Indomitable

Many years ago I worked out in a small gym where the heaviest dumbbells were only 60 pounds.  I hit a plateau and it wasn’t until I moved and found another gym that had heavier dumbbells that I made more progress.  There’s some advantages to dumbbell bench and incline presses, dumbbell rows, etc, that barbells just can’t duplicate.   At my new gym, with the heavier dumbbells, I had sorer muscles after the first few workouts and my strength increased as I got to use the heavier weights.

I was thankful for the heavier weights.  Over the years I realized that life and lifting are a lot alike.  

The greater the weight, the greater the pain, and the greater the progress.  

However, I often fail to see the pain in life as opportunities for getting stronger.  I’m sad to say that during our family Thanksgiving prayers, I’ve never offered, or heard offered, thanks for the painful things that happened in life, the losses, the hurt, the illness.  But as I look back, much of what has made great people great, are the hardships in their lives.  I’m not a great person, but I’m much better than I would be, more because of the painful things in my life than the easy things.  It’s a loving parent, and a loving God, that allows the pains of life to occur for our own good.

So I’m thankful for heavier weights, longer runs, harder cardio classes, and also the painful lessons and experiences in life..  They have shaped me inside and out.

And I’m grateful for the friends on this site that motivate me to make the most of the heavier weights and the other friends and family in my life that help me grow stronger during the hard times.

When I lift with my son, it’s like that saying about "watching your mother in law drive off of a cliff in your brand new car".  You have mixed emotions.    

When I lift with my son, I am so proud of him as he lifts heavier and heavier weights.  But it is so depressing to not be able to keep up with his rate of progress.  So the alpha male in me is always competing with him trying to out lift him, but the father in me is cheering him on hoping he’ll hit that point where he can out bench or out squat me.  The day is almost here, and it gets tougher and tougher.

But we have fun when we do and in all of the light hearted fun of our workouts, we both learned a lesson the other day.

We were doing drop sets with cable rows to really get our lats pumped.  So when it was his turn, he did as many reps as he could  and I was supposed to then take the pin out and drop the weight to the next bar in the stack so he could do the next set with little or no rest at a lower weight.   But because of the way the machine is set up, he couldn’t see the pin.  So I thought it would be funny to pull the pin out and put it back in the same spot.  So he goes for it and surprisingly, does about as many reps as he did on the last set until he can’t do any more.  So again, I pretend to drop the weight but I slam the pin right back in the same place, same weight.  But he doesn’t know this and he belts out another set of about as many reps.  Now, I’m trying my best not to laugh and he looks like he’s ready to pass out, but as I once again pull the pin and put it back in the same spot, he thinks the weight has dropped and keeps going, amazingly doing as many reps as he did the set before.  Finally, after another amazing couple of rounds of this, with his teeth gritted, his face red, his veins popping, breathing hard, I can’t help it and I burst out laughing.  

He of course, didn’t think it was all that funny because his lats and biceps were on fire.  But we were both amazed that he could do so many reps just because he THOUGHT he should be able to do them since he THOUGHT the weight was lighter.  The power of the mind to take you to the next level is amazing.  

So there’s times we don’t try harder because we’re just tired.  There are other times when we don’t because we don’t believe we can do more.  But when we do believe enough to at least go for it, we are often surprised and rewarded for that little bit of faith in ourselves.  It’s like Roger Bannister’s running of the first sub 4 minute mile in 1954 (no I wasn’t around back then) .  Up until then, most thought it was humanly impossible.  Within 3 years of him breaking the 4-minute mile barrier, 16 others had achieved that record (http://www.sptimes.com/News/121799/Sports/Bannister_stuns_world.shtml). Once athletes believed it was possible, they did it.  

We all have our own personal 4 minute mile barriers that must first be broken in the mind before it can be broken with our bodies.  That experience with my son reminded me of this important truth and it’s helped me to hit the gym believing that despite anything, I can get better, stronger and more fit.  

So I refuse to be conquered by barriers that are mental.  I will be “Indomitable”

T HE GUYS’ RULES¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

  FINALLY , THE GUYS’ SIDE OF THE STORY.
(I mus t admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear " THE RULES"
FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE… THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1.   MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.
YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN.
YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS. IT’S LIKE THE FULL MOON
OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.

1. SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT.
AND NO, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THINK OF IT THAT WAY.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR 17 MONTHS IS A PROBLEM.
SEE A DOCTOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU WON’T DRESS LIKE THE VICTORIA ‘S SECRET GIRLS, DON’T EXPECT US TO ACT LIKE SOAP OPERA GUYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON’T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THEM MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, THEN WE MEANT THE   other one

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it WILL BE SCRATCHED.
WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE, BESIDES WE KNOW YOU WILL BRING IT UP AGAIN LATER.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE… REALLY.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or GOLF.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE.   ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.
YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;

BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING.

Years ago, I had an inspirational spinning instructor that said, “It’s YOUR workout”.  

Those are three simple words that I have repeated in my mind more than any other phrase in they gym..  At the time, she was pushing us to up the tension on our bikes or pedal a little faster.  She pointed out that no one could really tell how hard we were trying, only us.  No one else would benefit from our workout that day, only us.  No one would really know how much we had left when we still had left when we left the class.  Only we would know.  She said, "it’s up to you, it’s YOUR workout!"

