Lying to protect my ego and their hopes!
I have done this so many times, that I can’t this time put myself thru it again or my loved ones! Every time someone tell me I lost weight, I am quick to say: No, actually I have gained. And give them an amount….my mother in law thinks I am 300 lbs, my mom thinks I am 335, I have told other cousins I am about 335 and up. I even told my wife I am at 286.
The truth…I am at 271-273, depending on the day. Why do I lie? Because after 6 years, I know better. Every time I go thru the process, my loves ones get excited for me, encourage me, try to push me, you name it, they do it…only for me to let them down again and worse, gain back the weight I lost and more.
I feel this time, if I were to give up again or gain the weight back, what they don’t know, can’t hurt. And also, guess I don’t want to look like a failure again. I already feel like a failure…guess don’t want to make it worse.
I know it is bad to lie, but for me I guess I justify it. Yes they think I lost weight, but you can easily tell someone is not true:
-> It is because you have not see me in a while.
-> I shaved
-> huho, those pants are just so big they make me look slim.
-> yes, I am like 300 something…have not weight myself in a while.
I can’t bare the idea of letting them or myself down again…I have done it too many times before!
June 3, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Wow - that is a heck of a lot of pressure to shoulder! Just my opinion - but this is your fight not theirs. It is your goal to live and your pain or success to own. Again - I could be way off base, but if you are not comfortable - why say anything. Neither confirm nor deny - just say "Thank you, I may have" and go one. It sounds like you feel you are already letting them down by lying and that can be a chain of guilt that drags down your success. Sorry for the pop psychology but your family and friends can be a big asset and you may be shutting them out AND hurting yourself in the process. Regardless - best of luck in your fight! Keep up the focus on your goals and not what others think (I guess that includes me) and I am sure you will be successful.
June 8, 2009 at 9:03 am
i agree with supervic, but would also add that i do the same, i.e., deflect any compliments in the belief that i don’t deserve them. however, that is a complete lack of socail grace on my part. i’ve learned how to take a compliment over time. you can too. rasta bruh.