HaRDCoRe aND CuTe!

…I can call myself a ‘runner’ now since I actually ran (or something that resembled running!) in a race. Simple 5k. I sucked, but I finished. Came to the hard realization that I need to run more. A LOT more. So…that’s what I plan on doing for the rest of my time here in Michigan…there’s a nice 3.25 mile loop around the neighborhood where my gym is located…I used to run that all the time before I did any weight training…gonna start that again…it’s been hard as hell to get up any earlier than 0900 hrs lately, but I have to now. Preparation. I did it once, I can do it again…

What do y’all do for your calves?? Mine suck. In fact, they’re TOP on the list of body parts I want to change…I do a varied style of training for my calves, from heavy/low rep to moderate/high rep exercises…but still look like crap!!

What kinds of exercises do you do? What set/rep scheme have you found to bring out the definition in your calves?

So, I resigned last week from the Border Patrol. I was having some problems with my run and my heart just wasn’t in the job anymore. I lost a lot of confidence in myself, too, and I think as a law enforcement officer/agent, that’s something you NEED to have. So I walked away with my head held high and came back to Fort Worth.

Good timing, too. I had an interview with the DEA shortly after arriving home. It went well. I have a face-to-face with the psychologist on Monday. I’m also testing with the Dallas Police Department. In fact, today was my physical test and my polygraph. I applied with DPD last year, but took the offer with the BP before DPD finished my background. Anyway…I passed the PT test, just not as well as I would have liked to have done. We had to do one minute of push ups and sit ups, a vertical jump, a 300-meter dash, and a 1.5-mile run. I did 30 push ups and 34 sit ups - to GRADUATE the DPD Academy, you need to do 25 and 35, respectively. My vertical jump was 11.6" (this girl ain’t got ups!) - to GRADUATE, you need a 16" vertical. My 300-meter time was 68s - needs to be 65s. Lastly, my run was 14:33 - needs to be 15:52 to graduate. I’m content with my results…just not happy. I wanted my run under 14 minutes and I wanted about 45 sit ups. Oh well. I also passed the polygraph, which I was kind of worried about. Last year, they said my first poly was inconclusive and made me wait a month to retake it. Not this time! Yay! I have my oral board tomorrow. The recruiter told that since my background was pretty much almost finished, if I passed everything, I would probably get a slot in the next class…I asked when that was, and she said July 9th. Woot! Hoping to get my run down below 14′ before I go, though.

Heading out to Alabama next week on a vacation. Gone the 17th - 25th. Will be nice to get away for a bit…

“20. Take time to review your goals and reasons for training.”

From Mike Robertson’s latest T-Nation article, http://www.t-nation.com/article/most_recent/20_things_im_thinking_about 

So…I’m taking the time right now since it’s 00:05 and I have to get up in, oh, four hours.

My goals. I always have goals. The most important one right now? Graduate the freakin’ Academy. That entails a lot of things, but for me, it mostly involves getting a sub-13:00 mile and a half and getting my short ass over the wall. Shorter people than I have done it, so I know I can do it. I just have to prove I can.

I have other goals though. I want to get below 20% BF again…but that means I need to find someone around here that can take a seven-site caliper reading. Hard thing to find, oddly enough. I miss my old gym. I also want to get my weight between 165 and 175. Odd for a girl, right? Not for me, especially considering that when I do get my weight that low, my body fat is normally sub-20%.

Smaller calves. I truly hate my calves. Girls complain about their bodies a lot…it’s in our genes. But I really, really ABHOR my calves. The only part of my body that I would truly change. My legs are big, but they’re strong…I don’t have a flat stomach, but I don’t want one very much either…I have traps. And decent strength.

So what are my reasons for training? I really only have two major ones:

1. I used to be fat. Morbidly so. I don’t want to be there again.

2. I like being strong and having a muscular build. I like it when people say either that I look like an athlete or like a lifter. That’s nice. I loved it when PT instructor told me I’d never find a boyfriend because I kept outlifting all the guys. It was an over-exaggeration, but his point was clear - guys don’t want strong girls. I call bullshit. The type of guys that don’t want a strong girl are exactly the type of guys I avoid in dating anyway.

