csiems’s BodyBlog

I did 7 pull-ups yesterday!!!!! So happy with that!

Ok, seriously - I can remember as far back as freshman year in high school, and I was still dealing with the same thing!  Eating habbits - lack of good ones, and lack of self control!  15 years of this bullshit!  Very frustrated with myself.  I want to be able to be happy in my own skin.  I want to develop daily habbits and routines I don’t stray from.  I want to be boring and predictable in my eating.  My workouts - I’ve been going through the motions, but not going all out.  I put some heart into it on Monday, and can’t wait to get back tomorrow.  Seriously, I am 28.  I have dealt with the same problem for 15 years.  I am too smart and experienced for this.  I know the answer, I just need to do it. 

I know that you shouldn’t compare your current weight with that of when you were in high school - but it’s hard not too.  Why is that number on the scale so controlling.  Logically I know its not important - but it still seems to matter to me anyways. 

Why is it so hard to get back on the band wagon you’ve fallen off? I was doing so well with eating. I was actually proud of myself! Then I fell off for a weekend…which has turned into two weeks! I am so mad and frusterated at myself. I was at a body fat I was feeling better about. Two weeks can do a tremendous amount of damage to gains made. I have stocked my fridge with healthy foods, and packed my meals for tomorrow. Please wish me luck, cuz I will probably need it!  I logically know once you fall off that its hard to get back - its just like missing a couple workouts.  Consistancy, consistancy, consistance!

So, I had a really fun past week with my kiddo and his friends - the bad thing is, I fell off track with my eating choices.    It’s amazing how much of a difference a week can make in both physical appearance, and how I feel about myself.  I have tried for a few days to get back on track with my food choices - have not had much success.  So, last night I packed everything ahead of time, so convience should not be a hindering issue today.  We’ll see how it goes.  So far, so good.  I just know if I can get one day down, the rest comes much easier.  I really want to make it at least one full week without cheating.  I tend to do worse in reaching my goals after getting my bf checked, or weighing in on a scale.  Not sure why that is.  Perhaps the smart thing to do would be to stop doing those things!

So, I had a really fun past week with my kiddo and his friends - the bad thing is, I fell off track with my eating choices.    It’s amazing how much of a difference a week can make in both physical appearance, and how I feel about myself.  I have tried for a few days to get back on track with my food choices - have not had much success.  So, last night I packed everything ahead of time, so convience should not be a hindering issue today.  We’ll see how it goes.  So far, so good.  I just know if I can get one day down, the rest comes much easier.  I really want to make it at least one full week without cheating.  I tend to do worse in reaching my goals after getting my bf checked, or weighing in on a scale.  Not sure why that is.  Perhaps the smart thing to do would be to stop doing those things!

5 Pull-ups today!  Half way to my goal of ten!  Yeah!  Plus, I did one "L" pull-up. 

So, I have been eating better.  Occasional cheats, but nothing too major.  However, I do rely upon protien shakes and bars often.  A trainer had mentioned to me that’s not too good.  I agree, but not sure I understand why.  Oh well.  I think I need to become more strict with my diet - less shakes and bars, and more ‘real’ food.  I have all I need in the fridge to complete my mission - now, it’s just a matter of putting in all the planning, preparing, and effort into it!

Tommorrow I’m teaching a burn and turn class for the first time.  It’s a combo of half boot camp, half cycle.  I typically teach Yoga and Pilates.  I want these people having to crawl out of the room tomorrow! (Due to fatigue, not injury!)  Since people know me as the Yoga instructor, I think it may be a little hard to break through that barrier.  But, participants beware - your but is mine tomorrow!  Wish me luck!

Ok, I have to rant.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been sick off and on since November 4th.  I have seen two doctors, both of which said that is typical of having a small child.  Been there, done that the past three years - this is different.  Why is my child well, and my husband well, when in the past we were all sick together?  I was sent in for testing, only because they were humoring me.  I was passed off like I didn’t know what I was talking about.

So, last night I went in to have my body fat checked (16.7% - yeah!!!).  But, the personal trainer advised me not to lose anymore because it would compromise my immune system.  After I told him my story, he agreed that is why I have been sick so much.  Why could a personal trainer who only has to study 3 months to pass a test tell me why I’m sick all the time, but two doctors who studies 8 years + couldn’t?  This sort of thing infuriates me.  We put our trust and health into the hands of doctors, and half the time we are dismissed with our concerns.  I went though a similar thing with my son when he was a new born.  It took 4 doctor visits over the course of 6 months to tell us he had exzema.  It’s not like that is a rare thing in young children.  They should have been able to diagnose this on the first visit! 

Anyways, I just had to get that off my chest.  Thanks for reading!

Day two.  I survived!  Cals: 1454, Fat: 35.8, Sugars: 28.02, Protien: 141.26.  Still have cravings, but I just go to Chickentuna’s profile when I need to find some will power.  33 days left to hopefully notice a difference from eating clean.