bronxraider’s BodyBlog

Before I even start to write anything I would like to thank you all for you kind compliments, encouragement and support.  Truly thankyou for all of your feedback.

Now what is up the lifting/wieght belts.  I had to take some peronal trainer courses to work at NYSC.    There, I learned that wearing one made your abs weaker.  I did not have a problem with that, in fact I embraced the idea because I never ever used one and believed that it would limit the contraction of the abdominal muscles.

 Recently, I have been looking for ways to decrease the width of my waist and came across the idea of wearing one throughout my training sessions as per famous body builders like Coleman and Wolfe.  I tired it for a week even wore it during cardio and abs.  In the begining I felt that it was working but boy was I wrong, my abs became bloated and uncut!!!

 The pressure I felt wearing the belt led me to believe I was holding my abs in; but I guess I was not, and I had to pee like every 30 mins.  I took it off for the past two days and I feel my abs are sore!  They got weaker, but the two days without the belt allowed them to get tight again.  Thank heaven for muscle memory.

 I guess NYSC was right???  Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

 Also I have been walking on the treadmill with hill intervals instead of sprinting straight aways intervals…It seems to be toning by legs more instead of causing them to swell from running…what do you guys think walking vs running?  How do others get and stay cut without harsh types of cardio?

There are two large birthday cakes in the kitchen for my sister’s birthday.  My birthday already passed and I was happy to throw out my cakes;  but my sister won’t be too happy if I chucked hers out so…I am fighting the urge to eat some   I hate sugar in my face.  I want to make it until tomorrow night;  If they are still around well then I will have to give them away…  any takers  

Nite sweetie pies.

LOL. I know, some  title, I was just thinking today that I am so greatful to be able to not be ashamed of my body in complete bright light…

 Today, some dumb ass girl said to me "Oh you are soooo lucky, your stomache is flat and you’re just so SKINNY!…iF I were to eat as much as you do, I would be so fat!"

 Well, of course you know I was livid.  Full with rage I turned to her and smiled; I said. "You know what, you are right, I am so lucky.  I am lucky that I care enough about myself to keep my self from being average.  I am lucky that I can be proud of my body, and appreciate the effort I put into molding it and constantly changing.  I am lucky that I do not like to sit on my ass all day, and have the will to not eat bigmacs and whoppers."

"Listnen", I told her,  "I work very hard…every day, and eat more than you because I am never full.  Do you understand that egg whites are different from general tso chicken?  I mean wtf ?  I f you call having a little self control, and lots of dedication, luck, well than you know what?  I am lucky.

I am lucky because I have not said not once, since I have been training "Baby, can you turn the lights off"

Nah, HELL NO.  I am totally ok with doing it with the lights on" lolololol

 Thanks again guys for all the support and encouragement; wieght comming down again. YAAAAAY.

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO TODDMK, thanks so much for your advice and motivation!

Oh man, you guys would have loved to see her face!  A little over the top, maybe, but she stares at me while we change everyday, and always has some stupid shit to say, I just lost it.

Well, I am 140 lbs.  which is where I started.  Thing is, I don’t think I look the same.  Oct 2 I was 131, there are pics to show what I looked like.  Today, I am 140, and I also took pics to see…I think I am more muscular??? maybe wishful thinking???  Aghh, it is so frustrating to think that all that diet and cardio to loose 10 lbs, and continue i, npushing so hard to only to watch it come back on in a couple of days…

I took it easy today, some cardio.  Maybe I have to recharge??? Over did it?

Maybe i’ll be 150 tomorrow lol.    :)

Saw the W. Bush movie in nyc… pretty boring except for Condie Rice, hilarious. now i’m home seeking comfort with you guys!

Much love…

Sometimes, I daydream about what an ideal world to me would be…My paradise :

No crappy oil, i’ll make my own from the olive tree and squeeze it out of fresh salmon.  An Added sugar free world.  The only form of sugar available would be that from fruits, and SPLENDA packets!  Tell me, would you crave a snickers if there was never such a thing?  Nope, you would probably be totally happy with a cocoa bean.

