I guess I’m a bodybuilder.
This was a good week for me. I hit a bunch of PRs in the gym and reached 173 on my quest to 180 - more than I’ve ever weighed before. Period. (You can follow along here: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=115992221)
I also got some really good comments this week. I’ve been getting them from all quarters, so I’m going to do my best to not talk about them so much, but, hey, they keep me going, so I have to share! It all started with the roommates joking at the gym that I had burritos in my arms, and now they’re kind of calling me "Burrito Man." Odd. Then, last night, when we were throwing a party at my place, I got some random ones. One guy who I haven’t seen for a while came up and said, "I was just commenting that the last time I saw you I don’t think you were this jacked. Good job, my man!" Another time, after giving a girl a goodbye hug, she turns to her boyfriend and goes, "Oh, I like hugging him! His back is ripped." Her boyfriend just replied, "Like cement!"
The real funny part about it, though, is I was just telling one of my roommates that I was embarrassed by all the comments, although I did like them. (His comment: "Yeah. Everyone in the house has a crush on your body.") I don’t know why. Part of it, for sure, is that I’m just not used to it. When I graduated high school, I weighed 135 soaking wet. Now it’s seven years later and I’m almost 40 pounds heavier… and trying to get to 50. Somewhere in there, I probably still think like the college freshman. And then I spend all this time on this site and know that I don’t weigh that much, but compared to the average guy - who’s not hanging out on this site - I’ve got a leg up. So another part of it is focusing so much on where I want to be as opposed to how far I’ve come. Finally, my roommate had an insight: he thinks I just don’t like attention. Which is true! That’s just my personality.
All this to say… I think I’ve crossed some kind of line. I wouldn’t say I’m a bodybuilder, because I’m not doing it for the attention - and definitely not for competition. I started doing it for lacrosse, and then kept it up for the mental health benefits and the discipline I was learning. And that’s why I’m going to keep going. There has to be something to work for. But I think it’s time for me to step up and accept it. I guess I’m a bodybuilder.
Funny enough, T-Nation had a related article the other day. Just thought I’d share: http://www.tmuscle.com/readArticle.do?id=3085840
Any advice on navigating this mental mix-up?
