The workings of a bipolar mind.

OMG! Last week my low back was bothering me. This week it’s killing me. Went to do a light back workout this morning and I couldn’t do low cable rows or the bent over rows. I can’t even get in and out of my car without it just tighting up on me. I’ve been using the icy/hot on it and that helps, but not much. I’m thinking that I need to lay off the weights this week and maybe just do cardio. I was going to go back in after my errands and just do cardio but now I’m not sure if I’ll be doing much but laying on the floor next to my pooch!

So I was checking out the ACSM site and I can buy everything seperately (books, test, workshop)…so that means I can still do the pt cert thing. Woohooo! Most other certs require you to buy everything up front. That’s like over $600 up front. I’m excited again!

I owe the irs this year so getting my pt cert will have to wait. Bummer!

I’ve been lurking in the forums today. You never know when you can actually find some good exercises or advice in there. So I found a link to The Fit Show. http://webcast.bodybuilding.com/fitshow/fitshow/fitshow.php?episode=40

I’m going to try this leg workout tonight. I’m so excited. I’ve decided that just going for strength is not really giving me the body I want. No, I can’t say that. My goals have just changed that’s all. I want to look more like a fitness model so I guess it’ll be moderate weights with higher reps? I want to be tight and lean. I’m still working on my one armed push-ups. I’ve added decline push-ups to my chest routine. Love them and find them extremely challenging.

Went to a friends house for her son’s 3rd birthday this weekend. They rented a jumpy house. You gotta love those. I got in (figured it’d be some great cardio too). It was hard, after about 5 minutes I was huffin and puffin like I just went on a full out run. The kids in there were all screaming "jump harder, I want to bounce higher!"…WTF???….why do I have to do the work. They should’ve been jumping harder to bounce ME around. Darn kids…it’s always about them isn’t it. What about me? I’m the PRINCESS!!

I’ve been trying to figure out which Personal Training certification I wanted and I’m pretty sure I want to go with ACSM although I heard it was kinda tough. Good, I love a challenge.

Ok, help me out here. I’ve gone up in weights with pretty much every muscle group except my shoulders. I have such a hard time keeping good form with 10lbs on side laterals. Why is that? I’m going to have to start training them twice a week like I’ve been doing with triceps. Those are finally getting stronger. They don’t quite pop like Pixi’s do but they’re getting there. Anyone have any suggestions on what can help? I currently do: front raises, side laterals, arnolds or shoulder press, upright rows or facepulls. Oh and my rears really need help to. I can do 25lb db for upright rows but I seem to only be skin and bone back there. Tonight I’m going for the 100’s. After all body parts are done during the week, I take one day and I do 100 reps for each body part.

Went to the old gym last night to train with my friend. I told him everything that was going on. It helps that he’s a Minister And a personal trainer. lol It kinda felt like confession time but we were talking about all the drama at that gym. It’s amazing to learn that all the employees are sleeping with each other. The managers are sleeping with employees And members….wft? Is that place just to hook up with people? I’m so glad I have a new gym. I don’t miss it at all. Saw hot guy and didn’t even acknowledge him and you know, I was ok with it. Anyways, my birthday is in 2 weeks (I’m going to be 36, can you believe it) so I’ve decided to set some goals. 1.) Get my head on right! 2.) Get my pt cert 3.) Learn to ride a motorcycle  These are things I’ve always wanted to do, so by my 37th birthday I hope to have at least 2 of the 3 done. Happy Thursday everyone!

I love my new gym. The people in there are my age and there to seriously train. Most everyone out on the floor had a bodybuilders physique. I ran into someone from the old gym and even he said it was so much better at Worlds. Here you don’t have to rack 200lbs just so you can use 35. The other gym seems so dirty and disorganized compared to my new one. It felt so good hitting legs last night. I didn’t have the distractions anymore and as I was getting ready to hit deads I felt like I was back in the game. I was going to go heavy again. Lately I’ve gotten a tad lazy and was doing high reps with light weights. I know it’s good to switch things up but my goal is strength not to lift some pussy-ass weight! I knew everyone at the old gym so people would always come over to say hello. My 1 minute breaks between sets turn into 5, you know how that goes. Although there is/are some nice eye candy at this place I am not going to let some silly boy distract me from my goals again.

Did chest and triceps last night. Didn’t do the 21s cause I did them saturday and I wanted to do different exercises. Loving the new gym. There’s only a handfull of people in there after work. The woman there….all cardio queens except for a couple so far. The weights are al MINE! Haha! I love it. There’s only a couple of trainers that work there but these trainers actually look like they work out. They have the bodys of bodybuilders. The other gym, I wasn’t sure if the one new trainer had the strength to lift a 5lbs dumbbell. Anyways, all that hard work and after the gym I met up with some friends at the Pub and had a couple of drinks and greasy fried foods. Oh well, today’s a new day. And not only that it’s leg day! Wooohooo!

