Stripping the Fat

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." -Mark Twain

*warning…adult content*

So in addition to fitting in my size 10 jeans this morning (put on and zipped up) I also made note of yet another accomplishment! 

I can actually see my coochie!  LOL!  At first I didn’t notice this change, I was getting ready to shave her bald and realized I wasn’t trying to bend over or move the belly out of the way to get a better view.  COOL!!  I was also able to see the piercing…which I haven’t viewed without the assistance of a mirror for the last 4 years. 

I tell you, it takes all sorts of things to make life much better…and some things may be odd, but they make you tingle just the same!  I decided that the size 10’s can continue chillin in the closet for another week, they were a little too tight for work attire, but next week I think I’ll have a little more room.

Happy FRIDAY!

" If fitness came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body." - Cher

I have been putting in some bonus time in the gym and it seems to be paying off.  I feel GREAT!  I have changed my cardio a bit although I am still using the same machine.   (I swear I LOVE LOVE LOVE that thing)  My meals have been great and I am losing inches around the middle…so all my pants are lose around the waist.  I am excited, especially since I’m almost to the two month mark in my journey and it’s about time for my body to realize this is for the long haul and show some REAL progress!!

I have increased my calories a bit but I’m still doing a mediocre job with the water intake.  A couple of co-workers have made comments but I pretended like I had no idea what they were talking about…I didn’t feel like getting into any debates.  Plus I’m still annoyed by the giggles regarding the bikini goal comment.

I realize that when you are working out as a primary way of changing your body (rather than dieting alone) people aren’t as interested in hearing about what you are doing. LMAO!  If I said I was only eating apples every day for 60 days, then everyone would want to ask a zillion questions… but tell them you are going to the gym EVERY SINGLE day and working out for an hour and a half a day and they practically run in the other direction.  WHO KNEW??  

Anyhoo, I have been in my own little world, ignoring the cell phone, getting good sleep and working hard.  I am loving this!!

People are strange, that is all I can say.  I think it’s funny how people find nothing wrong with giving you all the advice in the world when you are FIT and don’t need the imput.  I’m not speaking about myself, but it’s just an observation. 

Back in the day I ran track and was pretty active.  I was always told that I needed to put on a little weight, or I was ALWAYS asked why I was obsesses with staying fit.  People thought I either looked fine the way I was or that I should not be worried about staying fit since I didn’t have anything to worry about.  Every day of my life someone made a comment about my body even though I was a petite size 3 or 5, was very muscular, and didn’t care much about their input. 

Fast forward to the FAT years.  In all the time that it took me to get fat, no one said a word.  No one said, you need to work out, or you need to eat better, or can I help you stop gaining weight, etc.  No one even bothered to simply say you are getting FAT! NOTHING.  They simply kept their mouths closed, the advice stopped and they secretly rejoiced that I crossed over into their world.  I realize there is no "nice" way of saying to someone that they are getting overweight, but I don’t necessarily think it’s nice to butt in and say that someone looks too skinny either.  Some people are sensitive about that too. 

I’m sort of glad that I’m a loner at work and dont really talk much to very many people.  I don’t have to worry about them saying much to me unless I initiate the conversation.  But there are three people here that I really like and talk to often who know how I feel about this topic and we are very much divided about it.  One of my work buddies is happily married and accepts her weight because her husband doesn’t say anything.  Good for her.  I was pretty fit when I was in a LTR, I guess I wanted to look good for my man.  My other friend is tall and in fairly good shape and doesn’t work out.  She is lucky that she doesn’t have to workout to look good.  And my last friend recently lost 100 pounds and looks fantastic!  She understands that losing weight without working out does not look good and she also understands both sides of this issue. 

get fat - make friends

get fat - get invited to all the parties

get fat - ease the minds of your married/involved friends

get fat - get new wardrobe (not a sexy one mind you)

get fat - lose hot boyfriend

get fat - hang around the house a lot more

get fat - become celibate

get fat - rejoice??  Only if you’re a hater!  Why would you be happy (secretly or not) that someone gains weight and gets fat like you?  It’s down right BITCHASSNESS! (sorry Diddy)

I’m seriously seeing a shift in some people’s personalities and I am blown away.  I am not even showing much progress but I guess the thought that I may be onto something that may actually WORK to my benefit is bringing out the ugly in others.  It hurts my heart but I may be letting some acquaintances GO.  I am the same friend to others no matter what…and expect the same in return.

So every morning here at work we have a "morning huddle" so to speak where we touch base with one another and share issues, ask for help and discuss best practices.  I am part of a group of people called Facilitators who head the morning huddles.

