Every single holiday a d*ck in a box!
Thursday, January 4th, 2007Song of the Day
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Justin Timberlake - Dick in a Box
I first saw this Saturday Night Live skit as part of a drunken ramble at a New Year’s Eve get together at the house of someone I did not know showing me his TIVO skills. Needless to say, I was pretty lit off of a couple carafes of saki and a few mixed drinks so after about the first few seconds I was dying of laughter. Justin Timberlake by all accounts is one of the biggest pimps ever.
First off, I must preface this making it clear I am not gay. As you can already discern, I’m uncomfortable with my sense of virility and must spend hours in the gym trying to negate this personality flaw. It’s also why I feel compelled to state openly I’m not gay when I say I really like Justin or for this blog entries purposes, JT.
He first came on my radar when the multiplatinum group, N SYNC hit the airwaves in the nineties. Admittedly, I liked their music and still to this day have a few of their tunes in my Ipod. No, I don’t dance around in my underwhere trying to mimmick the moves I learned on Darren’s Dance Grooves, but nevertheless, good music is good music.
JT, was the only shining star in N SYNC. Yes, there was JC Chavez and Joey Fatone (he once hit on my ex-girlfriend in a club in Chicago) but Justin just seemed like the complete package. He sang lead in most of the songs and was by far the better dancer. I’m pretty sure Lance Bass didn’t mind backing him up either. It always appeared someday JT would spread his wings and fly away from his humble roots of boy bands and mouseketeering.
All in all, since N SYNC has disbanded and is only distant fantasy of most twenty something females at present, JT has become a superstar in his own right. He reminds me of a white version of the 80’s Michael Jackson minus the odd monkey and little boy fetish. He’s got the dance moves, an amazing stage presence, and even one thing MJ never seemed to grasp, an impressive list of female celebrity bed mates.
However, JT seems at times confused about his cultural heritage and perhaps in some wierd time continuum time warp some of Kevin Federline’s wannabeesm was transfered to him via Britney Spears. Who knows? He’s still a pimp in my book even if he is Vanilla Ice(ish) at times.
Eitherway, the sky is the limit for JT. Whether he is crying on camera and looks like a complete pussy while getting Punked by Ashton Kutcher, exposing Janet Jackson’s beautifully crafted surgically enhanced breast, or watching his ex-girlfriend make out with Madonna he always comes out unscathed and on top of the world. In a time when America needs good entertainment to escape the harsh realities of war and hegemony, JT brings a smile to the faces of millions of Americans looking for some good ole’ mind numbing entertainment. WWJD should stand for Who Would Justin Do in this day in age. I ask myself this very question everyday.
“This is the time
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