Signed up with a new gym this weekend. It’s about 3 times bigger than the one I was currently going to. The equipment is old school, which I love. It’s all about good old fashion sweat and tears. I can’t go back to my gym anymore. Things are over for me and hot guy and I hate going to the gym knowing he’s there. I get agitated and always peeking out the corner of my eyes when he walks by. I want to get my focus back like it was before he showed up. Someone told me "never shit where you eat". They were so right. It’s a learning experience right? I have a hard time meeting guys. Well not meeting them but finding one that interests me. It’s like 1 in a 100 for me.

"Closed off from love I didn’t need the pain

 Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain

Time starts to pass before you know it you’re frozen"

For me it holds true. I can see with each time I get hurt I just withdrawl more and more from the dating thing. It doesn’t seem worth trying anymore when it’s all in vain. So do you just give up on love? I can feel my heart freezing.

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had to work the booth at a trade show. I work for an electrical supply company but as an admin. This is mainly a man’s industry. My knowledge of actual electrical stuff is zip, zilch, nadda! I think I was put there as more of an attraction than to really help out. I felt like a guppie in a shark tank. First of all they wanted me to talk to the guys walking by which is hard for me. I’m an introvert and talking to complete strangers is a little hard for me. But on top of that I’m expected to talk to them about what supplies we offer? I don’t have a clue and how am I supposed to weed out what companies will even use the supplies we carry. Huh, I now know what a bimbo feels like. So I get up the nerve to talk to a few guys and as soon as they start asking me anything other than where am I from, which office do I work out of, I have to hand them over to my sales guys. We were also doing a drawing so I mostly stuck with "would you like to enter our drawing to win a gps or ipod?". Pretty safe right? So this little japanese guys makes a few rounds around the booth. I can tell he wants to approach but is too shy. He just kinda keeps looking at me waiting for me to make the first move. So I ask "Would you like to enter our drawing?". Yes or no question right? He proceeds to go into this whole story about how he’s technology challenged. That his cellphone is all he can handle. He only knows how to answer and hang up, how his daughter ran up the phone bill to $400 blah, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t know what the hell to say. I’m looking around at the guys…help? They’re just snickering to themselves. Thanks guys! So this group of guys who has already made the rounds…a few times comes up to me and asks if he can take a picture of me with the guys. I look to my co-worker who was running the show, thinking please say no. He goes, sure why not. He thought they asked to take pictures of our booth..so as soon as he said yes this guys starts clicking away. Not even waiting for me to pose with the guys (I was still behind the table). I got a taste of what Britney Spears must feel like but it was only one camera. This guys was just click happy. I’m walking and it’s click, click, click. I’m pretty sure most of my pics will have this "wtf" look. He must’ve hit that button about 20 times. After it was over I meet up with my coworker who worked the show yesterday. She pretty much felt the same way. Meat dangling, surrounded by a bunch of starving wolves.

I’ve been trying to get her to hang out after she had her 4th child. Yes, 4th! Wouldn’t you need a drink? So we meet up at her house around 4. We kicked back and had a couple of applemartini’s. Yummy! Her husband shows up around 5 and she and I head over to the Roadhouse. I figured we’d maybe spend about an hour, 2 tops hanging out. We get there kick back I have another applemartini. Don’t want to mix drinks. The bartender buys me a drink..a raspberry comacazi, that was so darn good. The guy next to us buys us a round of raspberry comacazi’s. Ok, pretty ****ed up at this point. We had ordered appetizers and scarfed that down. That was the first time I had eaten all day. Didn’t get to eat at the show. So the guy next to us orders us ANOTHER round, this time it’s a washington apple. It tasted just like a watermelon now & later. Remember those as a kid? After that we ordered one more round of raspberrys and we had about 4 glasses of water to go with all this. We finally left sometime after 10. Went back to her house and we bullshitted some more, mainly so I could sober up because it’s about a 30 minute drive home. I leave around 11:30. I felt just fine. I hop on the freeway. Driving along I’m reading the signs looking for the freeway interchange, boy these exits don’t sound familiar. Half and hour later I’m in Merced…..where the **** is Merced? Shit I’m lost. How’d I get lost? By now my "gas low" light is on. I call my ex-boyfriend. No answer. Crap, I leave a message.."I"m lost and I’m running out of gas". So I get off the freeway and turn around. Shit! So I finally get back to the exit that I orginally got on the freeway from. Hit the gas station at midnight, asked the clerk how to get home. She gives me directions, so I hop back on the freeway, the way she told me to go….two exits later, the names look familiar. Thank goodness. I finally got home around 1. Um, yes it took me an hour and a half to get home from what should have been a 30 minute drive. Turns out I had just got on the freeway going South instead of North, not to mention I thought I was on a whole nother freeway. Um, maybe I was just having a bimbo day. Today I am seriously hurtin. My head hurts my stomache is upset. My co-worker is looking at me and laughing. My co-worker that I went out with last night called in sick. lol I should have to but I’ll stick it out. I think we’re going for margaritas at lunch. I have a poker party to go to Saturday night. I am going to need a serious detox. Have a great weekend everyone!