My BodyBlog

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I wish one and all a happy and healthy holiday season!

Every person and family has their own traditions for celebrating the festivities.  Some are religious or cultural, some have been learned from parents, others have grown out of their own relationships and families.  What most of these traditions hold in common is food.  Lots of it, and for many it leads to over-indulging in food and alcohol too.

My own traditions are very simple.  My household is just my wife and I, and we don’t go all out to decorate, bake, cook or do many of the traditional things that couples with children do.  We prefer a quiet and simple holiday.  Since we’ve been together, the Christmas season has been a time to escape from the daily grind, relax, and recharge our batteries.  Oh yes, and to eat.  Eat whatever we want, how much we want, and when we want.  The week between Christmas and New Year’s has always been a time to throw all healthy eating practices out the window and reward ourselves by gourging on whatever food we desired.

Did I feel guily about this annual eating orgy?  Not really!  After all, it’s only once a year.  Everyone else is over-indulging at this time of year, why shouldn’t I?  And since I’ve been working out it’s been even easier to justify the gluttony, since I could say to myself ‘I’ll make up for this at my next workout’.  In reality, eating like this once a year probably doesn’t mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of things.  Lots of health-conscious people treat themselves over the holidays, and it doesn’t change their overall motivation and commitment to a healthy lifestyle.  Why am I making such a big deal about it?

To pig out like that again this year would be a huge defeat for me.  In my mind it would wipe out all of the success I’ve had in managing my food over the past three months.  I’d feel guilt, disgust, discouragement just like when, many years ago, I went on diets that inevitably failed.  I’m not going to put myself in a position where I can feel those negative emotions again.

As I type this I am making a vow to myself (for all the world to witness) that I will not succumb to the tempation of binging this holiday season.  I will not lose sight of my fitness goals for even one day or one meal.  From a food perspective, I will treat every day like all others. 

The hardest tradition for me to break will be our annual ‘movie day’.  We’d rent 4 or 5 DVD’s, turn off the phones, and settle down for a relaxing day watching them.  Perhaps more important that the movies was the junk food.  We’d binge on our favourites, which for me was potato chips, cheese sticks and chocolate.  I’d eat until I couldn’t eat any more.  In between movies we’d get take-out.  Chinese food or fried chicken usually.  While enjoying the food at the time, afterwards I’d always feel bloated and uncomfortable.  Looking back now, it seems insane that I’d do that to myself.

Yesterday, in a moment of weakness, I thought ‘maybe I will eat a few chips and a little chocolate when we get our movies.  It will only be one time, and what harm can it do?’  Then, I looked in the mirror.  I remembered what I looked like before in comparison to what I see now.  Eating for pleasure is what led to my unfit body and I won’t take a chance on slipping back into that mindset, not even for one day.  Call me obcessed, I don’t care.  Either I eat healthy every day or not at all.  It’s the only way I know how to manage my relationship with food in a way that works for me.  I know there will be minor setbacks, those I can handle.  What I refuse to do ever again is PLAN to eat unhealthy food or binge eat or eat for pleasure.

This year I’m starting my new holiday tradition.  Eat all of the turkey I want (lean protein!) and keep my body moving! 

I am not a stupid person.  When it comes to nutrition, I have a lot of practical knowledge, gained from personal experience and decades of reading and observation.  In spite of that, it is only very recently I have had the proper motivation necessary to put my knowledge into practice.  I have arrived at the point where sensible nutrition has become a cornerstone of my new healthy lifestyle.

In business, most successful people have one or more failures, many have even gone bankrupt.  However, they learn important lessons from their failures that they carry with them and use as a foundation for future success.  I believe the same applies to dieting. 

I dislike even using the word ‘dieting’!  I believe that the concept of dieting is so frought with negativity that most ‘dieters’ are doomed to failure right from the start.  I’ve certainly had my fair share of dieting failures, and by reflecting on them I’ve learned important lessons that have helped me develop a new attitude towards food.  I hope that by reading about my experiences, you might learn something too.

