fifi2’s BodyBlog

just short note:

1. bussy, just bussy at the moment

2. Thank you for BB.com for update to my email , so i can came here to see all of my fav friends in here

3. Time passed so fast, …unconcious my body fat happily came to my hips

4. i did 5k treadmill nonstop with speed 8,2, interval 0 for 45 to 50 minutes

5. i work : 9 am - 1 am… some times 3 am sleep and wake up 9 am, i started to ate donuts to calm me down. 

6.if i have time, i run treadmill early morning 6 am for 3k to 4 k only.

7. i write this blogs 03:07 am. work is my own responsibility, not for money but work for making life better

8. time is short, life is short, i want to make my own history with my own standard only.

 9. i love bodybuilding.com

10. going to sleep now.

11.bye

so, the story is about sweet noodle big fans like me almost giving up for sport. i ate unclean , i work and less gym. last month i only come for sport twice with 1 hours exercise. and the rest after working…just watching addicted youtube and funny movie. the results is i gain back my fat and lossing some muscle. well…this is no good. since i less my work out, i feel more tired and gloomy.
i think the only way is all about habitual for healthy ritual lifestyle.

i mean, every food is good. junk or not junk is good. but the most important things is work out, sport or any cardio acitivity. my opinion might be wrong, but everything that has too much and imbalance be potential for going wrong direction.

well, this three month i enjoy a lot of food that some people called it unclean. but well, now i learn back to love my body by not eating too much junk food. cause it can harm and hurt my body, especially my size.

i love bodybuilding.com

must workout now and take a good care~!

well..what i can say?

i already 30 years old. supposed to be golden years for me as women who live in the eastern culture, she supposed to have married, have husband and be a mother. …just the reality, i did not have it at all.

questions is, is that so difficult to find the right man to be my partner in my marriages story, maybe male in my country has no balls so they dont like strong  women….well i can not say im strong women…well i dont know, but most people around me saw me and thought that …

i just dont understand they said im very picky…do i said that? what? funny things to laughed….but well…i just dreaming getting marry to someone that want to take care of me forever and ever….do this dreams is still exist in this global world…..spinning around and everything not remains the same.

quiete sad i started this 2008 with rocky and not smooth days..

it was rainy days on the new years eve

and then at the beggining of February my living place got floods

and a week before i turn to be 30, someone has broke my heart, playing with my heart , destroy my trust  and took advantaged on me physically. He is populars among his friends with his kindness and i just knew he is Jerk…..well, maybe this is the time i must "move on" and forget about  searching soulmatte…

i believe , latter i will get marriage with a man who really loves me unconditionaly…

Bb.com with friends i never meet yet totally inspired me a lot to keep doing im doing, to move on…

no hard feeling…

anyway, i do treadmill 30 minutes, speed 8.2, incline 0, non stop

im focusing my lower body parts especially my boom.

today mom just came visiting me. she live in different city with me just want to see me on my 30 years old b’day.

some friends are just bussy with life and just making phone saying b’day.

since my mom came, i just b’day tiramisu cake, chicken noodle… sushi rice, cheese cake and i dont diet….i just eat what i eat…

i know…im still learning to reduce my habit on food.

food are very addicted…lucky i still have another hobbies,…treadmill and weightlifting.

i can not imagine my self if im not being active, i will be easy to store a lot of fat.

i need to sleep…its been 3:!2 am in here…

just move on…~

3 january 2008

Happy new year 2008

from 25 dec 2007  to 2 january 2008: i ate alot carbs and not burning it.

including fat, i ate alot of fat ..fat ..fat and mostly fried. My belly getting nasty including my hips…the nasty fat

but today i already done

30 minutes treadmilll , with 6 speed to  8,2 speed , incline 0

weight training : im using endomorphy program that i download in Bodybuilding.com, im doing shoulders and biceps. for one and half hours

after that im doing 30 minutes treadmill 8,2 speed, incline zero, non stop.

i start it on 7 am, finished it on 9:30 am

thats all.

i ate fried again, because im addicted to it. i wishes i can changed the habbit. but that need process…thats why i can not get my flat stomuch yet….i can not control on fried food addiction.

well….i will write it back, i must go for my work.

bye

Dear My sweet BodyBlog,

Yesterday i went to the gym, im doing barbel press for 60 lbs ( 30 lbs left + 30 lbs right ) with 6 reps * 1

including still doing LMg 3 Phase.

actually im still confused about what i really want, to bulk up? or to cut up? i put some questions in the female forum, asking about how to get rid off my belly fat since im working in the food industries, so i need to taste the food before get along to the market. Mostly food ingredients related to fried food and glutens.

actually i did not  updated blogs because im a little bussy during X’mas. Especially waiting for the flood. The News warn us to prepare about coming soon flood during 22-25 Dec 2007.

