’t answer the "crazy" part cause I already know I am!)

Yesterday I blogged about how I wished they would ban sugar in the office like they do cigarettes.  If you want to eat your evil candy… take it outside people!!!  Stop trying to tempt me with it!  So today, I get in and there are flyers posted about a pot luck that I had forgotten about.  And the potluck is titled "Spooktacular Treats".  And it’s located right next to my desk.  That’s right, the potluck is entirely SWEETS… no protein, no veggies, no cheese trays, nothing at all good for me or acceptable for me to eat.    And I swear that they have the hose venting all of those yummy smells right into my workstation.  It’s just not fair!  Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

This isn’t helped by the fact that I have had less than 2 hours of sleep.  My own fault entirely.  I took a new supplement later in the afternoon yesterday before knowing how it would affect me.  I thought that I would have plenty of time before bed for any effects to dissipate.  Apparently not, because I could not get to sleep last night.  I tossed and turned and every time I would doze off I would jerk awake and realize that only 30 minutes had gone by.  So I’m not at my best today.  And the lure of sweets isn’t helping matters.  But so far I have managed to stay away from ALL of the treats.  I’m going to go down to the cafeteria in a bit and get some fruit.  Hopefully that will help keep me away from the treats!

Today was leg day.  This is my second time doing this particular leg workout and it was just as hard today as it was last week.  I need to improve on my box squats, because I don’t like the way I am doing them.  I find myself starting the upward movement as soon as my butt hits the box, and I know that’s not right.  I need to sit down and then start the push from the seated position.  My mind knows what to do, but my body isn’t listening right now.  But I am working on improving the move and getting it right.

Oh, and ALL of the moves were extra difficult because my ab muscles are still so sore from Monday’s workout!  Although I can at least breathe without whimpering like a baby.  But it certaintly made the rest of the workout challenging. 

My eating has been getting better too.  Not as many cravings yesterday or today, but still having those sugar cravings.  And it doesn’t help that there are 4 different people in my area who have candy jars on their desk.   Especially when they are practically begging me to take some.  Grrrrrrrr!  My life would be so much easier if they banned sugar from the workplace like they do smoking. :-0

Yesterday was Abs and Calves.  It has been a long time since I have done rope crunches and I may have overdone it just a wee bit.  I actually thought my abs felt pretty good all day yesterday and even this morning.  I don’t know what happened between my walk down to the gym and the start of my cardio, but DOMS kicked in on my ab muscles in a matter of minutes.  And they did not like being used during the running sequences on HIIT.  Holy mother of mercy!

Thank goodness today was just a cardio day.  I managed to do 20 minutes of HIIT (I was sooooo happy when that was done) and then followed it up with 25 minutes of MISS.  Now I’m just trying to remain as still as possible and not engage my ab muscles in anything.  Do you realize just how much we use our ab muscles?!?!  Breathing… I can tell you with certainty that we use them for breathing! :-)

Oh yeah… I’m sore.  Sore, sore, sore… and then some. 

I started my new weightlifting routine on Friday because I was too impatient to wait until today.  I am loving it!  I can barely move due to DOMS, but since I like that feeling, I can’t complain .  It’s a cool routine that mixes up supersets, with failure sets, and ball work.  I had forgotten just how hard doing the bench press on a swiss ball was.  I made the mistake of going too heavy on my first set.  It’s very hard to maintain proper form while having to stabilize yourself on the ball.  Great stuff!

I was soooo lazy this weekend around the house though.  I was too sore to clean or do laundry (which really needed to be done), so I spent most of the weekend watching sports with the hubby and reading.  It was kind of nice, but now I’m really behind on my normal weekend chores.  I also over ate this weekend.  I don’t think I ate poorly (okay a couple of poor food choices were made), I just ate way too much.  It seemed like I was constantly hungry.  Today isn’t much better.  I’m not even all that hungry, I just seem to want to constantly be munching on something.   Weird.