I felt like a fat kid right from my earliest memories growing up.  I was chubby, mostly in the stomach, but not grossly obese like so many of the kids we see in North American society today.  I remember being put on diets by my Mother who, of course, wanted me to lose weight for my own good.  In reality, she had no knowledge about proper nutrition so I was given a lot of non-nutritious food to eat, and a diet focused on semi-starvation instead of replacing bad food with good food.  I remember one diet, where, after supposedly being good for a week, I was given a package of Smarties before going to bed as a reward.  How was this supposed to teach me that this type of food was bad?  It just teased me and made me crave my junk food even more.  Anyway, I don’t blame my Mother for the dieting and nutrition failures because she had little knowledge of good practices from which to draw.  She was taking care of me in the way that was practical and familiar to her, based on how she was brought up.  I recall she had her own dieting challenges as well.

My weight went up and down during grade school and high school.  I was not athletic, so I didn’t have the advantage of physical activity to help keep the body fat off.  My exericise consisted of a little walking and bike riding in the summer.  I ate whatever was presented to me at home and at school, and I ate lots of junk food, just like most of my peers.  I wasn’t too bothered by weight, it wasn’t an issue except when I was buying clothes and felt disgusted at myself because my waist size kept going up.

At the age of 15, my life was thrown into turmoil by my Mother’s illness.  For a year she was hospitalized frequently, and when at home she was unable to do much except rest.  I was the only child at home, my Father worked, so it fell on me to cook many of the meals.  A relative would stay with my Mother during the day, and I would come home after school and be in charge of getting something ready for the evening meal, guided by my Mother.  We usually had what was easiest to make, and often we had fast food.  During the summer months, I stayed with my Mother as her health deteriorated, and again it was my responsibility to get most of the meals.  This was not an easy time for a boy just turned 16, and as happens in many stressful situations to many people, I embraced food for comfort and for distraction from the difficulties of my daily life.  Junk food became my best friend.  I had chocolate bars and potato chips on daily basis.  I can remember making special trips to the corner store after dark on my bike for the sole purpose of getting a bar and large bag of chips, then coming home and devouring it all in front of the TV as my parents slept.  Comfort and distraction.

My Mother passed away in October of the year I turned 16.  This trauma was not handled well by my family, so needless to say junk food continued to be my main source of comfort and part of my everyday life.  As you can see, I had a poor start in life from a nutritional point of view, compounded by difficult personal circumstances.  I left home a year after my Mother died to attend University.  How would this new circumstance change my relationship with food?  Find out in my next blog post!

In a previous blog I wrote about how bodybuilding has given me the confidence to learn how to ice skate.  Time for an update on my progress!

I went today, it was my fourth session.  I’ve been going once a week.  I am amazed with my progress!  My first time, my feet and shins were paining like crazy, and I was only able to get around the rink 3 times, and with poor technique.  Today, I skated around the rink 16 times, my technique is much improved, and my feet were comfortable in my skates for the entire time!  Why the improvement?

Firstly, I learned how to tie my skates correctly!  I was told by a couple of skaters to tie them very tightly, but that didn’t work for me.  Since I have a very good pair of skates, and they fit snugly, by tying them up so tightly I was cutting of my circulation!  As they say you learn from your mistakes, so today I tried tying them tightly on the bottom by the toes, then normally up the rest of the foot and up the boot part over the ankle.  I pulled the laces tightly at the top before tying the bow.  This turned out great, I didn’t cut off my circulation and my feet were still supported by the skate boot.  I think that getting over this hurdle has been my most important step so far.

Since my feet were so comfortable I was motivated to skate longer today.  I could also concentrate on technique.  I’ve been watching how the other skaters move their feet and push off to gain momentum.  I’m trying to do the same, but it’s not easy!  I find that I’m better with my right foot, whereas when I try to do a correct stride with my left foot I feel more off balance.  I am encouraged by my progress however, and the positive comments I’m getting from the othe skaters boosts my confidence too.

Another first at the rink today.  I fell on my ass!  It’s the first time I’ve fallen down, and I’ve been expecting it to happen sooner or later.  I had no idea what happened, I was going straight and didn’t feel like I was losing my balance.  I was prepared though, I was wearing my helmet.  I didn’t hurt myself at all, and I had no trouble getting up without touching the boards.  I’m glad it happened since now I can put it out of my mind and feel even more confident as I skate, knowing that falling down is no big deal.