I want to get holidays, but seems everyday is must hardwork, and i enjoy it. sure, i admired alot bodybuilding.com and the bodyblogs, …well…thats inspire me a lot….but i still need  learning how to handle all the bussy time.

Merry X mas and Happy New Year 2008.

My wish list for 2008:

1. saving money just for Beijing Olimpiade 2008 games , watching, especially synchro games…

2. i want to meet Jay cutler , Ronnies Coleman and take a picture with him. And Monica Brant too..

3. I want to buy a airplane ticket to Vegas and watching alive Miss Olimpia/figure competition. Including going to Bodybuilding.com store…

those wish list need a lot of hardwork for buying the ticket. i need to save more money and harwork just for buy the ticket.

I loves Bodybuilding.com

wish me luck, yall!

dec 06, 2007 on 10:54 pm

today i just do chest and shoulders
i think i already losing my focus on the programs, i supposed do circuit training, but something in my heart ask me to continues the LMG3 phase programs. actually i feel the benefit of LMG3 phase program that i read from bodybuilding.com.
i feel the first workout program helping much for my postures. but i still dont understand why some of my heart ask me to do circuit training, and some inside my little heart ask me to continues the LMG3 phase programs.
theres is so many choice programs inside bodybuilding.com but somehow it not easy to pick up the right one for the goals and more difficult to keep it continues and focus.

apa yah yang terjadi. mustinya g mikir kalo begitu banyak pilihan jadi membingungkan. emang bener kaya nyokap, memilih bukanlah hal yang bener bener gampang. kalo salah pilih, beneran menderita seumur hidup. jadi , hati hatilah saat memilih.

im doing cross training just 100 call
and walking on treadmill around 120 cal.
and doing chest and shoulders press for 3 set*10 reps

today, i ate :
i forget my breakfast
12:30 pm ; poridge and tauco
3 pm ; medium pizza with tuna and chese on top. + fried black mushroom + water
4 pm; chocolate  ritter sport for 8 pack, taste nice and im thinking have it right now.
5 pm: eating chocolate block again
6 pm: go for sport, i feel no energy . everytime i forget my breakfast and eating  junk food, i feel like got no energy to start the gym ritual’s
i almost think not going to workout today. i feel lazy, dont have any energy to workout. i really pushed my self to go. i can not let the lazzy soul stay and kill my self slowly. yes, sometimes the enemies are really hiding  inside our soul.

after finished workout and drink VP2 + BCAAs , i go back home around
9 pm: eating tempeh cracker a lot
9:30 pm : eating boil gingseng vegetables

i cant not let the lazzy and unfocus lifestyle conquer my self. During my treadmill walking, at 45 calories burn show in treadmill , i almost stop my self not to continues to walk. i feel i got no energy and dont have focus at all.
but i fight my self not to stop walking , at least i must burn 100 cal. so, i pushed my self…pushed it until 10o cal show on treamill machine. i fight my self to stay focus and keep going.

and when im thinking it back during writing this blog on BB.com, i think back…this is already december. How many days left and how many days i m just doing nothing for my self and others.
im thinking about what i had been doing with my focus? almost this many past years im thinking about my past, my sweet love past, my broken heart, my broken dreams, my broken soul….im too focus on it and i forget to focus on my self. i forget to focus today, i forget to focus my future and a lot of good things that might happened next days.

i just realized , walking in treadmill helps me somehow to helps me to show that when im thinking the old times, i just wasting my time, wasting my energy.

the conclusion quote  today for me is,
"if i can not win himself  back to me, i want to make sure i can win my self just for me.

