Just Keepin It Real

Well, well, well… here I am. Im 21 years old and a full time college student. Im riding out the last few months on my full ride scholarship for playing D1 volleyball and its time to set a new goal to accomplish. I want to compete in a figure competition… ASAP. I have one more year in school until I get my degree… then off to either: 1) try to play pro vb overseas, or 2) apply to grad school. With my GPA, it will be a miracle to get in. I never really cared about my grades until NOW… nice, huh?

God. Im in the biggest rut though. Really, I just got off the phone with my roommate and I realized that I have no motivation to do anything! School work, working out, eating, hanging out with friends, putting any effort into my relationship with my bf, talking to family, ANYTHING. I just want to sleep. I have these big goals that I want to reach… but no gas to get me there.

What is up with me??

I have so much going for me… my health, free education, free access to a sweet new recreation center with all the weights and equipment I would ever need, a roof over my head, friends, family, a great boyfriend (who loves to workout as well)… I dont know why I have no drive to take advantage of all of these blessings in front of me.

I find myself moping around lately, just doing enough to get by or putting my responsibilities on the back-burner, telling myself Ill just take care of it tomorrow. I comfort myself with shitty food that is going straight to my gut. I feel compelled to just throw every positive thing in my life away and just sleep… forever.

I KNOW working out makes me feel better and practically erases all of these depressing thoughts from my head… now why cant I "Just Do It"??

Hopefully, my next entry will be me laughing at the stupidity and pathetic-ness of this blog. Ill be writing how Ive reduced my 24%BF to 20%, or how my sprints are getting faster and more explosive.

Idk though… peace, Im out.