Oh yes, I worked up a good sweat today too!  My head was soaked when I was finished!  As I get better I hope that skating can become a good cardio activity for me.  It’s also a great leg workout too.  Some guys told me that a new skater always has a lot of soreness in their inner thighs and calves for a couple of days after they first try skating.  I didn’t have any soreness at all, something I thank bodybuilding for since I’ve been working out my legs regularly so the stress and strain of skating was not a problem for them to handle.

I’ve come so far in four sessions, and with my skate tying challenge solved, I can’t wait to see how much I improve in the weeks and months to come!

Sorry for the corny title, I just couldn’t resist!  Why is that muscle group so appealing to me?  Why do I find myself working abs harder than ever before?  Why have I cut out most fats from my diet and why am I doing more cardio?  Why have I developed this obcession with abs?

I’ve never been able to see my abs.  Most of my life I’ve had a gut, sometimes a small one, sometimes a larger one.  The fat has been a constant companion for most of my life.  I did lose most of my fat one time, though.  I was in my final semester of college, and I decided to go on a trip to Mexico after graduation with a group of friends.  I decided to lose weight so I could look good for the beach.  I joined Weight Watchers, and followed the diet strictly.  By following the diet, and doing a lot of walking I made the pounds melt off.  I started at 215 and 4 months later I was 175.  I was the thinnest I had ever been my adult life, but was I strong or well defined?  No!  My abs were nowhere to be seen; my stomach was flat.

So, vacation over, goal met, I did what so many people who focus on ‘weight-loss by diet’ only tend to do.  Over the subsequent years I slipped back into many of my unhealthy eating patterns (even though I knew better - I had no motivation to change my lifestyle) and I gained back all of the body fat and a little more to boot.  Thankfully, 45 months ago I began to work out again (see previous blog on motivation for the full story).  I began to lose body fat while building lean muscle mass.  I have been transforming my body and I’m proud of my accomplishments.  I can now look in the mirror and see my body growing.  But, gosh darn it, I still can’t see my abs!  I’ve been working them regularly using many different exercises.  I push myself to the point of being sore for 2 days afterwards.  I know they are growing because when I push and prod myself I can feel them under that layer of fat, just waiting to come out and show themselves off!

Why do I want to see my abs?  Lots of guys at my gym are stonger and fitter than me, yet they have some body fat covering their abs.  Many of them don’t even work out their abs.  This situation doesn’t seem to concern them, I guess they don’t consider their abs as important as their arms, chest, back or legs.  I don’t feel this way at all!  I feel that abs are an essential part of the complete package that I want to see in the mirror!  Reading about bodybuilding on this site and elsewhere, I know that serious bodybuilders feel this way too.  Having a ‘6 pack’ is a sign that you have ‘arrived’ at a place where only a small minority of people in society these days can get to…a level of fitness that is only attained with a great deal of dedication and hard work.

Bringing out my abs is now a short-term goal that I have set for myself.  I plan to achieve it by continuing to work them hard as often as I feel they can take it, and by doing some cardio every day if possible.  I’ve also changed my nutrition habits, cutting out everything bad and eating much more lean protein.  After about 6 weeks I can see a difference, and I’m not going to give up until I achieve my goal.

For me, seeing my abs will symbolize a level of success that I never dreamed could be possible when I started working out.  The ’chubby guy’ will have transformed into the ‘muscular guy with the great abs’. 2008 will be the year it happens.  This is my first blog post about my abs, but it won’t be my last.  Don’t wish me luck, since it’s not luck that got me to this point and it won’t be luck that keeps me progressing.  It will be dedication, commitment and hard work, all part of a new lifestlye that I have come to love. 

I’ll leave it up to the behavioral psychologists and other experts to properly explain what motivation is all about.  There are thousands of books and articles out there devoted to the subject.  My comments are strictly based on my unscientific observations and personal feelings.  If you’re interested in those, read on!

I see motivation (not just in bodybuilding, but in everything we do) as being influenced by two major things: 1) Whether it is primarily derived from internal or external factors, and 2) how ‘deep’ your goals are for the activity.  I believe your level of commitment to anything is greatly influenced my how motivated you are, and the motivation is determined by the mix of 1) and 2).  I can explain this better with examples.

