Overcoming Obeasity

I’m creeping back up the scale yet again and it’s pissing me off. I hate how I’m one of those people who’s "all talk and no action"… more like all thought and no action.

I know exactly what i NEED to do to stay on track but knowing is only HALF the actual battle itself. Actually getting up and DOING what i NEED to is a whole nother story and THAT is what’s got me so peeved.

 The all too familiar "easier said than done" crap. I’m sick of that. Other people go and DO and be what they want. I’m so used to being hasseled by people who just come off like "You just need to get up off your ass and DO IT. It’s not easy, but you have to PUSH yourself"… like it’s some magical solution. Like the whole world of fat asses out there, that’s the whole problem. We just sit around and do nothing.

 Now granted, I’m not saying that I lost 90 lbs (that’s righti have lost 90 lbs thank you!) by sitting round stuffing my face… but at the same time, to this very DAY, i despise working out. (i’m going to be shun from this site for saying that lol) But I’m not kidding. I can’t stand it and it infurriated me even more that everyone else i know loves working out once they "get into it" they get all giddy and excited and they LOVE to get all pumped up or get that cardio in whatever…. me? NO.

 Even DOCTORS claim "oh yes, excersize is wonderful, when we work out our bodies release natural endorphins which make us feel god and we start to need and want to excersize more regularly" blah blah blah… screw that. Aparently my fatty mindset is perminent or something. I’d LOVE to want to work out and love exercising but as it is, no. I don’t like it at all.

 It’s like when someone has that job they hate with a passion but they go to it every day just because they need the money. Eventually they become a miserable person because they have to do something they hate every day… the thing is, Working out is more of an option. I wish it WAS my job. I try to trick myself into thinking it is, you know psychology crap and stuff but, it doesn’t seem to work.

 Point is, I can not find anything I like doing that involves working out in any form. I try walking, I try jogging/running, i try dancing, i try lifting, i try this i try that, and nothing satisfies me. And no, i don;t try it one time and quit for those of you people who seem to believe consistency is key. For an example: I have been going up and down the stairs in my house for 10 minutes each day every day for 2 solid months, now you’d THINK by now I’d be running up and down those stairs, or at least a bit less winded every time… me? Nope. It still FEELS like the first day I did them EVERY day. There is NO improvement… why?? I mean if I improved then i would probably LIKE working out but i never get better.

In any case… i needed to rant somewhere and no one ever reads these anyways so I don’t think something that goes unnoticed will bother anyone. If anyone is still reading well, my apologies for bitching, thanks for listening.

Yep, I’m back again. I ran into technical difficulties, my laptop crashed on me so hadda wait a few months to save up and buy a new one. Aside from that i had moved, and I have a new job now FINALLY.

 So I’ve been generally busy. I think i hit a plateau before and I actually slacked off majorly (for various other reasons too) but, amazingly I think the slacking off was the break my body needed. Cuz now I am starting back up again and lounds are dropping back off again *knock on wood*.

 In any case… I forget my exact weight when I left here, 150 lbs or something. But as of today I am down to 137! This is the FIRST time since HIGH SCHOOL i have been under 150 lbs, so now that i am under 140, I’m super glad about that.

 For once I’m not in the mood to type a lot (i just got my new laptop so I’ve been typing a lot the past few days)… So I’ll leave more to say in my next post. Hope everyone else is doing well with their goals and hope I can get back into the swing of things on here again. take care everyone (or at least all who read these lil blogs).