Stripping the Fat

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson 

I was in a mood yesterday when I woke up thinking that I was going down the wrong path as far as fitness was concerned.  My mind was messing with me, had me questioning everything I’ve done in the past 3 weeks. I was unsure about my eating plan, the cardio, the weight lifting, everything.   But as soon as I felt tears coming on I had to seriously take time out to review everything and think about what this journey is really all about.

Today I took some time to THINK.  I had to focus on the things that I know are for the better and block out some of the negativity that seemed to be creeping up.  So tonight I am going to make a note of some things as a point of reference… focusing on what’s real and what’s good:

1.) CARDIO - I started cardio sessions July 15th (prior to that I was merely doing 20 minutes each time but not every day, the 15th I started 30 and the 21st I started 45 minutes every day)

2.)  EATING PLAN - The eating plan that seems to best work for me…low carb, clean carbs (green veggies) and lean protein took some time to figure out.  I feel that I had ONE clean week with adequate meals and calories levels so far, July 21st to present.  With one full week under my belt I am confident that it will be a while before I need to adjust things.  I’m not hungry, I’m not craving, I waived the cheat days to every 3 weeks rather than once a week because I know it will be that long before I feel like the way of eating needs a break.  My calories are at a level my body seems to like and the staggering of calorie levels each day seems to be working.

3.) WEIGHT LIFTING - I have 3 more sessions with the trainer before I have a month to myself to concentrate on everything I’ve been taught.  She and I had a discussion about it today and I will see her 4-6 weeks from the last session to adjust the weight lifting plan.  

4.) FAT LOSS - My focus is on losing body fat and it’s starting to work.  I feel it.  I feel light.  I feel the difference in my clothes and I can tell now when I look in the gym mirrors - which says a lot.  This tells me I’m on the right path and that all I need to do is remain diligent in my daily workouts and focused eating.

5.)  SLEEP -  For the first time in about 2 years I am getting great sleep every night.  I guess the workouts help me because I used to wake up every 2-3 hours through the night and now I go to sleep and don’t wake up until my alarm goes off.  This is a huge change, one that is most welcome!  Sleep is so important and will help me reach my goals…I was actually seeing a special doctor to help me figure out why I was suffering from insomnia - and I don’t need to anymore.

6.)  ENERGY - My energy level is HIGH!  No need to say more.

7.)  PICTURES - Posting the pics on this site is something I never thought I’d do until they were "worthy" but I’m glad that I did.  For one, the first thing that came to mind is that I need to work extra hard to make sure that in 4-6 weeks I can post some that are IMPROVED from the first set.  I think that will help me focus through our busy time at work when the office starts bringing in catered food and having celebrations for meeting the deadlines.  Plus, I know that more than anything this is a public site and there is no telling who will see those things so I can only strive to improve. 

8.)  WATER - Although I feel this is the one area I’m still struggling with, most days I am getting a half a gallon a day.  My goal is a gallon a day but I have only done that a few times.  I focus on this each morning so I do feel I will make progress here soon. Water is key…I feel so much better when I’m completely hydrated.

9.)  SUPPLEMENTS - I am doing GREAT with all my supplements, vitamins included.  Those things are a daily habit already and I think its part of the reason why my energy level is high as well as my MOOD being pretty good.  Co-workers have been looking at me side eyed…probably wondering what I’m on these days…wait til they get a load of me next month!! LOL!

10.)  CHANGE - I’m glad I decided to make this change at this time of my life.  I’ve been reading so much regarding fitness and wellness for a long period of time and I’m finally putting it all to action.  I’m very happy about this and proud of myself for choosing to dedicate each day to fitness.  There have been a lot of negative comments made over the past 3 months by friends and co-workers, people saying that I can’t achieve total fitness, and I feel that I CAN. I understand some of my friends mean well and may feel that they don’t want me to change because they don’t want to change…but this is my journey, my choice, my life and my health.  No one seemed to care that I was killing myself.

**Next Focus Point - August 31, 2008

One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.

On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.  I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.

On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old 
ladies lying naked on the lawn.

This time my curiosity got the best of me and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator. “Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?”

“Yes,” she said. “They’re retired prostitutes…they’re having a yard sale!”

RETIREMENT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE !! 