1)When someone starts to go to he gym, they have a reason why they started and why they continue to go.  If they go because their friends and co-workers go, it seems like the ’in’ thing to do, or they have their membership paid by work so they might as well use it, I see these as external motivations.  On the other hand, if they go because they’ve decide they want to be fitter and improve their health, then that’s internal motivation.

2) If someone goes to the gym with the primary goal being to lose 20 pounds and look better on the beach during their upcoming vacation, that’s a ’surface level’ motivation.  On the other hand, if someone goes to the gym because they want to transform their body as part of a change in lifestyle that is intended to be long-term, then that is a deep motivation.

In reality, with respect to working out, what motivates a person is a mixture of internal and external factors, and goals which could be surface level or deep.  Every individual will have different levels of commitment and dedication since everyone is influenced by different factors and has different goals.  And of course, motivation for the same activity can change over time as the influencing factors and goals change.  I believe that the more a person is influenced by internal factors, and the deeper their goals are, they more motivated they will be to the activity.

I know my ‘theory’ is confusing at first read.  But hey, who ever said explaining human behavior would be simple?  As I talk about my own motivation, I’ll try to illustrate how my ‘theory’ explains my own motivation.

I’m ignoring the fact I went to the gym for 1 year in the early 90’s.  That seems like a lifetime ago, and it’s not relevant to why I started going in March, 2004.  Simply put, I went because my wife wanted me to.  She had never been before, and was curious to see if she’d like it, and didn’t want to go alone.  I had no good reason to say no to her, so we got up one morning and went (this is an external factor).  Also, I was just a little curious to see how I would like a small workout (this is an internal factor, although at the surface level in terms of goals).

My wife enjoyed her first workout and she wanted a three month membership.  I agreed and said I would go with her, even though I didn’t think I’d have much time to go due to my busy work schedule and the fact that I had other activities (nothing pysical) to occupy my leisure time.  At the beginning of that three months, I started going again because of external influences (my wife and not wanting the membership fee to go to waste!) and my goals were only to maybe tone up a little bit and feel better (still very surface level).

Over the course of that first 3 months, there was an amazing transformation.  Not in my body, that would take years and is still a work in progress.  Rather, a transformation in my motivation.  After a couple of weeks I started to very much look forward to our three mornings a week gym sessions, and when my wife was done after about 45 minutes I started to find I was just starting to feel good and wanted to stay and do more (an internal factor was starting to influence me).  I was doing circuit training on machines, and after two weeks it was starting to get easier and I was starting to increase the weight a notch or two.  I was impressed by my progress and wanted to continue to improve.  Also, I was watching others workout with dumbells and barbells, and I wanted to give it a try (deeper goals than when I started).  This progression in my motivation continued for the three months.  Every improvement I made in my strength and endurance, every new thing I learned about different exercises and using different equipment, all these factors (Internal) increased my enjoyment level and increased my motivation to go back the next time.

I remember one day, near the end of that first three months, when it was our regular day to go.  My wife decided that she wasn’t in the mood to go (for various reasons, not important to relate), so I didn’t go either.  It was an easy decision to make at the time, since I had a lot of work to do in my home-based business and going by myself was not something I had ever thought about.  Not going to the gym that day really bothered me.  It was on my mind all day, because I knew in my heart there was no good reason for me not to go.  More than that, it seemed like my body wanted me to go.  I felt like I had some pent-up energy inside me that was demanding to be released.  Sounds weird, but that’s now I felt.  The next day I had an out of town business trip and I didn’t get home until late.  The day after, I had a deadline to meet and was working flat out until early evening.  The gym was open until 9, so I asked my wife if she wanted to go and she said something to the effect that ‘we don’t always have to go together, why don’t you go by yourself if you want to go so much’.  So, I went.

The gym was crowded that night, much more so than in the mornings.  There were men there who obviously had been working out a long time.  I felt a little out of place and intimidated by the evening gym environment, but I pushed ahead and did my usual machine circuit training.  I felt proud of myself for going alone, and it was around this time I began to think in terms of ‘this is something that I want to do for awhile and see what it can do for me’ (goal vague but becoming deeper).

