Woman question
After posting a comment on another blog I figured I’d post here to get a woman’s perspective on a current issue I have in my marriage. My wife has put on some weight after our second child and with changing from an active job to sedentary one. She hates working out and lived most of her life with a body like she worked out all the time with no work. I know she’s hates the weight and I of course encourage her to workout and not eat like crap. She does good for a couple weeks then falls off the wagon and when i bring it up that she’s fallen off she tells me I’m nagging her. What is the best way to passively motivate her to work out? Right now it’s effecting not only how she feels about herself, but also the things we can do with our kids and where we go.
March 9, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I think the best you can do under these curcumstances is praise her when she does good. Give her compliments that point toward how much better she looks and feels ect when she tries, I don’t think there is a whole lot you can when she falls off the wagon so to speak because anthing you say will probally be taken negatively. You could try and find a goal you both work toward together like a run? Something you could both train for, might help motivate her.
March 11, 2008 at 6:35 am
Yeah, I figure I’m going to back off 100%, because it just seems to do more harm than good. In the end she has to want it for it to work anyway. I am going to try putting together some activities we can do together like hiking and biking
March 11, 2008 at 10:18 am
That would probally be more productive to your cause.
March 11, 2008 at 10:24 am
No doubt, but it just gets frustrating. I’ve got to learn to just relax about it
March 11, 2008 at 10:28 am
You could recommend doing things together as a family like going for walks, bike rides, going to the park and taking a soccer ball or something. I wouldn’t recommend commenting when she "falls off the wagon" because that will probably not motivate her very much and you might be sleeping on the couch. Compliment her a lot more when she is working out. I know I get a lot more motivated when someone compliments me on how I’ve progressed. I have the same problem with my bf, he smokes, doesn’t workout and eats like crap but nothing I say will change that.
March 11, 2008 at 10:34 am
Yeah, it is tough. I have a fix the issue type mind set with most things. She’s not happy with her weight, and I look at that and say here’s what you need to do to fix it.
Now that summer is close it will be easier to get her out doing things. She also wants me to buy her some home equipment, so I think I’m going to look into that too.
I don’t want to be an ass about it, I just want her to regain her self confidence. I do compliment her a ton when she’s working out, but that only seems to help for a short period of time