Detours BODY

God I don’t know what brought that up, guess I wanted to let out my frustrations at the perceptions of sporty/athletic women (women with muscle) from other women as well as men. And myself dealing with conflicting issues in my head, the fact that I like being strong and fit but also the fact that the less toned more willowy image of women is portrayed as something to be aspired to - basically brainwashing! And the thought hat maybe sometimes thats easier than kicking my arse 5 days a week!

Anyway, my final exam is today, feel ok, had a few weird dreams last night but I’m trying to remain calm. Well I shall update in a few hours!

x

Why do I do this, why do I try to find a way to be happy with myself?? I’ve had different body images along my journey to 27 skinny child, then over-developed and busty, when I stopped playing sport I got a little chubby. Then the need to be thin and poor eating habits leading me to being a stick and then finding fitness and body building, but also within that I’ve had my own struggles. I have to lift heavy to make a difference to my shape and dealing with the stares from some self conscience men that I can lift weights as or even heavier than them sometimes sparks comments, or even stares from a few ladies. My physique is  in no way bulky, yet just toned, but people fear that continuing to lift heavy will make you a man! It hasn’t so far, and I don’t have excessive testosterone, those kinds of genetics or take drugs to enhance my appearance in that way. But there is still a small identity struggle, the media pump skinny girls into your face on tv and in magazines and the general public sees that as sexy - maybe its the women who think that, but being a woman being in a mans world sometimes can make you think that maybe you should confirm to the general way of thinking..

But.. the feeling of strength and energy from doing this is second to none - being a physical woman is sexy and it IS SEXY to feel that you can accomplish such things with your body and mind but still the struggle is there. Where does it come from? Why can’t we be happy with ourselves no matter what? I know I can be better and thats what I’m striving for but sporty women get a bad rap sometimes. Lots of sporty women feel the pressure to be "feminine" even though they are but women with muscle seem intimidating - why? Sadly some sporty women resort to dangerous measures to look more "feminine" like disordered eating and negative self image etc.. WHY?

We as active/sporty women are also bombarded with ultra sexy fitness women in the magazines and that can spark insecurities.. They have low body fat due to dieting for the shoot and a lot of them don’t even look like that generally, but we do get sucked in because we have to conform to something that’s mainstream to be accepted. I aspire for those things and have done all sorts to try and achieve it.

You know what I’m sucked in forever and I have to just keep doing it, its ingrained in me now, but its a healthy thing. I can recognise that its a passion and almost an obsession I recognise that images in the media does effect my thinking so I know I want to achieve something that will make me look feminine and sexy and fit. But after experiencing all the things that I have I vow to do it in a healthy manner, done the fat burners and rediculously low carb dieting and losing way too much weight and exercising for so long that I didn’t have time to think and do anything else (literally). Not saying that you can’t use fat burners if you’re sensible, saying I wont do it because I can go too far, diruetics and all.

Its soooo simple I realise it now, finding what works for you something that is humanly possible, being consistent and above all realistic about what you see around you and what you can achieve, that will help you to accept yourself whatever stage you’re at in your transformation or maintenance and will allow you to look in the mirror and say " you know what.. I’m brilliant"!

I have a few issues when it comes to working out at busy times in the gym. Yesterday I did my legs and back in one session because I need Friday free to do my final assessment, so I planned for a circuit on my legs and back without stopping until all was complete.
What annoys me is when someone is resting from their set and just sit there when they see that other people want to use the machine. I ask if its ok for me to jump on while they’re resting so that I can keep going. One guy didn’t understand that concept and had me standing around for ages and it bugged me. He was f.@"..g around on the leg press doing some weird nonsense (pardon me for being rude) He really had no structure to what he was doing and had I not been in a hurry I wouldn’t have cared what he did - but I was! While he was supposedly resting I asked him if I could jump on while he was taking a break, then he said we could work out together.. No excuse me but isn’t that what I was asking him? When you’re not working I can and visa v??? But he thought it meant I’ll make you stand there while I do some real no sense making exercises which even a complete beginner would like at and ask what he was doing, wasting his time and mine with no obvious sets and reps and whilst he was obviously someone who needs help with goals and structure I wasn’t about to do it because he was pissing me off. ….. aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!