When the 3 months were up, my wife decided she’d rather get her exercise walking outdoors, so she decided to forget about the gym, at least for the summer months.  I remember being scared of the prospect of giving it up, fearing that I might lose the modest progress I had made, and worst of all, what if I didn’t go back at all?  At that time, I had reached a crossroads in my life.  I was about to turn 38 and I was well aware of the benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle, even though I hadn’t really been doing so.  I had no health problems, but there was high blood pressure and diabetes in the family so I believed myself to be at high risk to develop these later in life (if I didn’t take any steps to avoid them).  I thought to myself maybe this might be the last chance I have to get on the road to living a truly healthy lifestyle, and if I don’t seize this opportunity now, maybe I will never find the courage to start again later in life.  Encouraged by my experiences over the first 3 months, and motivated by a desire to make a real change, I decided to buy a full year’s membership.  My motivation to do this was Internal (I was doing it primarily to benefit myself) and it was Deep (my new goal was to change my lifestlye so I could get healthier and avoid chronic health problems).

During that first year, sometimes faced with the realities of going to the gym when I was tired, pressed for time, or just didn’t want to face going out an a cold evening, motivation didn’t come easy.  My overall motivation remained, but sometimes its easy to put a workout off for one or two days if there are reasons you can justify to yourself.  I did it more than once, but as time went on I procrastinated less.  I had a key so I could go after hours and weekends, so I always got in three workouts every seven days, even if they were bunched together.  As long as I did this I felt I was succeeding and I would make slow, but steady progress.  By the end of that first year, I had made noticable progress in losing body fat and gaining muscle.  I was using barbells and dumbells regularly, and felt a lot more comfortable at the gym, no matter who else was there.  I remember the first time a ‘very fit regular lifter’ commented that he could see a lot of change in my body since I began and that he thought I had a great base and body shape and could accomplish a lot if I kept working out.  I tell you, after that I was on cloud nine!  A little compliment like that did wonders to improve my confidence and increase my motivation to keep working at it.

As I learned about proper technique, how to target muscle groups, and so much more I have improved every aspect of my gym experience and this kept reinforcing my dedication and commitment.  Every little bit of progress and achieving the small goals (usually doing more reps, more weight, or a different exercise) that I kept setting for myself improved my motivation.  After that full year’s membership was up (15 months total working out), renewing for another year was automatic.  Working out had become such a rewarding experience, both mentally and pysically, that giving it up was not even an option.  My motivation was high at that point since it was entirely Internal and came from deep goals for maintaining a life-long active lifestyle and staying healthy.

So, that is how I came up with my ‘Theory of Motivation’, it was based on what actually happened to me during that first 15 months.  I have also casually chatted with a lot of people at the gym about their motivation.  Many are motivated by much different things that I am, some (not many!) are even more motivated than I am.  But the thing I have noticed consistently is that people who are motivated by internal factors and have deep goals which are important to them are they one who are the most dedicated and in turn are the ones who have made the most progress.

So, where am I now with my own motivation?  I’ve been going to the gym for 45 months.  I go 4 times a week (unless something in my life makes it impossible or my body tells me I need an extra day recovery).  I workout for an average of 1 1/2 hours, plus I do some cardio everyday, either at the gym or elsewhere.  My workouts are designed to target different muscles on the basis of doing every muscle group at least every 10 days.  Lately I try to do the big 3 compound exercises (squat, bench press, dead lift) once during that 10 day cycle.  I also try to change up my exercises regulary to avoid boredom and keep my body guessing.  I also am much more serious about my nutrition than I ever have been before (that’s a topic for more blogs!).  I read a lot to gain more knowledge about bodybuilding.  What is motivating me to do all this??

I’m achieving my goals.  I feel healthier, stronger and have more energy at 42 than at any other time in my life.  I had blood work and other tests done in September, and everything checked out fine!  My body continues to transform, and I feel some pride when I look at myself in the mirror.  My confidence and self-esteem have increased, which in turn has impacted on every aspect of my life.  I am being asked for advice by others on how I workout.  My knowledge of bobybuilding is increasing and I feel like part of a community by using bodybuilding.com and interacting with other members.  I feel like I have a lot more I can accomplish and each workout is a small but important step towards achieving my specific workout goals and my overall lifestyle goal.  I am at the point in my life where I can say with certainty that bodybuilding is an essential part of what defines me as a person and it is something that will be an important part of me for the rest of my life.

