Monkey See, Monkey Do
Can it really be as easy as following the good example of others? Can it really be as easy as just saying no for once?
There are some things that I have never struggled to say no to. I simply just never considered these things even a possibility–saying no to these things are a breeze. Then, there’s everything else.
I’m a woman that likes to keep all doors open. One could even label me as an individual that has commitment issues. I fear giving things up. I hate when my friends do things without me. I want to always be "in" the inside joke.
With food, this manifests itself in my inability to say no to food items I have come to characterize as "me" foods. I have been in a constant struggle with my instant-gratification self, and my long-term goals self for years. This struggle usually ends with immediate satisfaction sandwiched by guilt. Its pretty hard to enjoy a good batch of chicken fried rice when I feel guilty about wanting it, buying it, and eating it. Yet, I keep going back because it tastes so damn good.
With all of that on the table–a written confession that I indeed, give into immediate gratification in an effort to not miss out–what now? Well, I’m just going to go with the "shut-up, don’t think, follow the good example set by my mother" philosophy. My Mom, who is also a member of the bodybuilding community, has been eating clean for a month and really leaning out. She has always had amazing self control. I used to think that I lacked that gene. However, I’m beginning to realize my problem isn’t my lack of self control, but rather my inability to make a decision. Just choose a path. So, I’m going to say no. I’m going to say no to the roll of cookie dough currently residing in my fridge. No to the icecream and hotfudge nestled in their respective homes. No to the mountain dew (insert the mantra "don’t do the dew" here). I wake up tomorrow, with the simple word no on my lips.
If I’m really being good - I’d dedicate to blog every day about what I ate - but, 1) am I ready to make that commitment and 2) would people really read?
For now … I’ll promise to say no. Feel free to check up on me and see how its going. 
July 2, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I think you are amazing and that you can do anything you decide you really want to do!