Welcome…

So I’m at the gym today, working on trying to develop some form of a lat spread and thinking of creative ways to damage my shoulders, and all is good with the world.  Paradise City is on it’s third replay on the MP3 because it just freaking sounds good today.  Got the dumbbells moving, the lower back is healing up nicely, and in walks Vinnie Jabroni.  Vinnie’s been mentioned several times before in my blogs, though I just made his name up today.  He’s one of those guys who dances to the music between sets, and can’t perform an exercise any more than 4 feet from the nearest mirror!  Whenever we see each other in the gym, there are stare-downs, extra flexing and posing, typical man-stuff.  We stop shy of peeing on the equipment, but you get my point.  So Vinnie’s working arm curls in the corner, stopping just shy of kissing his bicep on every rep, I’m hitting shoulder raises…up to parallel…look over Vinnie, it’s the iron cross…check it focker…perfect form, perfect in every way…
And then it happened – the might mighty air force kicked it into high gear!  I look over between sets, and there are four people huddled around a bench, with the a variety of dumbbells on the floor, and they are doing some form of chest press / fly / pullover thing that just looks awkward, but apparently warmed the cockles of their hulkitude.  So in between sets, two of the dudes get up, and in an act that apparently was meant to signal their pleasure with their exercisitational abilities, broke into the club dance scene from Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion!  I shit you not!  Right there in the hallowed halls of the House of Pain, they start bouncing around, touching feet, the whole scene!  I was floored!  A little disturbed that I remember that movie, but more disturbed that they knew the dance steps!  All we needed was a big male hug and I would have yammied right there on the floor. 
After that, the last set was a blur…I couldn’t focus, couldn’t even hear the music in my ears, I could only remember the scene played out in front of me…so very disturbing…
 

so i’m busting my chops in the gym today, sweat is flowing and all i’ve done are squats and leg presses…feeling the blood flowing, nerves firing, the whole zen-like workout deal…and as i get settled on the preacher rack i look up and brooke is on tv doing some schmaltzy morning talk shoe.  they flip the screen to a full-body picture of her in some magazine and as i pan down the bod i get to the toes…I THOUGHT SHE HAD FLIPPERS ON!  painted toenails were pointing in all directions! 

look, i’m not some foot fetish-a-holic, but the image of those claws was instantly burned into my mind and every memory created by ‘endless love’ was instantly replaced with the thought that she could climb a tree with those things!  for the rest of my arms and cardio workout, they plagued me, ate at my soul as it were. 

 just thought i’d share that and warn you: turn away, do not look into the light!

how in the hell is it that not once, but twice in 3 days, my music dies exactly as i walk in the cardio tent?  is there some cosmic karmatic force that will not allow me to listen to tunes while on the treadmill?  first my good old, reliable, battery-powered mp3 (ol skool fo sho) player takes a dump as i walk into the tent…then tonight my ipod (a retread leftover passed down to me) died in just about the same damn place.  come on…i’m not a huge fan of cardio, but i loves me some metallica, so at least i could have off-set the torture of watching repeats of sportscenter with some screaming guitars..but no…i get nothing but dead noise in my ears for 30 minutes worth of listening to my own labored breathing…lovely…

Not only did i get to spend my day out here in the desert talking to junior Sailors who continue to impress me, but come on - who kills the pirates and saves the day?  Navy.  Who invaded the weight room and pushed army off all the heavy weights?  Navy.  and who continues to do things better and smoother and faster than any service on base?  Navy.  how could you not love us?

 before this tour, i had almost given up on junior sailors, thinking all they cared about was xbox, monster drinks, and cell phones.  then i came out here and watched them, and trained with them.  400 people from 214 different commands (i counted), and in 6 weeks of training it was as if we were together for years.  we tell stories of other commands, but in the end it’s all about the battalion here on ground.  these sailors, 18 - 24 year olds, put in 14 - 16 hour days, include 12 hours behind the wire, and they keep smiling, and laughing, and strapping up to do it again the next day.  my faith in the future of the service i love so much is secure as long as these guys are standing the watch.

i hit the weight room tonight about 1230am, saw that all the squat racks had army guys on them…but no weights were moving.  as usual, the kaisons weren’t rolling along.  they were standing there talking and looking into the mirrors.  that’s when i saw the other squids walking in the tunnel.  pretty soon we were everywhere.  here’s the difference between the services - navy gets in there and starts lifting right away, they already have a game plan.  army had to discuss it and rationalize it…and then they went sissy-light!!  love lifting with squids…

oh yeah, and how about the SEAL team, and the crews of the Bainbridge and Boxer?  damn we look good…

for those who don’t know it (like…everyone), today is my 42nd birthday.  and all i could do on this day, was a couple of competition qualifying squats at 405#, and leg presses at 540#, and those tiny little 100# preacher curls.  i’m such a wuss…

 Happy Birthday to me, i’m kind of digging the way i feel at 42…been a good year so far…all 24 hours of it…

As the world’s finest country starts waking up, visions of turkey and dressing, family and football on their brains, please take a moment to remember that half way around the world is someone’s brother, sister, father, mother, or close friend who is standing a watch on foreign soil.

 We don’t mind, that’s what we volunteer to serve in the armed forces for.  We just ask that you not forget us.

okay, i know that it’s been almost 2 years since my last softball game, but damn…i sucked.  a horrible 1 for 4 night at the plate and i’m ready to freaking bench myself!  i got up there to swing and realized that there was a freaking chest in my way!  it’s been a long time since i’ve been this big, actually never, and it threw my swing off. but oh daddy….that ball was humming from shortstop to first!  that felt good…that whole swinging a bat thing was a pain in the ass.

 and, now i’m even more excited about lifting…i’ve got an online trainer.  thank you Moe for stepping up and taking on my questions and the challenge that i’ll pose.  you rock girl, love you!

has anyone noticed a change in workouts when you lose a partner?  mine is down for a week with a shoulder injury, and just knowing he’s not there has ****ed up my workouts.  i don’t try to go as heavy as i have in the past, don’t work as hard either.  i haven’t needed him to bail me out of any bad lifts (okay, 1 time), but i am not confident enough to push the envelope without a second set of eyes on me.

 thoughts?

okay, so i took one night off lifting…it was flag football night, can you blame me?  i will say this though - after hitting hard for the past couple weeks, when i hit someone, they go down faster. 

 no contact in flag football, right…penalty flag…got it, 15 yards, first down…but it felt SO DAMN GOOD!  and it ensured thar they didn’t come across the middle any more.

 tomorrow?  back to the heavy stuff.  but for now?  going to shower and revel in my penalty yards and the sight of that guy at my feet…

so i’ve got this young guy that works with me, 23 / 24, however old he is.  anyway, he has these grand dreams of being the "professional athlete" build - v-back, 6pack abs, cuts everywhere, the whole nine yards.  anyway, little guy wants to work out with me.  problem is this: i’ve wanted to pack on weight, so i’m going as heavy as i can and still knock out reps.  my apprentice (10 pounds and 15 years my junior), tried to do that with me. 

 now his shoulder is jacked, but i’ll still let him spot me.  but our boss is mad at me for breaking the little guy.