How’s that for motivation??!!

I had such a great workout at the gym last night I felt like I needed to write about it!  I finished it 22 hours ago and I am still on a high from it.  First of all, I had 3 full days off, so I was itching to get to the gym and I was feeling great.  When I arrived the only other person there was just leaving, so I had the gym all to myself for a full 2 hours.  I usually like having other people around when I workout, but for some reason last night it just felt right to be there alone with my own thoughts.  I planned a back and traps workout, with some calves thrown in for variety.  I also planned to start my workout by trying deadlifts again.

I always knew the deadlift was a very good compound exercise, but for some reason I just never got around to incorporating it into my workouts.  I’ve always done squats and bench press, but the deadlift just didn’t excite me.  Anyway, I finally decided to try them about 4 months ago.  I’d been watching a couple of big guys doing them, and thought ’it doesn’t look very hard, I’ll give it a go.’  I watched what they were doing, and at my next workout I started it by trying 90 lbs.  I did 4 reps, then added 2 more plates for a total of 134 lbs.  I did only 1 rep and it was hard!  More than that, I just didn’t feel comfortable with the whole movement.

Up until last night I had tried the deadlift on only about 6 different occasions.  My personal best was 206, and it was a shaky lift.  I just couldn’t get comfortable over the bar, and started to feel frustrated with it since I knew I should be able to do better.  It has also been on my mind that if I don’t do the deadlift with proper form I am at great risk of an injury.  I was doing the lift the same way I’d seen others doing it, so it had to be the correct way, right?  WRONG!

Before going to the gym last night, I looked up the deadlift using the exercise directory on bodybuilding.com.  I could see right away 2 things I wasn’t doing right.  I printed it off and brought it with me.  What a difference!  Two small changes (standing closer to the bar and using a reverse grip on one hand) were all I needed.  I started by doing 6 reps at 90 lbs and it was amazing!  I felt so comfortable I could have done many more, but I didn’t want to tire myself too quickly.  I doubled the weight, to 180.  I focused on my form and although it was heavy it felt good and I did 2 reps with little difficulty!  I was pumped!  I had broken through a barrier, both mental and physical.  Suddenly confident, I wondered how far I could push it!  I put on 2 more 45 plates for a total of 270. 

As I looked at the bar on the floor with those 6, 45 lb plates, I thought about how far I had come with my workouts and body transformation.  When I started out, if someone had told me I would contemplate lifting so much weight, I would have told them they were crazy!  But here I was.  I felt I could lift 270, but after just discovering the proper form, could I do it that same workout?  Or should I even try to push it so much so quickly.  I decided to give it a try, but to be very careful.  The last thing I wanted was an injury.  I stood over the bar, set my grip, squat down and….I couldn’t lift the darn thing.  I was a little surprised, since I’d done 180 with no great problem.  I rested for awhile, then set myself up again.  I gave that lift everything I had, and I got it off the floor maybe a couple of inches.  I knew that was it, and set it down.  I realized I was going to have to work up to that weight, but since I now knew the proper form it would only be a matter of time before I did it.  So, I did 2 reps at 180, but couldn’t do 270.  My personal best was 206, so now, with proper form, surely I could do a personal best?  I changed the plates to 224 lbs, and did one solid rep!  What a great feeling to do a personal best but more than that, I know I’m going to keep getting better!

Well, that set the tone for my entire workout.  Filled with confidence, I did personal bests with barbell bent over rows, seated cable pulls, smith machine shrugs, and even calf presses on the leg press machine!  Today is an off day (did a brisk walk for some cardio), and I’m back at it tomorrow, doing abs and triceps.

I could continue to make progress and achieve personal bests without ever doing the deadlift.  What pushed me to keep trying the deadlift, even though it wasn’t going well?  For that matter, why do I continue to push myself to lift more weight and do more reps?  Why is this 42 year old non-athletic desk jockey pushing himself to have the best body he can have?  It’s a question of motivation, which is what I’ll talk about in my next blog post!  Time to go watch the season finale of Survivor!

