My Thanksgiving
The turkey came out perfect. Not bad since it’s only the second time I’ve ever made a turkey. Thanksgiving lunch was great according to my son.
I ended a relationship today that I should have ended years ago. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can others believe in you. We all know that actions speak louder than words. He’s been screaming at me and I just wasn’t listening. Too wrapped up in what I was hoping for instead of really seeing what was in front of me.
I’ve grown a lot since we first started seeing each other over 8 years ago. I’m not the same negative, self-loathing person I was then. I’ve learned that the changes I want have to come from within me. He’s heading down a path that I can no longer follow. I can’t ask him to change, that is a choice he has to make on his own.
Sadly I see my father in him. I grew up believing that I wasn’t enough but somehow the alcohol was. I can’t save him. I can’t make him see me. I can’t even make him feel my heart breaking.
So today I move on. Today I save myself.
The turkey came out perfect. I just wish I could enjoy it.
Neko Case "Furnace Room Lullaby" from The Gift
November 28, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Happy Thanksgiving.. Glad the turkey cameout perfect. Hope your smiling and enjoying the time with your son.Sorry to hear about your breakup and good of you to finally realize what is good for you. Which sometimes is hard to do. hugs to you.
susan
November 30, 2008 at 11:53 am
Awww girl I’ve been down that road before too. And that man…is still sadly drinking and not seeing what he has done to his life or the lives of the women who have tried to love him. Ita a crazy world when they are that lost in the alcohol. I’m so proud of you!! And wish I could give you a hug!!
WTG on the turkey!! Mine turned out surprisingly well this year too dispite the fact that I am not a great cook (A.D.D. and cooking dont go together so well…I get side tracked WAY too easy…i just wish one of these days those hot firemen would show up at my house when the alarm is screaming about my cooking!)
November 30, 2008 at 12:15 pm
No matter where the road takes you, walk the path with your head held high. You are doing the right thing - for yourself, and for your son. Good luck.