How do I take it one day at a time? Is it this rage?
Seriously, I need to know how to do that! How to forget about the future or past and just concentrate on that day, that moment?
My motivation and will to keep on going is low while my frustration and doubt is rising at an alarming rate. I go to the gym and when I step inside that place I gave it my all…hammering those weights, pushing myself…yet, the results are null besides aches and pain.
I eat so clean now that I do not recognize myself… Yes, it is not a bodybuilder diet yet but it is a 180 degrees from what I used to eat before. I do not pig out, I avoid alchohol and fast food joints, I eat at least 1 hour before bed…yet my weight actually went up instead of down!
I have lost about 31 lbs so far, but now it seems I have come to a stop…or plateau as some calls it. I really need to brake free because I feel that I am on the verge or going back to my old ways! I am holding on, trying to motivate myself to do the extra, keep moving forward, yet when I look in the mirror it all goes away, the scale just crashes all my dreams and hope!
There is this rage in me..rage that change is not coming, rage that I am going to fail at this once more, rage that all the odds are against me and it is this rage that is keeping me from going back to my old ways! It is this rage that makes me go to the gym, lift those weights and do the cardio! I need to keep this rage alive because it is all I got now, and it is all that is keeping me going. Helping me take it one day at a time.
- I have this rage because I let it get so out of hand.
- I have this rage because I feel my life is no longer mine.
- I have this rage because it seems no matter what I do, I am always back at the same place.
- I have this rage because I want this and it is not easy on me.
- I have this rage that is keeping me from eating like a pig and training like a maniac!
Oh sweet rage…driving me to succeed because I refuse to be a failure once again. Sweet rage, making me feel that I can take on the world because I refuse to be the fat man in the room for much longer! Oh sweet rage, you gave me pride, energy and that crazy look….as long as I have you, this war will not be over!
