Needles, Vicodin, and Gout
Last week I was kicking the heavy bag and heard a pop in my foot. Within minutes it swelled up pretty bad and about ten minutes later I had some serious bruising. In all honesty, I thought I broke it so I took a trip to the ER.
Once I got there the triage nurse said I had one of two things wrong with my foot. Either it was broken or I had an acute flare up of Gout. I was thinking to myself "God I hope my foot isn’t broken and WTF is Gout?" After an painful multi-angle x-ray they determined there was no fracture. However, since they needed to rule out Gout too I had to be tested for it. This is where the fun began.
After my x-ray I was still in a lot of pain so they hooked me up with some Vicodin. So twenty minutes later I was feeling pretty good when in comes a couple Rheumatology Faculty and two residents. They explain to me that after they give me a local anesthetic they would have to aspirate the joint that connects my big toe to my foot. For those of you that don’t know what aspiration means it is using a needle to draw a sample which is less invasive than a surgical biopsy. Anyway, to test for Gout they had to actually stick the needle in between the two bones through the joint. High on Vicodin I thought it was pretty cool at the time.
After about five polks with the needle the damn resident finally got what he needed and off to the lab they went. With an aspiration test for Gout they are looking for a specific type of uracil crystal build up in the joint. They also did a blood draw to see if I had elevated uracil levels based on my high protein diet. High uracil levels can also lead to kidney stone formation.
So there I am getting ready to watch the Redskins lose to the Vikings and just enjoying the heck out of the 1000mg of Vicodin I’m on. A moment later Dr. Bell comes in and tells me I have normal uracil levels and that I don’t have Gout. I’m thinking to myself "Sweet..I don’t have a disease called Gout." She tells me I just have a serious contusion (bruise) and gives me a perscription for Naproxen. A little later a very young and cute nurse comes into discharge me and adjust some crutches so I don’t have to hop around like the Russian blonde in the Sopranos.
After the fact it was painful to walk for a few days. I didn’t use the crutches except for that first night. To shorten up a long story only until today was I able to really work out and perform a cardio session. 
One thing I’m pissed off about is I know feel like a guinea pig for some damn resident. Had I not been flying on Vicodin I might have been a little more critical of what was going on but shit happens.
September 20, 2006 at 11:17 pm
A guy at work here has/had gout - pretty painful from the looks and sounds of it - he wasn’t happy. Count yourself lucky! =)
May 27, 2008 at 9:20 pm
mmm… you wouldnt be alive if you were enjoying the heck out of a THOUSAND milligrams of vicodin…….. just putting it out there incase someone thinks its alright to take hundreds of vicodin pills..