All Muscled 2’s BodyBlog

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
 Audre Lord

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”
Leo Rosten

My boss doesn’t care if I put a half inch on my bicep.  My Mom doesn’t understand why I want to be strong, or as she says “so big”.  “Who wants to look like that anyway”? “You know, guys don’t like girls who are that big.”  My female friends are too busy chasing d*ck and styling their hair to realize the commitment I am undertaking.  All this and they say I am self absorbed.

What more noble and dignified pursuit could there be than pushing the envelope of what we were meant to be?  What is wrong with wanting more than the regular? Let me tell you what is wrong… NOTHING!  When it all comes down, and it’s time to pay the tab, you know you are paid in full.  Let those others stand there looking at each other, waiting to see who has a mid-life crisis first.

Damage to one’s being and mind cannot be undone, and likewise, strength and size cannot be pounded into place without much strife and struggle.  There have been so many times when I have wanted to give up.  Yet J  wouldn’t let me; every day I hear him in my head: “one more week, 6 more fish oil pills, one more can of tuna, one more carb depletion cycle, one more chicken breast, keep drinking a gallon and a half of water a day, stop whining, increase your cardio, increase your weight,  and so on. Yet after many hours of sacrifice and many days of physical stress, I have come to know who I am and what sets me apart from others.

I get discouraged and disheartened at times, but I see a light at the end of this long, fat burning tunnel.  This journey has done a lot for me.  It has built perseverance.  It has increased my resolve, strengthened my character, and it has taught me patience.  I have learned and realized things about myself and my inner strength that before had lain dormant.  There is a fiery, steely determination about me now that I didn’t even know I had.  Because I know if I can do this, I can do anything.  It is a challenge, but if it were easy, everyone would do it.  Champions are built brick by painful brick and that can take a lifetime.  Sometimes it can happen without anyone even bothering to notice.  Take heart. The mountains you climb can’t always be seen by an audience…Still, you must not stop climbing. 

 Thanks J, for not giving up on me or letting me give up on myself:)

“I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow.”

Julia Cameron