ccity82’s BodyBlog

What I hate is that everytime I see progress, the rush of excitment I get from seeing a number change on the scale, or my pants fitting better, is met with immediate dread and fear that it won’t last!  It can’t last.  Beause so far, it’s been too easy.  That’s not to say that I haven’t tried a million times when losing weight and being healthy has been too hard.  It’s just that this time, its been, relatively breezy.  Maybe because for the first time in my life, I have a pretty set routine, which is a lot easier to follow then when you’re a full-time student.

 On July fourth, even though I had been a member of this site for longer than that, I actually decided to start eating cleanER … (not squeky clean), and start lifting weights regularly with a routine (not just doing whatever the hell I felt like), and … well, that’s it really.  Since the fourth, I’ve lost about 7-8lbs.  Which is unreal to me.  All of a sudden I’m nervous that I need to be more strict with myself, that now that there’s been progress, everything I’ve been doing so far will go away.  I’m terrified that in doing the same thing, I’ll gain more weight back.  That just doesnt’ make sense.

I also rationalize my weight loss.  I’ll tell myself that 2lbs was probably water weight.  So really, I’ve only lost like 6lbs. 

Maybe I’ll feel more comfortable this time next week if I continue to see progress … I wish I had more faith in the system, right now, it just feels like beginners luck.

Help! I’m having trouble trying to figure out the most efficient cardio treadmill exercise to do and the frequency I should be doing it!  Currently I’m rotating weight lifting and cardio days every other day.  For Cardio I’ve been doing 20 minute interval runs.  I either do a 6mph warm up, followed by increasing the speed every minute up to 9mph or 9.5 and then cutting back down to 6.0 and starting over again.  I’ve also done an interval run where I start at 3.5, jump to 9.5, then fall down to 6.0-6.5, then start again at 3.5.  Any suggestions for a good run?  Or other alternatives for interval cardio.

 Also, is it better to seperate my cardio into a 15min morning and a 15 min evening?  Should I be doing cardio on my weight days too, if I’m trying to the healthiest/but fastest weight-loss muscle building?

Any advice would be really appreciated … or just examples of what you do!

So, I’ve been trying to do clean eating for 3 days.  Today is the third.  Each day I have a little of something that I would not count as clean eating.  The first day I snuck four, only four, french fries.  The 2nd day I used light mayo on some stuff.  Today, well … today was just bad (not horrible, because it could have ended with chicken fried rice and a chocolate milkshake).  Here’s EXACTLY what I had:

Breakfast: Protein Shake with 1 scoop chocolate whey powder, 1 cup vanilla soy milk, 1tbl instant coffee, 3 splenda.

Snack: 1 piece whole wheat bread, 2tsp light may, 4oz turkey breast, one tall skim latte with 1 splenda.

Lunch: 3 asian turkey meatballs (baked, ginger/garlic/onion powder, soysauce, turkey breast), and steamed broccolli (of the frozen variety).

Snack: chicken breast - broiled - marinated for 10 minutes in soy/red pepper/ginger,garlic,onion powder, and a serving of dry roasted unsalted cashews.  I had the whole chicken breast and kept snacking on the serving of cashews from 2pm - 5pm.  Really difficult because I’m studying for the bar exam all during this time.

 Dinner: Salad … lots of good veggies on it.  Bad stuff –> scoop of bacon, ranch, sunflower seeds.  Small scoop of pasta salad.  One bite of friends potato.  One bite of friends chocolate mousse.  5 mint M&M’s.  Diet Coke.

 Now its bed time and I’m starving and I feel guilty about what I ate.  How do I strike a balance???  When should I give myself a break and when should I feel bad about stuff?  I feel like I could write a list of what someone else should eat and somehow, I can’t seem to do it!!!  On top of it all, I’m completely stressed out about taking the bar exam, and I’m really trying to lose this unwanted fat, and so I’m coupling clean eating with a lower carb mentality for at least the last two meals of my day.  I dont’ mind wheat bread and oatmeal in the morning, but other than that, I try (for these 3 days) to get carbs from veggies … HELP!

 I think I’d feel better if I could vent some frustration from running, but when I was training for a 1/2 marathon I hurt/inflammed my IT Band and it just hasn’t gotten better.  I’ve started lifting weights again, but I’ve been too sore for the last couple of days to go back–I’ll be ready tomorrow though.

 I’m open to any thoughts or advice!!!!

Can it really be as easy as following the good example of others?  Can it really be as easy as just saying no for once? 

There are some things that I have never struggled to say no to.  I simply just never considered these things even a possibility–saying no to these things are a breeze.  Then, there’s everything else. 

I’m a woman that likes to keep all doors open.  One could even label me as an individual that has commitment issues.  I fear giving things up.  I hate when my friends do things without me.  I want to always be "in" the inside joke. 

With food, this manifests itself in my inability to say no to food items I have come to characterize as "me" foods. I have been in a constant struggle with my instant-gratification self, and my long-term goals self for years.  This struggle usually ends with immediate satisfaction sandwiched by guilt.  Its pretty hard to enjoy a good batch of chicken fried rice when I feel guilty about wanting it, buying it, and eating it.  Yet, I keep going back because it tastes so damn good.

With all of that on the table–a written confession that I indeed, give into immediate gratification in an effort to not miss out–what now?  Well, I’m just going to go with the "shut-up, don’t think, follow the good example set by my mother" philosophy.  My Mom, who is also a member of the bodybuilding community, has been eating clean for a month and really leaning out.  She has always had amazing self control.  I used to think that I lacked that gene.  However, I’m beginning to realize my problem isn’t my lack of self control, but rather my inability to make a decision.  Just choose a path.  So, I’m going to say no.  I’m going to say no to the roll of cookie dough currently residing in my fridge.  No to the icecream and hotfudge nestled in their respective homes.  No to the mountain dew (insert the mantra "don’t do the dew" here).  I wake up tomorrow, with the simple word no on my lips. 

 If I’m really being good - I’d dedicate to blog every day about what I ate - but, 1) am I ready to make that commitment and 2) would people really read?

 For now … I’ll promise to say no.  Feel free to check up on me and see how its going.