6 dec 07, thursday on 00:35 am

on 5 dec 07 evening workout from 5 pm t0 8 pm , im doing

250 cal on treadmill , fast walking and sprinting max speed is 10 )

300 calories on cross training machine

250 calories on stepers

250 calories on steppes.

my goals is burning 1200 cal ( but i just burn it on my cardio around 1000 cal )

and eating less 1500 ( but this is not easy, i count it still around 2500 cal )

im changing my workout routine. before that im using LMG3 phase sytem, but right now changed it into circuit training. i already know what i want, i want my slim sexy body back like i used to have around 5o kg for 159cm height. currently my body weight is 58 kg. still have a lot of body fat.

yeah, maybe this is my yoyo diet as what my fitness male told me yesterday, hes doing the yo yo diet, losing 1 kg this weeks and gaining 3 kg next weeks. but i dont think so this happened to me, im trying to bulk up on those days and i need to gain 8 kg for 8 months. but i think i said to him i gain my body fat 8 kg during 3 months.   and i think this is too much. i must do more cardio

(i just feel strange. why everybody called it yo yo diet? where the yoyo diet name come from? )

i think after 8 months doing some experiment with whey protein , and reducing cardio for purposes gaining muscle or bulking up, and i found out my fat is coming too, especially in my ass.

i dont understand, everytime i ate chicken noodle, or some food , it is quickly store up inside my hips, thight and ass not in my biceps nor boobs.  

i think i learn something today, about yo yo diet, about what actually i want, what really my lifes look like…what suppose i do on the next new year? i dont have any plans in celebrating new year 2008. maybe just sleeping, like what i did last year, or maybe just eating some tempeh cracker and watching dvd after work. what Phatethic life hahahaha..i still laughed on it.

im thinking to Bali,but i dont think so i like it, im thinking to fly overseas for newyears eve, but sounded like very lonely being aboard alone. or maybe just watching morning sunshine in Ancol bay with my employee, but i dont think so it is good idea with  rainnydays haunting and floods everywhere.

Jakarta city are very sucks without boyfriend. i dont want boyfriend i just want marry someone and want live with me until  my body looks like grandmas..i wish someone that are single, never married before and gentle want to marry this yo yo diet face girl like me.

what a joke.

back to what i want to write, i read some article about kelly ryan in BB. i dont want to comment to much in this case, but the articles really open my mind about what actually happened in BB industries. the news writes about swingers, about drugs narcotics, and streoid use. i think both of them did not deserved to be champion at all. both of them supposed not to win the tittle of IFBB pro or mr olympia. it is very shame why those people can win a very graces tittle in bodybuilding.

bodybuilding supposed related about hardwork, diciplines, regularly, self control ,down to earth, not cocky type person. i just read the news about they said kelly husband some kind of negative person. and it is including loves affairs between her husband and personal assistant thats killed the personal assistant it self.

well, thats why God ( the real energy if you watch DVD about "the secret" ) never approved "affairs" in every marriage.

being stable, staright and faith to your soulmatte ( called husband or wife if you marriage ) is the best things in life , and sure it is bring good luck not bad luck.

have you ever  read, hear , listen or see about  "having affairs " or cheating in your marriages will bring good luck?  the answer is always said NO.

if i read from many cases, or history, cheating always broken everyone heart. and it is bring BAD LUCK or bad energy.

being straight person is not kind of easy task. thats need a lot of self control about our self.

cheating in marriages is something similar likes, you work very hard everyday for slim down the body looks like playboy cover girl, and when you start cheating and eating unhealthy food, the body will goes ugly. something similars in marriage. when you cheat, everything goes bad.

i wish i was wrong. but i learn it a lot from youtube.com after watching some video or reading some news or some friends talk about the marriages. well, lucky im not marriages yet and wish i can find someone who really  understand that cheating in marriages is very dangerous and make life suffer or will bring bad bad luck.

i wish i was wrong.

 i want to go sleep now. tommorow i m still waiting my BB order, it is not arrived yet in my home, because the immigration will not let that stuff easy come to this country without know what it is.

im just curious about lippo 6, i wish i can use it soon , i want some good experiences with this kind of Lippo6. and i dont know why my first order payment not in BB desk yet.

this is just wierd.

nite nite. i will see my kittes before went bed. i think im addicted to BB.com now.

end writing on 1:13 AM

today is 2 december 2007, sunday

first, i go to church. 

