fit_in_idaho’s BodyBlog

I am still working out.  I did gain 10 lbs over the summer, but have been focused to get back to 125.  Five more pounds to go.  I am trying new things. I bought a mountain bike this summer, first time I have had one in over 15 years.  Enjoy riding it when the weather is nice.  Good for saving on gas, also.  I am also taking Yoga, cylcing and kickboxing classes once a week at BSU Rec Center and really enjoying the change.  Plus have an Aerobics and a Conditioning class that are 2 days a week.  I still lift weights and lots of cardio, but I am trying to find more things that keep my fitness level going and peek my interests.  I am also looking into joining the Y here and taking advantage of the rock climbing wall. It is something my daughter wants to do and I believe it will be good for us to spend time like that together.

Getting stronger everyday and LOVING IT!!!!!!

Here is the scoop….I won my appeal (Thank God!) and am able to return to school. My classes are even more demanding this semester than last semester. I am still working out, but am not taking the time to track my workouts. I know what I have been doing and I can feel it too.

Things are getting better and am keeping busy trying to stay ahead in my classes.  Hopefully will have new pictures to post soon.

I appealed to get my financial aid for the spring semester, since I did not hit what I was required to. My teachers and advisor wrote letters on my behalf for the appeals committee, a big help, I am sure. I won the appeal, so get to continue on with classes.

I did drop my 6am class, because one, I know that I will have a hard time getting up in time to make that class and two I couldnt find anyone to help make sure my daughter would get to school on time. I do still have my weight training class and continue going to the gym in addition to that class. I really hope to hit my goal by the end of the semester. I have had a hard time with my nutrition, because I have been so stressed about wether or not I would get my financial aid and be able to go to school again. That stress is gone and can focus on other things now.

I went back to school last semester, but had to appeal to get my financial aid. In the past when I attended school I had problems with my daughter and my grandma died from cancer. My daughter is ADHD and BiPolar, with lots of other issues. When I attended school 4 years ago she had to be admitted to Intermountain Hospital (a pyschiatric hospital). It was during midterms and did not complete my classes. (I couldn’t concentrate) Anyhow, I appealed to go back to school last semester and was accepted, but with restrictions.  I had to complete 100% of my classes and get a 2.25 GPA. I was struggling with math and biology, but worked hard to pass the classes.

During the semester, just like 4 years ago, my daughter was admitted to Intermountain Hospital again (she was hearing voices and had thoughts of suicide).  This was around my birthday and midterms. I was extremely depressed, but kept up on my classes. I passed all my classes despite everything, but my GPA is 2.192, just short of the 2.25 GPA requirement.

It is so depressing knowing that I worked so hard despite everything and may not be able to get my financial aid for next semester, even though I am so close. What is worse is that I will not only lose a dream, but quite possible my house. I get grants and extra money to help pay my expenses while I am going to school. I still work part-time, but it is the grants that help me pay what I am behind on my house. (I know that that may sound bad, but that is why they provide the extra money). Without the financial aid and the grants, I can not continue on with school and do not know where I would go from here. I really wanted a career in the Fitness field so I can help people like myself become healthier.  My dream will come to an end and I will just be lost. I am almost 40 and feel like such a failure! 

I have finals last week and this week. I am going nuts and am so burned out. The stress is killing me. I went to the gym for a little while this morning, but only did 10 min of cardio and my planks and smith machine lunges. I was exhausted and hungry. I told myself I would go back tonight after I took one of my tests. Now it is 9pm and have no desire to go to the gym. I am so bummed, because I studdied for my math test and was prepared. I knew the formulas and how to graph points. I was as prepared as I could be, but then I get handed the test and went blank. I just sat there staring at the test for 5 mins or more. I panicked and all of a sudden had horrible anxiety and I know i did terrible.

It is so depressing, because I have to do well in that class (in all my classes) to go to the next math class and to get my financial aid for next semester. So now I have my biology class to study for and am having the worst time focusing.

I went in to see my trainer and get new measurements. I was hoping that, with the weight I lost and difference I see in the pictures I took recently, I had done well.  I am bummed that I did not do as well as I hoped. I lost 7lbs, but only 0.60% of bodyfat. I was hoping to have done better.  It is still good, but just a little dissapointing.

I am more determined to make bigger and better changes from here on out. I have finals this week and next week and then a month off from school. I am going to spend as much time as possible in the gym working out and search for new nutrition ideas, so I can hit my goal.

I recently was crushed by someone I really like and care about deciding that he only want to be just friends. We had been seeing each other for a few months, but……yeah….didn’t work out like I hoped it would. In the past I would turn to food and destroy everything that I had already accomplished, but this time I became more focused on my goals.

I have started working out harder, focusing more on my nutrition and focusing more on my studies. Not sure how successful I am with my classes yet, but I know that I am working harder than before. I do know that I have lost 6 more pounds and am close to my weight loss goal.  I am working out extremely hard and can see a difference in my body, more definition than before. I am still a little affraid to have my bodyfat checked (nervous that I am not doing as well as I thought). I just keep working out hard and keep it in my head that I am not at that goal yet. Maybe when I lose the full 10 pounds then I will have my measurements taken again.

I am happy with what I have done so far and feel accomplished just knowing how hard I am working to acheive the goals that I have set for myself.

I am having a tough time lately.  Stress of school, making sure that can pay the bills and problems with my daughter and her father’s family is just putting so much pressure on me.  I have been bad turning to anything that has sugar.  I try hard to stay away from sugar, but it is hard for me to do.  I had no problem to quit drinking alcohol when I decided to quit, but sugar is a totally different story.  Between working 2 jobs right now and school, I haven’t had much time for working out and when I do I am just so exhausted that I have to push myself to go to the gym.  The good thing is that I have been able to talk to other people in my classes about what is going on and family is there for me.  Without that support I would probably not be where I am today.