I keep running into people I have not seen in a long time and of course one of the first things they do is ask for my cell phone number.  I guess I find this funny for two reasons, one - my number has been the same for FOREVER and two -I never hear from the person who bothered to ask for my number.  

Now I’m realizing why.

I ran into Paul a few weeks ago.  He was really happy to see me and wanted to meet up for drinks and appetizers soon.  He asked for my number but I never heard from him and assumed he was just spitting game for the hell of it.  I saw him Sunday and he asked why I didn’t text him back to let him know if I wanted to hang out or not.  LMAO!  He was shocked to find out that I have all text messaging BLOCKED and don’t use the service in any form or fashion.  I realize a lot of those people I run into are texting me and the messages are going into a black hole.  

I, Carrie, am not a Crackberry-text addict!  I hate talking on the phone and I completely detest (and won’t date) men who can’t stop texting for a few hours.  It’s actually pretty sickening to watch those who can’t stop texting for over a period of 15 minutes. I never EVER want to be that accessible nor do I want to live my life not engaging in REAL time conversations with someone who is actually sitting in front of me.  The worse offenders are those who send messages saying hello just HOPING to start a conversation.  Heck, as much as I hate talking on the phone…that kind of CRAP would infuriate me.   I shake my head all the time watching my cousin texting back and forth with her son.  In all the time it takes to complete one conversation, she could have called him and completed the convo in 2 minutes, saving at least 2 hours of her day from texting.

I guess I’m just hella old school because I simply do not get it and don’t want to get it.  My mind needs to be free for more than 4-5 hours of the day and my mind is overloaded by the time I finish work.  My mental stress levels are relieved only from WORKING OUT.  I pretty much put the imaginary DO NOT DISTURB sign out as soon as I walk out of the office after work.  The only time I really answer the phone is if I know it’s going to be a short conversation, one that usually relates to a meeting, hanging out or hooking up.  I talk to family for an extended time, but only if I haven’t talked to them in a while.

So to sum up this post.  I think I have been missing out on quite a bit and may not have known it.  LMAO!  Who knew??

I avoided ALL contact with alcohol!  This is a huge accomplishment and I realize that even indulging once a week was sidelining any chance of progress.  Last night I thought about going to Karaoke but decided the temptation to drink might be a little strong in that situation so I stayed home and went power-walking instead.

Well despite the rough start I had figuring everything out both alone and with my trainer, I am feeling good about the past week. I made sure I hit the Cybex Cross Trainer 5 days this week as well as logging 24 miles speed walking down at the lake.  I have to say that I am still not ready for those DIPS because after doing 3 set of them I was SORE to the bone for 3 days!  The day after chest/arms I was so sore my tits ached.  It seems like nothing I do besides squats bothers my legs for more than a hour or two but they are pretty strong despite how they look. Actually, my trainer said I’m a lot stronger overall which she says is good (although I’m not sure why that is good).  She says I have a lot of muscle under this fat so we’ll see, I guess time will tell.

I think the best accomplishment this week was eating well.  Although I drank a lot of replacement meal shakes I managed to hit my calorie intake (1500 - 2000 varied) most days and burned off most of what I took in.  

Despite the awful pics I posted today I do feel like inches are ready to start dropping off.  I feel "Light" which is usually how I feel before things start changing.  I don’t expect to see a lot of change until I get to the two month mark…but I am busting my hump(s) every day.

I am STILL failing at getting high quantities of water but each day I really try.  Well I need to make a shake, I’m actually behind in my eating plan today because I was debating with myself about posting damn pics on this site.  In the end I need to post them because I need to see them often - the reminder of what’s REAL does wonders for my drive to work hard.

Men are always coming up with new ways to freak women out about their bodies. LOL!  I just wish for once I could get a normal comment…one whose meaning I recognize.   My booty has been given a slew of nicknames over the years:  Onion Booty, Apple Booty, Bunky, Shelf, Assy and Palm-o-liscious.  Today I just got a new one.

My friend "D" called who I have not talked to in over 7 or 8 months. It was quick conversation considering I have not seen him in a while and I’m not sure if I’ll see him any time soon.  I assume his reason for calling may have been one of those bored moments men get when they do a drive-by of random phone numbers in their phone log and call someone they haven’t spoke to in a while.
Here’s the short convo.