…I should go to bed. Tomorrow I have to hit the gym hard. Less than a week before I return to lovely Artesia, NM.

Just thoughts going through my head right…

1) I’d rather be considered "cute" than anything else. Words like "pretty," "sexy," and "beautiful," carry too much connotation and responsibility. But "cute"!? Nah. "Cute" is good. It’s part attitude, part looks. It means I still get to act like a little kid at a hockey game when the players slap my hand…It means I get to go from soft-spoken to yelling "WHAT THE F*@&!!" when some mofo in a Dodge Charger cuts us off…It means I get to make mistakes and be fallible and just be ME without worrying. You can fake things like "pretty" and "sexy" - that’s all in the makeup and wardrobe - but you can’t fake "cute."

2) Why do guys focus so much on their abs? I’ve never been much impressed by abs. In fact, the only time I ever really was in awe was when I was watching 300. And even then, I was like, "Damn…but they have no legs!!" Gimme a guy with a set of traps that hides his neck…a back barely wide enough to fit through a doorway…legs thicker than his waist…shoulders that really DO look like boulders…THOSE come with dedication and training and speak volumes to his character…

3)  Hockey players are cute. Plain and simple. I love that game…

TWO DAYS!!! Man, I hope I can come back here on Friday with good news…I’m excited, but also apprehensive based on my previous experiences…WISH ME LUCK!!!

Okay, so the good news I was supposed to have last week…well, now it’ll be THIS week. I’m so freakin’ PSYCHED!! Will letch’all know what’s up when I know more fo’sho…

I passed my fitness test to go back to the Academy. I’ll admit I was a wee bit scared because I’ve been sick for about two weeks…latest verdict? My gallbladder. Seriously, though…wtf!?!? Nausea. Insomnia. Exhaustion. Rapid weight loss. From a gallbladder? Man, I love doctors in Laredo. *sigh*

HOPEFULLY will have some awesome news by the end of the week…still waiting patiently and don’t want to jump the gun on anything…but I’m super, super excited…I’m thinking by tomorrow, I’ll know more…and by Friday, I’ll confirm it…keep your fingers crossed for me!!

…I guess I should mention that the fitness test is really quite a joke. 20 pushups, 25 situps in a minute and a five-minute step test. The sad thing is, there are people that fail this.

Okay, this past week has been spent battling a stomach virus. God, I love it when I’m sick! It started Friday night, when I actually had a fever (100.5!)…and it still hasn’t culminated! I *finally* grudgingly went to the doctor yesterday (I hate doctors…and it’s worse here when very few went to med school in the US! Makes me leery!)…they tested me and -VOILA! Stomach virus. Yay. At least now I know why I’ve felt like crap all week. I took Monday and Tuesday off…haven’t trained since Monday morning, when I did a crappy-ass 20 minute cardio workout. The only plus from this virus is that I’ve lost ~10 lbs. Can’t stomach anything more than popsicles, grapes, and cucumbers…yay.

Hopefully will have some VERY AWESOME news next week, but I don’t want to spoil anything…

Okay, so I’ve been running with this guy who started off as my trainer and then basically just turned into a running coach…anyway, he gripes about how I ‘lift like a guy’ and need to tone it down a bit and focus more on the "high rep" crap. When I started lifting, I got bit by a powerlifter, metaphorically speaking. He helped develop my ‘lift more’ mentality that I curse some days…I’m a highly competitive person and am always trying to outlift someone…ANYWAYYYY…he wrote out a four-day workout, consisting of a few exercises done for 2 sets of 15 reps. WTF!? *sigh* I don’t think I can mentally handle that crap. I’ll be BORED outta my FREAKIN’ MIND!! I might rebel and work back with my old split that I used to do…I mean, seriously…my weight has more to do with what I am (and aren’t) eating, not the way I train. Lifting heavy releases more good stuff into my body AND burns more calories AND builds muscle, which burns more calories at rest. I do think he had a valid point when he said that my body is conditioned one way when it desperately needs to be conditioned another way. That’s where my dilemma enters - I *need* my cardiovascular endurance back…but I don’t want to sacrifice my muscles for it.

 Crap.