Welcome to my twisted mind!

Well, many of you know me and those who know me well, would tell you I’m always positive, happy, I always joke around and care about others…

Today, however, I feel down…

Things in my life  didn’t exactly go the way I planned, they went exactly oposite actually, and with the chain of events that took place, I was left emotionaly drained and exausted…I don’t like that feeling, I hate it really…

I wish I could just block out all negative things and focus on good things life brings but it’s hard…I know many of you think of me as a strong person, like unbreachable Stone Fort, standing there polished by wind and rain and attempts to level it but still standing high and proud…And I am that Fort most of the time, but sometimes there are things from inside, not outside that are responsible for colaps…Those things are tricky, they sneak up on us, little by little they dig under our feet, they creep up and make home out of our soul and wait for a monent to strike…It’s a sum of things really, accumulated over years, whole life even…Sometimes we slow down or stop and those things catch up with us and beat us down like hammer…I wont let it happen to me, but it almost did…ALMOST but not quite!!! I’m still strong, I still believe in myself and my abbilities, I believe life is worth fighting for and I believe I CAN!!! I KNOW IT!!

It’s like in bodybuilding, more you tore your body down with exercise, stronger it emerges out of it…Same thing happens in life…More life knock us down and whipe floor with our asses, stronger we bounce back!!! YOU BETTER KNOW IT!! What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!!!! Except it ACTUALLY might kill you… And then you screwd!!!LOL

I wont come out and say what are things that are troubling me and dragging me towards bottom, those of you who know, you know for a reason and those of you who don’t, well…THere’s reason you don’t… SORRY!!!

I just want you to know I’m gonna be OK…I’m gonna be better than OK!!! I’m gonna be AWESOME!!! Just give me little time!! I need to gain strength and regroup myself in all aspects of life and get a GOOD plan and make it work!!!

IF WE ARE FACING THE RIGHT DIRECTION, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS KEEP WALKING!!!

That is so true…Following the right path sometimes means we have to do hard things…Make almost imposible decisions…Hurt few souls on the way…But at the end, bigger picture matters…It’s all abt balance…Good and bad…

We just have to believe we can tell one from another…Make right choices!

Having said all this, I’m gonna go now and work on that plan…I’m gona put things to motion that needed to be addressed long time ago yetI failed to do so for God knows what reason…

One door closes but two new open up somewhere and I’m gonna find them…And keep believing in my judgment…Only then I can be at peace with my life…And myself!!

Thank you, my friends, for taking time to read and listen…Please don’t worry about me, I’m gonna be AWESOME!!!!

I love you and am grateful to know such wonderful people!!

Your Mad Serbian Idiot