Good Bye September…Hello October
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008Happy Tuesday Y’all
Today is the last day of September, which means tomorrow is October 1st, which means, it is the first day of the 10th month of the year. Which means its the first day of the 10th month of my journey, of my transformation, of my renaissance.
At first I sat here and thought…wow, being sick and off track, and getting hit with life sh**, I just wasted the last 2 months. Where did August and September go? Jeez girl, could you have been any more of a slacker? I have been here a thousand times before, I get this far, and something clicks. I either get too much attention and I’m totally visable and it scares me, and I run the opposite direction. Or I use the excuse of well, life sucks right now, Im not gonna take care of myself and use food to numb my feelings of discomfort and disconnect. Basically try and bury my head in the sand. Well in the past this has not really worked for me. It just undoes all the hard work. And starts a vicious cycle of self destruction.
I started to kick myself for not being closer to my goal by today. But you know what. I have come a long way. 10 months ago, I could barely tie my shoes without losing my breath. 10 months ago, I wouldn’t have dared to get dressed up and show off my body. 10 months ago I was just not the Jill I am today. And it is OK that I am not at goal yet.
The last 2 months have been a struggle. Im not going to lie. I have given in to a few nights of binging. But I have managed to maintain my weight, and still workout. Im allowed to have bad days. Im allowed to have a moment to take it all in and regroup. To me this is bigger than the 57 lbs I have lost. This is what its all about. Anyone can go on a diet and lose weight and lift weights and get cut. But changing the behavior that got me overweight in the first place. This is where the real work begins. And you know what, I have come along way, and hell, I am proud of myself.
As I always say this is a journey not a race and I am in it for the long haul. Anything worth having is worth fighting for and I am not done fighting.
So with that I say…21 day cut…BRANG IT…I can do anything for 21 days. Keep an eye on me. I will not disappoint.
J.Lo.






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