Strong and Independent.
I am strong and independent. I know this, I learned early that the only one I can count on is me. If it needs to be done, I have to do it or it won’t happen. I speak my mind, I hold nothing back. I call a spade a spade. I’m direct and well, I take no shit. I can be stubborn and hard headed. I’ve been noticing that guys don’t approach me. The ones that do, don’t stay. So I was talking to a couple of friends and I had to ask. What is it about me that scares men off? Apparently I’m intimadating. I guess men want a woman they can take care of. It makes them feel needed? I’ve never been able to count on anyone, people say they will be there forever. They’re not. Not the ones in my life anyways. I’m strong, I work out because I want to be strong on the outside too. We all do. My friends think I need to let my guard down. To let people see a softer side of me. Maybe bite my tongue once in a while and just smile. I’m a no nonsense kinda gal. I prefer jeans and a tshirt to pretty lil dresses. Don’t get me wrong I clean up nice but it’s not my thing. The less makeup I wear the better I feel. My girlfriend on the other hand is a girlie girl. Always dresses to impress, make up is flawless, hair is perfect. She’s soft spoken and can get shy. Guys love her. Yes folks, I’m the ugly friend. Are men really that afraid of a woman who can stand her ground. I’m really not all that different than any other woman. I want the same things. Someone to love me, take care of me and be there for me. Yes, I need a strong man who isn’t afraid to go toe to toe with me. I may be 5′3" but sometimes I think I’m 10 feet tall and bullet proof. Not afraid to break down this wall I’ve built. My exboyfriend used to tell me I was a bad ass. I don’t think so. The only difference between me and these other woman is that no one is ever close enough to see me cry. I hurt like everyone else. I’m not bitter and I’m not cold hearted. I have the biggest heart when it comes to the people I love. Once you get past this wall I’ve built around myself you’ll see that my heart bleeds just like everyone elses. One day I’ll find my prince charming (instead of all these damn peter pans). If I want something I go after it. If I’m not interested, you’ll know. I don’t like to play games. It’s just not me. Am I going to chase you? Maybe, but be warned I get bored easily. If you can’t sweep me off my feet, you won’t last a week with me. I know this has nothing to do with working out, just talking out loud.
November 29, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Please!….don’t suggest that all men want a girl they can take care of…because that is not true my reality based, speak your mind, iron-willed, jeans and t-shirt wearing friend: To me…all those qualities only contribute to your hotness! Hear me now and listen to me later….the dude, not some pansy, wants a homer-girl to take care of, that you were created for, is yes…out there.. most likely feeling the same way you are, right now. The meeting will happen when you least expect it, by the way….
November 29, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Hrm… I’m conflicted - on one hand, I agree with you, that most guys do tend to go for girly-girls (speaking as the ugly tomboy friend myself), but on the other hand, there are some guys that do love the strong and independent. THOSE are the golden ones, that are worth it, and I feel, will sweep you off your feet. Few and far between (again, in my opinion), but those are the ones that are worth it… that DESERVE you. And I very much agree with BA - they pop up when you least expect it.
November 29, 2007 at 9:43 pm
P.S. And ugly… you?? Hardly… not with that rockin’ bod and profile pic… and I mean that in the non-creepiest way possible!
November 29, 2007 at 10:01 pm
As for me, I dont like girly girl ( high maintinence ) women. There nothing but a pain in the ass! That whole " Your the Man so you should do it for me" shit just seems like laziness to me. I like a girl who can challenge me not only mentally, but physically too. I mean I dont mind getting a playful punch to body. And if I give her a playful punch back, I dont want to hear " I’m a girl, you should’nt do that".
P.S. You are SO FAR from ugly, your friends should be jealous of you!!!!
November 29, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Just have to re-iterate the odviouse and already menchioned, but you are FAR from ugly. Any guy that looses you either didn’t deserve you or wasn’t worth it, either way, their loss!!
Keep it up, you look GREAT!
November 30, 2007 at 10:32 am
I think there are men who indeed feel threatened by a strong independent girl, but there are also men who like them. I belong to the latter because to me it`s not a competition to see who is stronger, it`s more like a team in which the stronger the the players, the better. If you`re strong, you add to my strenght, you`re not making me weaker.
I personally look for girls who can take care of themselves, wh are interesting, strong, someone to look up to and someone who can teach me a couple of things. I don`t care if you`re better than me in somethng, I`d just learn from you then, my manhood would never be at stake.
I was raised by a strong mom and it was thank to her that I am what I am. I think it`s only wise to marry a strong woman who can also take care of our kids if something happen to me, isn`t it?
I think you should just be careful not to generalize or even make the mistake of thinking: Guys do A B and C, and Girls do X Y and Z. We guys also cry and feel sad, and have the right to be weak some times, nothing wrong with that as long as you don`t stay in that place foreever. Girls can also be strong, nothing wrong with that either.
I´ve lived through very difficult times and have been hurt many times, and like you, had raised a big wall. Then I realised that I was just isolating myself from the world, so in fact I wasn`t being hurt anymore, but I wasn`t receivig love, or friendship either so i understood the wall was not the way. So what`s the way? I think working to improve as a person and take risks again. And like you said about finding your prince, I`m also looking for my princess and I know for sure she`s not a weak person.
Hope this helps
November 30, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Heh… You’re waaay better off holding out for "Prince Charming", instead of settling for "Peter Pansy". And, people forget that in relationships you have to be friends, and do other things together. I for one prefer independent women, vs helpless "Barbie Dolls"!
November 30, 2007 at 2:06 pm
ALOT of men are intimidated by Strong Indepensent women!! Too Bad for them cause the strong independent women are usually the Most Real, honest, and loyal women of all!! You will find someone that appreciates that! Its all good!
November 30, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Personally, I prefer the company of equals. In friends, in lovers. Got 2 children already and I like the people I spend time with to be able to look after themselves. Sure…I’m still the ‘open doors for a lady’ kinda guy. I’ve even helped the odd senior across a busy street. Buo me sexy isn’t how much rouge your wearing or how much you spend on your tanning bed or stylist each month. Deeds not words is my life philosophy and nothings more appealing to me in another person than someone who knows who they are, what they want and isn’t afraid to be honest. Well, that and a well toned set of abs
LOL.
November 30, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Keep it real Laurie. Never change to satisfy someone else’s perception of what you should be…be true to yourself. and you my curvaceous friend are like surface of the sun HOT!!!!!!!!!!
November 30, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I think we often get what we expect out of others. Watch out for self fulfilling prophesies. Also remember for what it’s worth, the majority of guys like to be the chaser, not the chasee. It raises your value if they have to work for you. But do what YOU enjoy. There are some boys that like to be hunted. PS…You are beyond hot. Can’t imagine you needing to be jealous of anyone in this world.
November 30, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Haha! I’m not jealous of her I just wonder what makes someone approachable and the other not. I know we are both equally good looking and neither one of us have trouble collecting numbers when we’re out. And we have different taste in guys so there’s never a problem. I have noticed that there are some guys that liked to be chased.
December 5, 2007 at 11:15 am
I say be yourself. I scare the shit out of everyone. When I started weight training I became even more intimadating.
I also hate being alone because no one ever takes to find out who I am, but you know what. I am not going to pretend to be a idiot just so I dont hurt some guys frail ego.
Be strong bulldogz because you will never be happy with anyone less superior to yourself.
Dont sell yourself short even if you only 5′3" wink wink