Hardcore Alley

I hate how uncomfortable people get around me at lunch. I mean yes, I have an ab ball and push up bars in my office. And so what I have my blender there with my big ass container of protein on the counter. And sure, I eat all during the day, but just because I care about what I eat and how I look, don’t let me stop you fron getting big as a house. So please, keep eating all that bullshit, the highways are too crowded anyway.

Someone send an email out about left over food, and out they go like a herd of wild a$$ buffalo. Makes me sick.

It was a close one, but Ike didn’t get to me. Talk about scary, but thanks for the time off work Ike.

I really like the Gaspari Size On -  But is it any better than regular creatine or is it all in my head?

Size doesn’t matter

 I thought she was 18

 She’s my cousin

Just let me put the head in

It’s what’s on the inside that counts

If you keep doing that you will go blind

You’re my first

Payments in the mail

Of course you don’t look fat

Of course you’re the father

I work out every now and then

So last night the wife and I decide to watch a little porn while sipping on some wine. The kids are out of town so we are really big chilling. So we are checking out a few of my favorites, Sean Michaels, Heather Brooke and so on. But we get to the point where we notice we are watching with a different set of eyes. We start seeing where the “Actors” can use improvements on their physiques. He could use more chest work, she needs some ab work, his hamstrings are weak, her calves need to be brought up and so on.  Of course she goes to the extremes with her critiques but I digress. Anyway, it’s starting to get like that everywhere we go, noticing that the majority of people out in the world are horribly out of shape; dads and sons with sagging boobs and ever increasing estrogen levels.  As a country we look awful, we are soft. And the world of today is a lot like porn, there is no place for a soft man.  

People are always asking me for training and eating advice. And even though I’m no compatative bodybuilder, I am more fit than the average guy. So I think now it’s time for me to see if I can make some money from my years of experience.

I want to become a certified personal trainer, what’s the best certificate to get?

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Stiller: There were times when I was doing Jack when I actually felt retarded. Like really retarded.<strong />

Downey: Oh yeah. Damn.

Stiller: In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb.

Downey: To be a moron.

Stiller: Yeah.

Downey: To be moronical.

Stiller: Exactly.

Downey: An imbecile.

Stiller: Yeah. When I was playing a character.

Downey: When you was a character.

Stiller: Yeah, I mean, as Jack. Definitely.

Downey: It’s like working with mercury. It’s how science makes art form.

Stiller: Yeah.

Downey: You an artist.

Stiller: It’s what we do, right?

Downey: Everybody knows you never do a full retard.

Stiller: What do you mean?

Downey:  Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rainman, look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic. Sure. Not retarded.

You know Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and he won a ping-pong competition? That ain’t retarded.

You went full retard, man. Never go full retard 

http://www.smartypantsvillage.com

What is a blog hijacker—-that is a person that tries to take over your blog and spin it in an entirely different direction than the blog was meant to go. For example…If I post a blog about the importance of the father in the home, and way out of left field someone comes along and mentions, I don’t know, that I did not stress the importance of the mother. It’s s#!t like that I hate. It spins the blog in an entirely different direction. If that person wants to start a blog about the importance of the mother they should start their own blog, and not try to hijack the one started.