cawiau’s BodyBlog

My wife had surgery and I have been playing Mr. Nurse since she has been back home! Since now she is feeling better to be able to stay home along for a couple of hours, I am going to hit the gym again today!

The gym close on the 25th, so have 6 days to kick ass before a forced day off! Thank another week till new years! Currently back to 292.4 lbs, gained three lbs from playing Mr. Nurse!

Goal is to lose about 6-7 lbs till new year..so if the 3 lbs gained is mostly water weight from bad diet, I should be able to lose it in no time! Now add to that another 6-7 lbs, I should be able to be under 280 lbs before I know it!

Basically, I want to be at 279 lbs at least by New Years!
Let’s go kick ass!

I love my wife! I love her dearly and I don’t think I could live without her! Yet I have to admit, she can  either help me succeed or contribute to my downfall!

I have to give her brownie points though! She has made the effort of coming to the gym with me and working out! She is a good workout partner, does not complain, does everything I tell her to do! And for that I am gratefull!

But for everyone that has ever lift or knows bodybuilding, you know that lifting and cardio is only a small part of it! The diet is the biggest issue in our house…She has no problem with me eating my current meals, but she wants to eat her own thing! But than complains on how she is not losing weight and actually gaining!

I already started a post on how I feel guilty at times for losing weight and sometimes lie to her about my actual weight! It likes I don’t want to hurt her by showing my success in her face where she is failling! I try to support her as much as I can but I can only do so much!

Being around my wife has been like a test 24/7…and while it has made me stronger it also could have and still could contribute to my downfall! And it comes down to diet!

–> The other day she baked a pie! In the middle of the night I got up and threw it out!  She was pissed but got over it!
–> Another day I was eating a mixed salad with chicken breast, she cooked spaghetti and meatballs! UUgggghh!!!
–> She loves to bake: cookies, pies, cake, etc. You name it, she can bake it. Hard to live around that!

I am trying hard to keep at this, but my wife cooking is making it harder! But yet, it makes me stronger…easier to resit the temptations when you go out since you have been resisting them all the time at home! Yet I want to help her so bad but she refuses to see that her diet would need to change…but tired of talking! Just hope she will realise it before it is too late!

But anyway I realise :  Your biggest supporter can without knowing it be the one that is dragging you down! Just got to keep at it!

Is it normal to feel guilty for losing weight?

The current situation is that while I am losing weight, the wife is actually gaining! I know that she is happy for me but that does not keep me from feeling guilty that I am seeing progress while she is not!

And sometimes it feels like she resent/envy me for my progress! This morning I got on the scale and went up 3 lbs and was actually happy about it! I just did not feel like telling her I lost weight again while she was sitting outside all side about gaining weight!

I need to learn how to deal with this because I will end up sabotaging my own progress!

I survived a whole weekend with the family and managed to stay out of the 300’s!!! I am so proud of myself! Now need to survive the remaining of the year and hit that cardio hard!