Huh?  What could bodybuilding and ice skating possibly have in common?  Well, they are both physical activities and lots of hockey players work out with weights.  Some former amateur hockey players are probably amateur bodybuilders.  But for me, the link is much stronger.  Three weeks ago I tried ice skating for the first time.  I had my latest session this morning. 

For all those of you in warmer climates who have never tried, believe me, getting on the ice and being able to move around without falling on your ass is no easy feat!  Learning to skate is best done when you’re young, when you’re fearless, bold, and don’t care about falling or looking awkward or foolish.  When you start learning at age 42 you bring a lot of baggage to the rink with you, and I’m not talking about your skates!  I’m skating with adults 50 years plus who can skate circles aroung me, including one 80 year old lady!  I’ve even had to get advice on how to properly tie my skates!  After all these years of thinking about learning how to skate and never doing anything about it, why am I taking the plunge now?  Well, I have some motivation.  My 4 year old newphew is learning to skate, and there’s no one in his family for him to go with.  If I can skate it would be an activity we could do together, and that would mean a lot to me.  However, if it wasn’t for bodybuilding, I never would have even tried.

Confidence!  That’s what bodybuilding has given me.  Confidence to try something I’ve always wanted to try but never had the courage!  I have transformed my body over the past 4 years thanks to working out and eating cleaner.  More than that, knowing I look better has changed how I relate to other people and social situations.  Before, I would shy away from bringing attention to myself since I was afraid people would judge me on how I looked rather than who I was inside.  I would hate to stand out in a crowd, so doing something like trying to ice skate when all those around me could do it, well in my mind that would be out of the question.  In the end it all comes down to self-esteem.  I have plenty of it now, thanks to bodybuilding. 

When I started working out, the gym was pretty much a foreign environment to me.  I went mostly when I knew there would be few people there, and when it was crowded I would pretty much stay in one area.  Again, I had a fear of being judged for how I looked and was afraid of doing something the wrong way and making myself look foolish.  I was comparing myself to how other people looked, which I know in hindsight was silly.  But deep inside I knew that going to the gym was the right thing to do.  It was something I felt I had to do, no matter what.  As I learned more about different exercises, proper form, and how to work different muscles, I could see the changes in my body starting.  My self-esteem began to rise, and I reached out to other people at the gym, even if just to say hello.  I saw people starting their own journey, starting in a place far more challenging than when I started.  I admired them for having the courage to make a change in their lives.  I wasn’t judging them for how they looked.  I realized over time that no one at the gym was judging me either! 

As the months of commitment and dedication turned into almost 4 years, and I have been rewarded with great progress and results (with better things to come!), I have also transformed my attitude towards many things in life.  My self-esteem is high since I know I am in control of my own body and I have renewed confidence as I go about my daily life.  So that brings me to ice skating.  Do you see the parallels between starting at they gym and starting to learn how to ice skate?  When I strapped on thoses skates, all of the inhibitions and self-doubt that would have held me back before were swept away by a new found sense of confidence, and a positive attitude!  So what if I’m new at it, so what if everyone is looking at me, so what if it takes me awhile to learn?  Life is about having new experiences.  You only fail if you don’t try.  So if there’s something new you want to try my advice is to GO FOR IT!  I have to go now and soak my feet….seriously though, I can see slow and steady improvement and I’m determined to keep at it until I can skate reasonably well.  It will just take time and commitment, like everything else in life that’s worthwhile, especially bodybuilding.  So for me, bodybuilding really does equal ice skating!  Now, if only I could get some of those 50+ skaters to the gym and show them how to bench press or dead-lift…they have no idea what they are missing!

I’ve been on my body transformation journey since March 1, 2004.  For the most part, its been a lonely road.  My wife is glad I am doing something I enjoy and is good for me, but she doesn’t want to listen to me talk about it.  I don’t have a workout partner, and I don’t know of any personal trainers in the small town I live in.  There are a few ‘regulars’ at the gym I chat with from time to time between sets, but its not the same as having someone I can share my thoughts with on a daily basis about something we are both dedicated to.