So over the years, I’ve caught myself saying that when trying to decide if I was going to up the weight, do one more rep, one more set, one more exercise.  Or like tonight, when I was in a kickboxing class,  I told myself “It’s MY workout”  and I tried to kick harder, punch harder, go deeper in my squats etc, and I pushed to the point where I was breathless, sucking wind, quads were burning and I got that feeling like I’m just about to puke.  

You cyclists know the phrase, “pedal til you puke” and some of you have been in those old school classes where you removed the seat so you had to stand the whole spinning class.  The heavy duty knuckle draggers also know what it’s like to squat until you’re nauseous and you have to run for the nearest trash can.  

I don’t read minds so I don’t know what’s going through your mind when you push yourselves to that point.  But those times when I got to that limit, in my mind, I’m reminding myself that “It’s MY workout”.  No one else can read my mind, and no one really knows if the weight I’m lifting is 100 % of what I have in me or just 80 %.  Heck, sometimes I don’t even know until I try it.  

Ok, to be honest, sometimes, I do push myself, not because “It’s my workout” but because there’s some hot chicks in the weight room or in the a spinning or kick boxing class and I don’t want them to think I’m a whimp.  Especially the kickboxing classes, because “my people” are supposed to be good at that kind of thing,  and that’s one stereotype I want to live up to in front of some hot babe.  Yah, I know, it’s my male ego.  

But then again, the significant other in my life told me not to kid myself.  She told me that it’s unlikely those chicks even notice me.  She said most of the time, women are checking out the other women, and comparing themselves to them.  Apparently, it’s some female feline competitive thing.  

So then I’m back to, “It’s MY workout”.  I don’t know if I’ll ever run into that teacher again, but that one class, she had more of an impact in my workouts than she could ever have imagined.  

So to sum it up, to be INDOMITABLE, ultimately, the battle is within me where no one else can fight it.  I and only I can refuse to be conquered by whatever it is that’s keeping me from my goals.  In the gym, It’s MY workout.  Outside the gym, same principle.  It’s MY life,  My Destiny. My Choice.  

To my friends who inspire me on this site and give me the example and strength to fight those battles, both inside and outside the gym, you have my love, respect and gratitude.  

Some time ago, I was in NYC taking a cab.  I really enjoy meeting new people fro different countries and cultures and try to learn about there native land, customs etc.  But this time I came across a different kind of learning.  This gentleman was from a village in a small country in South Africa.  I asked him what it was like where he grew up.  He said, " your peoples problems are my peoples dreams."  When I asked what he meant he elaborated, and I paraphrase -  He said, you have problems with your plumbing, people in my village dream of someday owning a home with plumbing, you have car problems, my people dream that someday, they may own a car, you have problems with your health insurance claims, my people dream of having proper healthcare, and he went on.  The list seemed endless, but I got the point.

But here he was.  He decided to come to this country and go for the dream.  He has a job, he’s saving money, some day, he will have those things that people in his village dream about because he went out of his comfort zone, came to a country, learned how to drive a car and is living in a place with plumbing.  And he’s just getting started.  He has plans for school, a better job, a family.  

A lot of us have dreams, or maybe visions of what we want to look like or be like.  Whether it’s muscle size or bodyfat, we shouldn’t give up on those dreams.  This site if full of skinny people who dreamed of getting buff, and did.  Of bigger people who wanted to get lean and are now fitness models.  What many consider insurmountable problems, these inspiring people turned into dreams of something better and achieved it.  

And then there’s some of my friends who are so dedicated, and have such high standards that they’re problems are other peoples dreams.  it doesn’t matter where we are on the spectrum.  We should dream past our problems, believe in them and go for them.  

Thanks to my inspiring friends and loved ones that never let me give up on my dreams and tell me to quit whining about my problems.

Met a young lady in kickboxing class who looked like she was 15 years younger than she told me she was. .  She was the most fit in the class by far and was adding moves and jumps when most of the rest of us were sucking wind trying to keep up.  I was surprised to find out that she had suffered a stroke a year or so ago.  She didn’t just recover, she was kicking some serious butt!  She was lean, striations in her delts and all.  Reminded me of an old poem by a guy named Henley.  There’s lots of others who I’m privileged to have on y friends list like her.  I post this in her honor and yours.

Invictus
by
William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903

OUT of the night that covers me,
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
  For my unconquerable soul.
  
In the fell clutch of circumstance
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.
  
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
  Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
  
It matters not how strait the gate,
  How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.

It’s 2:45 am and kind of a sleepless night so I’m on line looking through the progress pics of many of my friends who’ve been on this site awhile, especially those who Inspire me.

It made me think, it takes Will Power and determination to GET in shape, but will power itself comes and goes.  But it takes real Character to STAY in that kind of shape over time and improve on it.  And real character doesn’t come and go, it is who and what you are inside.  

I guess that’s why I look up to the people I do.  Not just because of the shape they are in, but because they’ve kept going and have not only stayed that way and continue to try to look better and be better.  It’s part of their character to set a high standard and not let it go of it when it gets tough.

So now instead of getting sleepier and wanting to go back to sleep, I wish I was back in Denver where they had a 24 Hour Fitness so I could go work out!

Indomitable