fit_in_time’s BodyBlog

So, I’m back to work this week, after a 3 week hiatus.  The week went pretty well.  I totally ignored the 500 emails that were in my inbox during my hiatus, and I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that my calendar looked like a blank page for most of the week.

However, the "feeders" started up again!

If you read my "Moment(s) post, you’ll remember that people in my office LOVE to bring me food!  Cakes, cupcakes, candy, etc.  What is it about work that makes folks wanna eat??  What is it about ME that makes them want to feed me???

Before my "change", I would salivate over my delivered goodies, before devouring them without a second thought.  Didn’t matter if I already had a piece of that cake, during the birthday, or going away celebration.  Or, if I wasn’t even hungry.  But THIS TIME is so different! 

Yesterday, one of my office mates brought me a slice of chocolate cake yesterday (she was dead wrong - choco is my FAVE!) First, I looked at the cake as though it was a rattlesnake on my desk.  I should have said "don’t bring me this crap"!  Instead, I accepted the cake - BUT I DID NOT EAT IT!! I packed it up in my lunch bag, which was empty from my plain tuna salad, protein shake, and fruit, and forgot about it.  Then, later on that day, another feeder dropped off a mini mounds candy bar.  (Dark Choco and Coconut…Damn Damn Damn!!!)  This time, I did say "take that back!!" very forcefully."  Of course, she left it.  Inside my lunch bag it went.

You are probably wondering "what did she do with that stuff"?  What else?  I took it home, and hubby ate it!   (Don’t worry, he’s a BIG fitness buff, has worked out for most of his entire life, and is currently averaging about 10 -12% Bodyfat (not bad for 43, I guess). 

I was SO PROUD of myself, I stood up to the feeders!  I know the day is coming where I’ll have to do it again, but I know now that I’m ready to stand and say "Don’t Bring Me This Crap"! 

OK, so I’m really trying to committ to this working out thing!  In my mind, the formula is simple really; Working Out + Eating Right = Smokin Hot Bod by this time next year (if not before…)!! I told y’all that I’ve started and stopped this thing at least 100 times - but I want THIS TIME to be different!  I’ve got it set in my head that its best to work out early in the AM (must’ve read this somewhere…)  So, what I USED to do was set my desired workout time for 5AM.  If I didn’t get up and work out at 5AM, I’d then blow the workout off for the remainder of the day (I guess I was thinking, well, I’ve already messed up, so…).  WRONG! 

This time, I’m saying "OK, I missed 5AM, but I have the WHOLE rest of the day ahead of me (unfortunately, I’m STILL missing those 5AM’s, on occasion…).  My job has a small, but decent fitness center available, but getting there during lunch time is not always a reality for me.  So, as of late, my workouts are now happening in our home gym, in the evenings.

But here’s the deal - I can’t always come straight home, and hit the gym.  Remember, I’m a working Mom, so oftentimes, I head through the door, suit and all, and straight to the kitchen.  There are meals to cook (or heat up, if I prepped during the weekends…). Then there’s homework, QT time with kids and hubby, Homework, prep for next days etc etc.  Now that I’m watching nutrition, I also have MY meals to pack.

So, more often than not, I’m hittin the home gym at 10PM, 10:30PM, and sometimes, later!  This was OK 3 weeks ago (I was on vacation from work), but now, I have to get up early in the AM.  The problem is, if I work out this late, then I guess my metabo is now "fired up", and I can forget about sleep for a couple of hours.  I need to be up btwn 5:30 - 6AM to get us all ready for the day.  So, WHEN THE HECK DO I SLEEP?

They say, the average person needs 7-8 hours of shuteye a night.  I would be happy with 7.  But again, if I work out late, I can’t wind down right away enough, to get some quality sleep.  I’ve tried Tylenol PM (doesn’t always work), and I don’t want to get a sleep aid such as Ambien, so what’s an aspiring fitness girl to do???

Got Sleep???  Any suggestions?  I’m sorely lacking in REM sleep, and I WANT IT BACK! :)

Today, I’ll living the DOMS blues!  My hubby designed a great  total body workout for me (where you work a bunch of muscles at the same time, referred to as "dynamic" workout, or something like that…), which I did for the first time on Wednesday.  I now know why its called "delayed onset…" cause my legs and other parts of my body were sore as Hell on Thursday AM! Walking up and down the stairs in my home is so painful!!!  But the pain reminds me that I NEVER want to go this long again, without doing weights/working out!

