The workings of a bipolar mind.

Back and bis tonight, not exactly an earth~moving workout. Had too much anxiety. I’m in insecure mode right now. I guess that’s what 6 years in an f’d up relationship with someone who constantly lies and cheats can do. Didn’t talk to hot guy at the gym cause he had his office door closed when I got there, didn’t want to bug him. After all that is his work. So I did my workout and watched him walk out the door. He didn’t even say goodbye, although he did look tired. Guess he stayed out real late and got drunk. But how hard can it be to just walk over to someone and say hi/bye. So I debated when I got home, do I call him or wait til he calls me. F it! I’ll call him, so I did. He was in the middle of shopping so I didn’t want to keep him. He said he saw me working out and didn’t want to bug me. ???  Asked him which night he wanted to go out cause I needed to make plans with my girlfriend for whatever night I don’t go out with him. He said he’d call me in the morning and let me know which night. Ok, I really don’t like to be put on hold like that….is he waiting to see if he gets a better offer and puts me off for another night?  See, insecurities! Well, if he doesn’t call tomorrow, screw it. I’m not calling him. The balls in his court. Am I being paranoid? I probably am.