tryingto’s BodyBlog

I did this killer work around the house today; fixing up the back room and cleaning out and re-aranging the closet.  so, for supper, I decided, gee, I go for a McDonald’s!  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had it in the past–but it’s been a grilled chicken sand and the the asain chicken salad too.  I mean, a REAL McDonald’s–the greasy double quarter pounder, some fries and a six size of chicken nuggets.  It all smelled real good on the ride home.  I get home, unpack it and eat it like crazy!  At first, it seemed to taste good.  But, in reality, the more I ate, I realized it tasted like shit!  And the result of all of this?  It’s been sitting in the pit of my stomach, swishing around there leaving nothing but a fowl taste in my mouth!  Next time, I’m going back to the chicken sand and salad!  And, let this be a lesson to ALL of you who read this–don’t settle on your emotions when it comes to eating!!!

I’m sure lots of you here have noticed the ridiculous increase in fresh foods!  I was at the store yesterday and they had nectarines of 3.99 a pound!  the produce guy was taking away all the ones that had rotted.  I asked him if anyone was buying them at that price.  He said, "not yet!"  Also, cantaloupe was $4 for one!  and, last week, bing cherries were 8.99 a pound!  I totally reuse to even think about paying those prices for food.  I love fresh fruit and veggies but now it seems you have to get a loan from the bank just to buy them!

ok, so for a long time, I guess I’ve been making excuses as to why I’m overweight; I love food, I love to eat–we all do right?  Especially all that emotional eating we do; we feel sad, we eat–we feel happy, we eat.  And, don’t forget how culutral eating can be too.  But in all honesty, no one was to blame for my horrible eating but myself.  No one forced me to put that greasy burger in my mouth.  No one held a gun to my head and said, "You better eat this or I’ll shot!"  I DID IT ALL TO MYSELF!  I blame me and no one else.  It’s taken a hard look at myself to realize that, but it’s true.  I think some of it too was when I was growing up and was told, "finish everything on your plate."   And we keep those bad habits with us too.  It’s never too late to change bad habits.  After all, they’re just LEARNED behavior.  You have to UNLEARN them.  It can be done but it takes WORK.  You have to make it want to happen.  Believe in yourself that you can do this and you will.  I know; I’ve done it.

How do you look at food?  Like, oh my gosh, I have to have it or I might die if I don’t!  Sure, we have to eat to live.  But, as the saying goes, to you live to eat or eat to live?  I think we all have to look at it as a nutrition source.  It keeps our bodies going and all the good stuff that goes with it.  I mean sure, you can feed it all the crap you want but how does that make you feel?  It always made me feel like crap after.  Then I asked myself, "why the hell did I eat all that stuff?"  Sometimes you have to put on the brakes and ask yourself, "is this really going to benefit me by eating this?"  I think you have to look how well you’ve done and not give in or up.  And, don’t forget the cheat day.  I use them once a week.  The thing is, I feel so guilty after my cheat day!  Some food for thought.

So, I’ve been reading Frank Sepe’s The Truth and for five meals, it says I should consume 75 grams of protien!  That’s bases on my weight of 253 x 1.5 grams of protien per meal!  I don’t know, that seems a lot to take in and eat for one meal.  I’d have protien coming out of my ears! 

I’m going to try and reason this out and it probably isn’t going to go over well in the long run; I’ve been busting my butt all week with my workouts (weights, eating and cardio).  So, I decided to make a compromise tonight and give myself a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream–my most favorite: Peanut Butter Cup.  Will I eat it all?  Yes!  And why? Because I’ve earned it!  So, you can yell at me and point your finger at me but I’m going to stick my fingers in my ears and say, "la la la la la, I can’t hear you!"

Me and my partner had a nice Saturday outing; going to the bookstore is our favorite activity!  (I love books)  Anyway, he decides we need to go to McDonalds for lunch.  My mind kicks in and remembers I once got an Asian Chicken Salad that was really good.  We park in the lot and when I open my door, I can smell at the greasy insides of the store oozing out from the smoking vents; it nearly made my stomach lurch!  He orders a Big Mac and fries and the girl behind the counter seemed to disbelieve me when I order my salad.  I felt invincible having made a good choice and not get a greasy burger and artery clogging fries.  We take a seat and he’s diving into his burger and I’m sitting there, really enjoying my salad; it’s very good but I recommend to go easy on the dressing–you don’t need it all!  All around me, everyone’s eating burgers and munching on fries.  Not me– no way!  It’s funny how my choices have changed now.  And to tell you the truth, I didn’t even tasting one of those burgers!

So, last night, I made supper for me and my partner; turkey burgers on whole wheat toast, salad and a small serving of steamed veggies.  My partner looks at the meal and says to me, "I think you’re depriving us of food."  I was so shocked when he said this.  And he himself has diabetes so it was a decent serving and a complete meal.  I think sometimes he gets upset when I’m not making us all this other stuff he wants.  Oh well!

It’s funny and strange when you’ve stayed away from "bad" foods for the week and get to have them on your cheat day.  I’ve found that those foods that I loved to eat don’t taste so good to me anymore!  Like McDonalds; my cheat day I had a double quarter pounder with cheese and a large fries.  I was almost drooling to eat it.  I brought that dripping grease burger to my mouth and was almost afraid to eat it but gave in.  It taste really gross to me!  And the fries were no different.  Even my favorite candy, Peanut Butter Cups, don’t seem to taste so good as they used to!  I’m actually glad to say this.  It’s a whole different way of eating healthy all week but my stomach feels better for it and I even have more energy too.  So, I say, go ahead, keep that cheat day and don’t be suprised if the foods you onced loved bite back at you!

So, like I said, my partner wanted some KFC on Friday.  He even told me that he’s gotten so used to how we eat now, that even the KCF gave him heartburn!  But, sad to say, we had left over from Friday.  So, this being my cheat day, I had to have a piece.  And, it’s just sitting there, in the pit of my stomach right now.  It’s laughing and pointing it’s boney chicken finger at me saying, "Told you so, told you so!"  I have to rethink my cheat day and safe it for two good meals: breakfast and lunch and have my cheat stuff for supper.  It really is like being an alcoholic with food for me.  It’s too easy to binge on it!  Hhmm, who can I blame for the way I’ve eaten…how about my MOTHER!!!!  (it was always, "Clean your plate!")  LOL!!