Somehow , I did manage to ride my bike outside with my kids yesterday eve, and then get on the treadmill for an easy 40 minute cardio walk., later in the eve.  It was 11:30PM, and I really wanted to go to bed, but I have to tell you, reading all of the other blogs has kept me very motivated!  There is always someone who pushed past that feeling of "not wanting to work out", or someone that worked out in the middle of the night, because that was the only time in the day they could do it.  This is a committment, and there will be days that regardless of everything else, you will have to honor that committment (even when you don’t want to, or in the midnight hour, etc, etc, etc.)

Hubby said that the treadmill workout would break up some of the lactic acid in my legs (and thus, help with the DOMS), but hell, I’m still sore!  And, today, I get to do the weight training program all over again!

Oh well….DOMS, here I come!

BTW, now I’m finished w/ the Detox, I’m ready to really begin my Clean Eating.  For right now, I think I want to focus just on establishing a good nutrition routine for myself (along with paying attention to portion sizes), but not so much "counting calories" or anything.  Does anyone have any good and simple meal plans that they could share?  Just from reading everyone else’s posts, I know that things such as egg whites, protein powder, chicken breasts, salmon, sweet potatoes, salad, and fruits and veggies should be in my food staples.  Now, I just need to pull all of this into some sort of Meal Plan.  Help!

In addition to my hubby and 3 kids, there’s another woman in my house.  She and I have had our share of ups and downs over the years.  These days, we definitely have a Love/Hate relationship, and more often than not, we don’t agree on anything.

Her name is Tanita, and "she" is my weight/bodyfat scale!

I’m trying to learn not to rely on her opinion so much.  After all, its how the clothes fit, and what you see in the mirror that counts, right? I know this, yet, I’m constantly seeking her opinion. 

Since I’ve done the detox, her "reports" have been in my favor.  Probably mostly water weight, but I’ll take the reduction in numbers anyway!  However, in the upcoming days, weeks and months, I know there will be days when those reports won’t be so favorable…

But this time, I plan not to "check in" with her, as much as before.  (Well, that’s at least, my plan).  I could banish her to the recesses of my walk-in closet, but she’ll still call to me, esp in the AM’s, as I’m preparing for workout/shower/work.  I could throw her out completely, but I still need some level of accountability, right?  (Besides, I’m sure there is an upgraded model in the stores!)

This time, I plan to keep the focus on my overall health and wellness.  Of course I want to also lose the lbs, but my focus needs to be bigger than the weight.  I need to remember the moments, and why I’ve embarked upon this quest in the first place.  I need to remember that the older I get, the more muscle I will lose, unless I don’t fight back, with everything I’ve got!

I will still have to check in with my other woman from time to time, but if I stay focused on my goals, and follow through (to the letter!) with my action plans, she should be singing my praises, from here on in!!

But, I must admit, I’m so looking forward to what she’ll have to say on Sept 30th (my next weight/measurement check in date).

I must admit, I LOVE reading all of the BodySpace blogs!  Call it weird, but it really comforts me to see that I am not alone in this quest for greatness.  There are some GREAT writers/bloggers out there, and so far, the blogs have invoked all types of emotions in me, from anger, to laughter, to sadness, and of course, happiness; that I am here, that I’m alive, and that I’m not alone!

One of my faves has been Jaded611’s "Oh Shit" moment!  I’ve had MANY of those, so I thought I’d share them with you (Jaded, you are NOT alone, Girl!  Here goes…)

How about the time someone asked me in the supermarket, when my baby was due? I had JUST delivered my 2nd daughter, via c-section.  Well, not just, she was approx 3 months old at that time…

Or, the time someone said to me "you looked very Pleasingly Plump the other day!  (Was this supposed to be a comment?)

Or the day in my office, when I stated that I was cold, and one of the admins replied "why don’t you borrow a jacket?  I’d loan you mine, but it wouldn’t fit you".  (She then came back to me later in the day and apologized, because she realized that I may "take her statement the wrong way").  What other way could I take it???

Or, when the people in the office know that I like cake, and they proceed to hand deliver cake to my office, whenever its available (birthday parties, going away celebrations, etc.)?

OR, when I realized that I was actually ashamed to show my naked body to my husband? (I can only cover up so much….esp since we share the same bed/bathroom!)  I still can’t find a towel long enough…

Or, that my stomach seems to get in the way of everything these days!