D:  Hey Girl, How the heck have you been?  What have you been up to?

Me:  I’ve been well, I’ve been in the gym a lot lately.  How are you?

D:  When will I see your Ghetto booty again?

Me:  HUH?  What do you mean?  What is a Ghetto booty?

D:  Your ass!! You know you got a big ole round booty.
Me:  Should I be insulted D?  Damn.

D:  Hell no, I love your ass, trust that.
Me:  Hmmm, sounds to me like I need more time on the stair stepper.
D:  I hear that is what makes it ROUND using that stair master, that’s why white girls got round booties these days.
Me:  *cracking up*  I’ve heard it all now.
D:  Don’t go shrinking that ass on me…Please baby, Please please please DON’T!
Me:   I doubt that it will ever be GONE, trust me.

Anyway, I have never heard this new nickname before.  No matter what my overall size has been, my butt has always been big.  When I was 117 pounds I still had a huge round ass for my small frame.  I guess that came from running track.  Either way, over the years it was probably my best "asset" LMAO! 

Honestly, I feel that my ass looks like it’s 40 years old but hopefully my renewed interest in the gym will have it looking like a spring chicken’s ass in no time.

The time to compromise is here.  I had some free time on Sunday and did quite a bit of research to come up with an eating plan I can follow without question.  It’s a little bit more generous in calories which is a change for me but since I have been burning up waaaay more than I am taking in, I think I need it.  

So I’ll try it for the next 3 weeks and then begin cycling the calories.  I’m sure the trainer will be thrilled since this addresses her carb concerns…but at least they are carbs I can actually eat without worrying about it’s impact on my goals.

More later.

My personal trainer and I have the same discussion each and every time I see her.  Due to the fact that I’m wearing the bodybugg dang near 23 hours a day, she is able to see how much activity I’m putting in (calories out) and by my dietary log, she can see what I’m putting into my body as fuel (calories in).   She says my calorie intake is too low (and I agree it’ been around 1000-1300 a day) but that is due to drinking 3 protein shakes a day.

Each time she views my online data from the bodybugg she tells me that I need to add more carbs (not really caring that I’m ranging from 50g to 90g of carbs per day) which is way higher than I care to be. I tried to explain to her that my body is and has always been super sensitive to carbs and adding just "any" type of carb will swell me up like a balloon but her "fitness education" has my concerns falling on deaf ears.  Even carbs like brown rice, whole wheat breads, yams, etc cause a trigger to crave more carbs…which of course causes issues.  I can handle a serving of one of those items a day with no problem and I get that, but having that with each meal will never happen.  All of my carb intake as been coming from spinach, broccoli, collards, green beans, mixed green salads and occasional whole wheat tortilla wraps.  On my cheat day I had black bean tortilla chips with guacamole which did not trigger overeating.

So I guess my confusion is who is right?  I have plenty of energy for my workouts.  I raised an eyebrow today because she told me by upping my carbs, I’d be in protein sparing mode??? I again tried to explain that that was the total opposite of what I read by Lyle McDonalds Rapid Fat Loss book for the Protein Sparing Modified Fast…but she insisted that since she went to school for this she knows more than he does.

*sigh*

I really like my trainer and completely love my workouts but the only way for me to understand where she is coming from regarding my eating plan is for her to HEAR my concerns and give me a little proof that she is correct.  And so far, I’ve read a lot more regarding high protein intake to build muscle married with clean carbs for the best fat loss results.  The only way I’ve ever lost weight,  EVER has been keeping my carbs clean.  Even on my cheat days right now, I have been going up a pound or two - especially if my water intake is off.  So to compromise, I asked her to understand that it’s only been 9 days in the gym and all of this change is a lot to do in a week.  I am trying to do everything she tells me…and it seems like adding carbs has been the snag.

I am so freakin confused by this whole carb thing that I could scream!  I read and consume quite a bit of information regarding the issue and I just can’t come to a total agreement with my trainer just yet.

My blood pressure has been great, my recent lab results were excellent, and my body is responding to the workouts…I’m just not sure why this is bothering her so much.

4 reasons why u wouldnt want to be an egg :
—–1. you only get hard once
—–2. you only get ate once
—–3. you only get laid once
—–4. the only person who sits on your face is your mother