soon after church, i ate soto ayam something similars to chicken vegetables with noodle and ginger, the soup add some spices with exotic taste.

i ate it on 11 am

i back home and go watch "waitress DVD" i feel sleepy at the middle of movie.

around 1:30 pm i went to gym. im doing my LMG 3 phase.

biceps barbell 22,5 lbs for 6 reps*1

biceps curls 15 kg for 7*7*7

bench press

shoulder press

and some of the …ok i forget it, i put the workout  into my mobile phone. because im not too smart, i put the work out into my mobile . i save the LMG3phase workout picture into mobile and can view it easily .it helps me to memorized the workout since im not too smart enough.

after that,  im doing my fastwalking.

speed  walking 6 t0 6,5 increase the hill to 12

running for minutes on 9 with hill 4

im doing that 1 hours and …how many the minutes, i dont remember it, but i do my target well, burning 500 calories.

this is krazy, i ate unhealthy food for store fat on my bodies more than 1000 calories. i ate it for 10 minutes only, and i must suffer for speed walking 1 hours more just to burn 500 calories.

funny, but i love eating junk food or unhealthy food that many people thought scary things . it is just delicious!

well, this meaning i must work very very hard for my body.

if i want to eat what i want, i must work hard for burning the calories, or it will become bad fat.

if i want have good body , so i must to burn more cal and watch my food.

Hmm…so what i want? i just want to eat what i want without making my bodies obesity. well, the secret is on the gym. eat smart and work out regularly.

that what im doing just now, reduce my sister invitation on dinner together for today. (sure i will have more dinner with my families soon ) ,eating strawberryes and pineaple a bowl with salt fruit.

now i am drink soya milk without sugar. i drink it for 3 cups.

i write this after my mind always asking why my first order in bodybuilding by money transfer was not received yet? kind of wierd. im tired asking.

bye now…

writing soon latter.

just keep the good spiritS, yall!

Today is 25 Nov 07, sunday

today i ate:

vegetables + fish ball = 10 am

watching oprah

went to gym at 12 pm ( it is very hot day. 38 deggree i thought )

im  doing chest + shoulders

cardio 5 minutes before liftweight, 10 minutes stepscardio for after Liftweight.

go for sauna 15 minutes. took bath, go back home , ate veggies like cucumber and strawberies a bowl

and go to sleep, wake up ate 8 pm

8:30 pm i cook vegies and fish ball + eating tempeh crackers

10 pm i ate manggo and fruits juice drink.

now im writing at here. thinking back about what had happened last 2 years. spending and wasting time to forget someone. i know he must be with that women that i dont like. i know he try to revenge on me by dating that women. why i hate this. i dont have so much friends since i know i am afraid being stabbed by someone.

it is hurt being stabbed by your trusted companion. and it is more worse when i know someone just try to close to me because she or he wanted something from me not because friendship, but because something that they dont have. i have nothing, just have nothing and i dont know why i always face those jelousy eyes.

when i try to lift heavy, they will said why women should lift heavy, are you trying to be a man?

or some questions from those jelousy people that ever make my heart drop like :" you will never made it , because your are just women with low testoterone hormon . Go for streoid and you will achieved it."

i think twice.i dont want to harm my body with things that goverment already banned.  im women and i found a lot of women in this site gave me  inspiration. they are natural bodybuilders.  most of them already have families and up to 40 ages. and they are gorgeous and great beach body. thats light up my heart and force me to lift more heavy. i know im just begginer. started this lifestyle one and half years ago, still need to learn more, pratice more, and lift more weight.

i know, in some country, men dont want their women better than him. but sure, i will find someone better who loves me and loves me unconditional. i just must becarefull to take care of my heart. i dont know why i tears when i write this.  Sudah lama gue gak nangis. udah hampir dua tahun. Malu juga seh kalo ada yang ngerti and ngebaca. tapi sebaiknya gue curhat ke sini aja daripada gue tertekan. ngga seperti biasanya gue begini. Tapi ini sangat menyakitkan sih. semoga tidak ada yang ngebaca ini. semoga.

maybe this broken heart still deep in my soul, thats why i must lift heavy…heavy …and heavy….

incline db press: total 40 lbs 3 reps*5 sets

im doing supersets today.