Or, when I realized that the size 16"s were actually getting snug, and then, all of a sudden, the 18’s were snug too!!

So many moments!  I could go on and on….. but I won’t.  Cause its time to put these moments behind me, and move my behind FORWARD! 

Of course, the moments will still be there.  Lurking in the recesses of my mind, and hopefully, they will rear their ugly heads, when I’m ready to overeat, or not work out, or eat another slice of cake that someone hand-delivers to my office!

So, I decided that in order to really committ to this thing, I would first start by doing a body detox, to "clean out" from the inside, and according to the package "change my taste buds, and cravings".  Since nutrition will be key in achieving my goals, I figured, what the hey.  I am now on day 4 of the plan, with days 3-5 being all distilled water, a lemon/water/maple syrup mixture, and herbs.  Yesterday, I was invited to attend a housewarming party, that I completely forgot about when I decided to embark upon this detox.  So, Ibeing thrust into my first social situation while fasting, I packed my water and lemon mixture, and off I went.  She had all of my fave foods - shrimp cocktail, ribs, potato salad, chicken wingettes, etc, not to mention, tons of alcoholic beverages.  However, all were off limits to me.  So, I enjoyed the pleasure of my water/lemon mixture and nothing more.

BUT, I learned something about myself yesterday.  First, that I could stay true to myself, even in the most trying situations.  I NEVER thought I could go through an entire day of not eating, let alone, be in a room filled with my favorite foods, and not eat a bite!  Second, that my will power is much stronger than I’ve given myself credit for.  All evening long, I was offered various wines, food, etc, to which I simply said - No Thanks!  Moreover, I was able to focus on the socialization; just spending an evening conversing with old friends, and meeting new ones!

So, Day 3 is behind me, with today and tomorrow left on the juice mixture, and then its all the fruits and veggies that I want on Day 6 (which I’m SO looking forward to, BTW!!!).  I’m curious to see if the detox will make me feel better, as well as tame my pesky taste buds.  But even if the latter doesn’t happened, I’ve learned that I CAN be in control of what I put in my mouth, and when!!  I’ve learned that I CAN be strong, and remain steadfast, in my pursuit of the smoking hot bod that I know is underneath my current frame. 

So, perhaps this was more of a "Mind Detox"?  I guess we’ll soon see…

Well, here I am, at Week One - Again!  I’ve done this so many times that its hard to keep track.  BUT, I’m going to make this time Bigger and Better than all of the others!  For one, I’ve never done anything quite like this - putting myself out there for all of the world to see.  But, I must admit, I do like the online support, and it helps to validate that I’m not alone in this quest.  I’m just trying to be the best that I can be. 

I started off this week by just doing Cardio.  I know, I know… I have to incorporate weight training too.  But, I figured I’d just start off nice and slow.  I’m thankful that no matter how out of shape I get, I can still come back and do at least 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill (I’m always reading stories about people that can’t even walk for 5 minutes, and that REALLY scares me!)  Today makes my 5th straight day.  After tomorrow, I’ll take a one day break, and then next week, I’ll hit the weights. 

Nutrition is another matter.  I’ve got to start over here too.  I’m getting ready to do a 3 day detox, and I’m hoping that while clearing out my "system", I’ll also clear out some of these bad food cravings!  Pastries, cakes and chocolate are my weakness!

Oh well…..starting over!

For at least the past 15 years, I haven’t been proud of my body/physique.  And, I’m finally able to admit that I’ve never really committed to the process of actually changing my body (aka getting fit).  I’ve started and stopped working out so many times, it’s ridiculous!  I’m now at the point that I’m ASHAMED of my body, and how I look.  I’m ready to put the shame aside, and dig in. 

My long term goal is to have my bodyfat in what’s considered a "healthy range" (or better), for someone my age.  I want to go into my mid-late forties feeling and looking FAB-U-LOUS! I want to make working out and good nutrition a part of my "core", and not just something that I do, to prepare for an event.  I guess, I want to prove to myself, that I CAN DO IT!  Even with all of the starting and stopping that I’ve done, I’m hoping that its not too late to start over again.

I’ve been perusing this site for some time now, and I want to give a shout-out to "Making a Change".  She’s the sole reason that I’m posting my journey on Bodyspace.com!

Ready? Set? WORK!!

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