I know you can’t be liked by everyone but at least learn that in busy situations when there is a small queue forming, jump on and off and rotate, that way no ones muscles get cold. I was trying to keep my heart rate up so I had to stand there moving around looking like I’ve got ants in my pants!

It was a quickie though, I was in and out within 50 minutes and for me working two muscle groups it would take more like an hr and 1/2, but I did omit some exercises and kept it basic as well as the time saving circuit. Felt good to workout like that, doesn’t give you time to think about anything other than doing it quickly, no time to focus on the burn, only problem is that you could sacrifice some quality reps but thats down to you to make sure you don’t.

Today is normally my cardio day but instead I will be rehearsing my aerobics routine for a few hours. Not the same because I can’t push myself in the same way due to needing to concentrate on teaching it rather than pushing myself to the limit with it. but c’est la vie.

Have a blessed day - whatever is bringing you down or holding you back don’t let it and if it already has tomorrow is another day and you can come back stronger, there maybe clouds up there but the sun still shines!!!! xxxx

Well I’m back - have my exam this friday for my studio instructor award (aerobics!) so My cardio will be my rehearsals. I normally do my legs work on a friday but since my exam is on then I’ll do it today alongside my back and biceps workout. I’ll do 3 leg work outs, instead of squats I’ll do leg press and I’ll do leg ext and ham curls. I normally do dead lifts and sometimes add in hack and sissy squats but I only wanna be there an hour so that I can come back and do more rehearsing. I’ll do a circuit with the legs with no rest until it’s all complete to compensate for the lower weight being used aiming for about 12 - 15 reps on each. 3 back exercises also in circuit
pull ups pull downs and seated rows. drop sets on hammer and basic curls… thats my lot.

I’ve noticed in my diet that I eat too much fat (blasted yummy almond butter!) and not enough protein for full recovery so this week I’m trying to amend that. It’s difficult to eat so much I feel like sometimes I’ve barely digested one meal before I need to eat again, but the lower fat intake should help with that. Its all trial and error and unfortunately there isn’t something that works for everyone thats the same ;o(  But at least I know I’m still on the right kind of track and with these adjustments I need to make I should be looking ultra fine mighty soon … Lol!

Have a good day - make it good no matter what ;o))

I feel like crap today I can tell you.  The cycle is here and even though today is my rest day I just don’t have anything in me to move even to go to the fridge or anything!

Tomorrow its back to the gym doing chest tris and delts… yay! Its my last day of eating crap as I relax on the weekends so I’m gonna munch on some choco bix then I’ll melt it off tomorrow. Not feeling so bothered today about it. But the week is always super clean.

ciao.

Feel like death today, so sure a bit of that is my monthly ( but lack of sleep from late nights is the obvious culprit. My Dad is going back to Uganda today, I will miss him. But to today, it’s the end of the week and I have a yoga session today that I really don’t want to do and I have my legs work out that I REALLY don’t want to do! But I know how pissed off I’ll be with myself if I don’t do my legs especially when I see my body changing all the time, I’ve lost an inch off my waist and thats only because I’ve been consistent. Thats all it takes, when it’s days that you feel tired or not bothered you still have to do it, just do the best you can do on that day rather than not at all.

ssssssssoooooo, thats what I’m gonna do. I have a headache and no energy but I will do it. My yoga teacher is also a friend so I enjoy our sessions for our weekly chats etc.. that bit is definitely social and essential to life but the gym for me is get in work and leave!

So far I’ve eaten oats with a scoop of protein and flax oil and just had two plums to energise me for yoga. Still feeling hungry but she’ll be here in 20 minutes so I can’t eat until afterwards.