Today’s topic was about goal setting and the steps people take to reach their goals.  Somewhere within my discussion I mentioned that I have a personal goal of wearing a bikini by May 09 to which a few of the young ladies busted out laughing.  Not a little bit mind you, but huge belly laughter!  Normally, this probably would have upset me a tad bit or make me feel like my goal was not attainable…I would have second-guessed myself and changed my expectation but not this time!! Once again I feel empowered that I am on track to reach my goal.  The way it looks is like I’ll hit a 3% to 4% bodyfat loss per month and could hit 18% bodyfat by February…which gives me 3 months to put everything into getting as tight as possible!

One young lady stated, "  You can wear one anytime you want, what kind of goal is that?" Well I don’t know what planet some people reside, but I’m not from the group of people who wear things they shouldn’t be caught dead in.  I will look fabulous, or I won’t be putting it on.

So in my private rant here on my page I will say that I’ll be wearing a bikini next year, I will look like a HOT 41 year old MILF and I will look fly!  It’s definitely not a joke.

With 6 weeks of trial and error under my belt and having completed a full month of personal training I am ready to move on to a new phase of hard work and a dedicated eating plan.  For the next 3 weeks I will be changing things up a bit, adding a lot more protein and lowering the carbs by 40-60 grams so that I can ramp up the fat burning "oven" in my system.

Overall I feel really good and feel at ease.  There have been times when I think a little too much and feel I should be further along in my fitness goals than I am, but luckily I’ve been documenting a lot about my daily activities and food intake so I am quickly reminded that it’s only been 6 weeks.  Regardless, I am focused on making as much progress during the next 3 weeks and hope to get my bodyfat under 39%. 

I did not drink No-Xplode at all last week so today will be the first day back on it.  I love the stuff but I admit it’s a little addicting.  I’m back on tuna for the most part and hope to focus on it as a primary protein source for the early part of each day and I’ll try to eat every 2 1/2 hours rather than every 3 1/2 hours.  This should help me reach my goal of 6 meals a day up from 5 meals a day.

Now on to the strange haps.

I am noticing that family and long time friends are sort of like haters.  They were making comments this weekend about my working out, about how I’m not "hanging out" and that I have not been drinking alcohol.  They roll their eyes whenever someone asks me about the Bodybugg, and it seems like they are super irritated that I’m trying to live a fit lifestyle.  In a way, I feel like this is really a sad thing to realize.  There are people who are close to me that purposely drive conversations to topics regarding people who are dieting or exercising who have gotten too skinny and look terrible.  LOL!  I guess misery loves company FOR REAL!  I avoid making any comment and refuse to be sucked into the conversation.  Its just hateration!  I have a long way to go in regards to where I’d like to be physically, and just don’t have time for the Bullsh#t.  I don’t really have to deal with any of them again until bowling season starts and I guess they will all have fun talking about me behind my back.  But of course in the end I’ll have the last laugh and deep inside I’m just happy because if they are irritated by my progress that means they are noticing it even though they are not bold enough to say anything NICE.

"Balance is the key to success in all things. Do not neglect your mind, body, or spirit. Invest time and energy in all of them equally - it will be the best investment you ever make, not just for your life but for whatever is to follow." - Tanya Wheway

Saturday was my 5 1/2 week weigh-in and stats from my trainer and it was also the last session I’ll have with her for 4 weeks.  

So since I began this journey I have gone from 210 pounds to 191.  My body fat has gone from 44.6 to 41.5.  And my waist has gone from 41 inches to 37 inches.   I am pretty pleased with the progress after just under 6 weeks.  My lean body mass has gone from 111 to 113.

I am focusing on the next two weeks to make more progress and do measurements again at that time.  I will also take more pics then too.  

I had the weekend off from the eating plan and indulged in full carbs which does not seem to worry me like it did in the past.  I guess since I’m confident on what the eating plan will be come Tuesday, it just isn’t that serious.  I feel good and I am again focused on the next goal.

I know I wrote a post last month regarding how my looks seem to vary depending on what mirror I’m looking in, but I have to say that I have a new appreciation for those damn things.  While I feel any real changes I’m making are very subtle to the naked eye, especially someone else’s, I do know that there are changes.  I guess I wish I could see them a little more clearly so I could claim them…you know what I mean?   For now, the gym mirrors are reminding me that I have a LONG way to go to get to my bikini body and I am actually thankful for that.  Some of the mirrors in my house try to fool me into believing that I’m actually making headway and it would be devastating if I believed them and didn’t work even harder to reach my goals each day.  I realize all the time how much I let my body go to get to this point.  I can not mourn over my old body…the one I let slip away, so I have to look to the future and claim a new one, one that I will make/mold to be something I cherish and take care of.  So trust me when I say I spend a lot of time in mirrors, willing myself to notice the good, the bad and the ugly that is me.  It’s hard at times but I think it’s an important step in this process.