Then, about two months ago, I discovered bodybuilding.com!  I had no idea such a great site existed!  What a treat it was to explore the site, reading articles, profiles and blog posts, watching videos, and learning so much about the fitness and bodybuilding world!  I learned many things that I have incorporated into my workouts and nutrition, and I am already seeing the difference in my body after only a few short weeks!

Even better than what I’ve learned, I now feel I am part of a community of like-minded people.  I began sending and receiving comments, I’ve been recognized as a friend, I’ve begun to record my stats and I use the workout tracker.  This site has made me realize that I AM NOT ALONE, and it has given me a new sense of pride in what I’ve accomplished and renewed motivation to keep working!

Finally, to my Blog.  I’ve always loved to write, and have been writing short stories, articles and other things for my own pleasure most of my life.  It’s only been a hobby, something to release my creative energy.  A lot of it I’m sure is very amateurish, but it’s been good enough for me.  Then, I decided to give the bodybuilding.com blog a try.  What a rush!  I can write about (or babble on about) something I am really interested in, and there might actually be someone out there who may be interested in reading it!  If not, that’s still fine, because for me the satisfaction comes from expressing myself in writing.  Since doing my first couple of posts and actually getting a positive comment, ideas for more posts have been flooding into my brain!  The problem is getting the time when I can sit down and actually write!  I sat down tonight to write about motivation but realized I didn’t have the time to say everything on my mind, so instead I started to type about my discovery of this site and how much it has contributed so far to my progress.  I’m looking forward to doing my next blog post almost as much as my next workout! 

Am I a bodybuilder?  When I started lifting over 3 1/2 years ago, being a bodybuilder was the furthest thing from my mind.  I started because I wanted to lose some fat and hopefully have more energy.  The more I went to the gym, the better I felt, the more I learned, the more I could lift, the better the results in the mirror, and so the more I wanted to go!  I now go 3 to 4 times a week and I love it.  But does this make me a bodybuilder?

Wikipedia says "Bodybuilding is the process of maximizing muscle hypertrophy through the combination of weight training, sufficient caloric intake, and rest. Someone who engages in this activity is referred to as a bodybuilder."  Well, I am trying to build muscle by regularly working out all muscle groups.  I must have sufficient caloric intake since my muscles are growing, and I get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night.  I do these things to the best of my ability given my family and work commitments.  I do them better than some, but not nearly as well as others.  So, I’m doing the right activities, but does this make me a bodybuilder?

After 3 1/2 years, how do I measure up?  Do I have a great physique?  Of course not!  Have I progressed a lot from when I started?  Most definately!  I have more muscle than, and appear healthier than, a lot of people, but I also have much room for improvement.  What I have come to understand from my experiences at the gym, from reading about bodybuilding, and from reading profiles on bodybuilding.com, is that bodybuilding is a lifestyle that means different things to different people.  Bodybuilders come in all shapes, sizes and ages, have different nutritional practices and needs, and have different goals and different measures of success.  For some, its a sport or even a career and they take it very seriously.  For most of us, its something we do because we enjoy it and it makes us feel and look better. 

As the definition says, bodybuilding is about process and activities.  More than that, I believe being a bodybuilder is a state of mind.  I have made a choice and commitment to live my life a certain way, and its a lifestyle that I believe I will stick to for the rest of my life.  I make realistic goals and work to achieve them, but I always remember that the real value is in the journey I’m taking.  So, as I continue on the road to transforming my body and improving my health, I have decided to stand up and proudly declare: "YES!  I am a bodybuilder!"

On Nov 11 I started logging my workouts on paper.  Today I finished entering them into the Workout Tracker, which I’ll use from now on.  Been reading other members’ blogs, decided to give it a try.  So, this is my first blog post on bodybuilding.com, or on any other site for that matter!  It’s like the diary I used to keep for a year when I was a teenager, but a lot better!

My last workout was Wednesday.  Thursday was a planned off day for recovery.  Missed Friday due to a Christmas dinner at a group I belong to (wanted to do an hour in the afternoon but couldn’t get away from work).  I had a workshop all day Saturday and was too tired to go in the evening.  I’m going for a long walk with my wife this afternoon, so I’ll go to the gym for a good workout tonight.  Plan to do biceps and legs.