ciao x

T’was pure cardio today. I started off on the elliptical for 15 mins. Did a five minute warm up then over the last 10 minutes it got harder, straight from there I went on the bike and started off where I left off exertion wise. The bike is hardest for me, the burn in my legs always makes me bring the effort level down a notch or two but not this time. I let the voice in my head say whatever it had to say but I stayed focused on my task and kept going, was hard but man I did it. Then from there straight to the treadmill, my favourite..(english spelling!) The level of exertion is where  left off from my 10 minute biking which had the effort level upped twice in that time. The running was 15 minutes, started hard and finished harder, outside my comfort zone upping the effort level 3 times. It was hard, thats when the voice in my head was shouting at me telling me that I’d had enough but I kept going. The relief when I had done it was second to none!Dong my cardio like this reminded me that you can do anything if you focus and push through regardless of what your own little voice is telling you - your spirit and will take over. I normally have that focus with the weights but I made myself do it with cardio. Normally when \i do cardio I don’t push myself for that long, I give in to my voice a lot earlier then I calm down the effort of exertion. This was a breakthrough today, I can apply that to a lot of other areas in my life to over come fears or push through tough things. Referring to this can save me in all sorts of situations. I plan to do this type of training once a week to fit in with intervals and steady state cardio. I used to do sprinting in school so running for longer periods of time can get quite boring, sometimes I enjoy it when I see improvements especially but sometimes man I just hate the fact that I ever have to do it!

Anyway.. I hope this will be a source of inspiration.. Surrender to the task at hand and you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve! xxx

This weekend I had  relaxed eating starting with Friday night. Went out with my yoga teacher who is also my friend, we had dinner, I went for an 8 oz steak and swapped the fries for green beans (but it had dressing on which I would’ve asked to not have had I known) still was sooo good, she kept the fries on her plate to eat. We danced the night away so the extra meat was worth it. My legs from my work out were burning the whole weekend.. but it was good. Last night (Sunday) my dad took me, my brother, partner and daughter to dinner at a lush Japanese restaurant called Benihana, hugely expensive but soooo good. I had salmon with all the veg side bits, I left the rice but I had to have the tempura vegetables and the banana tempura with chocolate icecream, that was so amazing
it’s worth dieting with boring plain foods to be able to eat something like that once in a while and really appreciate it. Was heavenly. Woke up 1/2 and hour earlier this morning to do some cardio to burn up the excess, will have my chest workout followed by more cardio later this evening when bub is in bed. Going for the burn and maximum effort just to make yesterday worth it but also use the excess energy from the food.

My girl was so good and well behaved in the restaurant as it was well passed her bedtime, but the chefs acrobatic cooking kept her from thinking about her tiredness. Tonight after my chest work out I’m going to do 50 press ups straight afterwards - on my knees if I have to. wanna really test myself. Until next time..

Ciao xxx

Did them and then about 25 minutes cardio afterwards, the cardio was a bit hard because my legs were hurting and felt odd (you know what I mean?) Legs were good, Squats, bent leg dead lifts, leg ext and leg curl, lunges and jumping lunges. It was quite hard work, squats are real hard but work my abs so much that I don’t bother really doing them at the mo.. probably just once or twice a week, and they are still revealling more each week. Squats work my abs good, good tip for you guys out there!

I know my legs will be sore for the next few days which I love and hate, I love it because I know that I’ve worked hard and done some good, but hate it because if I’m sitting down for too long and then get up, man they hurt;o))

My eating habits have been pretty consistent but find myself having cravings for a bit more fat - the almond butter. Either I actually do need more fat in my diet or this clean eating is just making me crave. Either way, I’ll monitor my physical changes over the next few weeks and see whether or not I should just stay strong and not have too much of the fat or up the carbs slightly. I don’t do the low carb thing because I don’t think I need to at the mo, I think I genetically have to have them, but if I ever did compete I’d have to cut them somewhat. I’d like to one day soon while I’m still young.

Gotta go get my daughter now x

Managed to go to the yesterday gym and do 45 mins of cardio… during the day which meant I had it out of the way to play with my daughter and do other things without that

lead up to it, like you’re waiting a whole day to do your workout and miss out on enjoying your day - if that makes sense..

Maybe it’s obssession more than it is passion, something that I need to keep in check, my whole day shouldn’t be governed around weights, cardio and diet and sometimes it sure as hell feels that way. I have a great partner and and fantastic lil girl, hopefully the keep me somewhat grounded, I do think that’s important. Now back to today!

Will be doing my legs today, I always feel like I don’t want to do it because it’s squats, lunges and legs in general which for me is always the most energy zapping workouts. But wants I get going I’m in the zone and loving it!

Will update later..