No cars, we would walk every where.  No work! No boring get fat days locked in offices bored out of our minds mindlessly chatting about meaningless crap and munching on empty calories.  No watches or alarms; we would sleep until we were adequately rested.  I would also love it if we were to live as hunter gatherers, having to move our asses for food.  I would get up and chase chickens or sharpen some spears and go hunting, walk to the river for water, dig to plant some vegtables.  Someone tell me how the hell to grow flax seeds!!!!

And of course, what girl does not dream of horses….freely riding wild stallions…that would be a great lower body workout.

LIfting boulders and rocks, and dead animal carcasses, being close with family and tribe members, wearing fur, and playing with sharp spears and weapons…dancing around fires twisting and turning obliques and crunching abs…

I wanna be an AMAZON dammitt!

The only things I would have to have are: the color black, ray ban aviators, black asics 2130 sneakers, a blender, Isopure whey protien…maybe the internet…

so spoiled

lol, hey it’s my paradise!

I gained wieght. BACK..I did.  There is no convincing myself it is water, it is muscle gain, it’s the clothes, no really, they are heavier…blah blah blah.  It’s friggen fat. fatfatffatfftaftaftatftatfatatftatftaftftaft
at.   ugh.  Can you guys sense I am  pissed???

Ok. not pissed, frustrated.  For all the dieting and cardio how I ask, How?

You know what?  No biggie, I will just keep on going. Keep pushing, maybe instead of waking up one day 5lbs  heavier, I’ll wake up 6lbs lighter???  Yeah right!

Whew.  Thanks for listening and allowing me the opportunity to vent…

ON a lighter note.  The comments and compliments I have been getting from all of you keep me going.  They keep me motivated and inspired.  I cannot convey to you all how much I value the time and effort you spend to reach out to me with a couple of encouraging words or a few clicks of buttons that add me to your "friends" list. 

MUAH and thanks to all of you

So, I know what’s wrong.  I have a cold.  Bad, I mean I woke up with boogers all over my face!  Hard to breathe.  Probably should have stayed home, but I promised to kick my ass today so I did.  I had no where to go; just took my sweet time in the gym to tried to sweat this out.  I feel better for now, cardio probably cleared out my sinus plumbing.  I did 1hr hiit on treadmill, then walked the other 30  mins.  Hit wieghts haaard, full body workout.  I almost cried…and as promised, I practically crawled out of there. 

The day before yesterday, I was happy wieghing 131.  Two days later (today) I am 136 ??????

I’m trying not to freak, one cannot possibly gain 5 lbs of fat in two days…hoping it’s just water…and boogers! lol.

Thanks for being here, appreciate all the comments. You guys keep me going. LOVE U!

Today, I got up SEVERLY starving…after I ate, I dragged….yes dragged my ass to the gym.  I tried my best.  I have  not felt so drained in a very long time.  Usually I need no motivation to grind out cardio and sets…none.  Today, i fought with my self….one more minuite…one more song, one more mile….one more rep….one more excersise….I could not.  I felt like I was just forcing myself through the motion; I did not feel it.  I had to leave. I felt, like a failure.  I told myself that one day of light training is better than nothing…and it is.

 My body just said f$%k you bronx raider, i am done.

Well fine ms. body, you better be ready tomorrow I’m gonna rip you up.  I am going to walk in that gym and CRAWL OUT on my hands and knees.

 Went to softball tournament after in memory of an officer who died, god bless him.  Then my mother asked me to train her…lol.  She is 50 years old and very slim. NO MUSCLE.  So while I gave her 5lb dumbells, I had 15lbs, my viens popped out…and she was like "gross, I don’t want to be like you"…………………….

I was like "So put the wieghts down, and go to the mat and do yoga."

Shit, I’d rather be a shaply vieny woman than a weak pile of bones…(in my head i said that)

I am starting to really hate my gym, not because of the facility…because of the people.  I cannot explain why but certain people erk me to the point that I imagine punching them in the face.  So irratating; does anyone feel the same sometimes?  Am I crazy, is it carb depleting frustration that i’m taking out on random people?   No.  It can’t be, because it is always the same people that get me so angry.  It gets to the point that I feel myself give them dirty looks and want to leave…I wish they would leave. lol.  

I’m going to work on calming myself down.  Why should I care about them?  hmmmmm

 Anyway, I am doing good, getting that body back.  Thank you to everyone here for all of the support.  Some of you have made me so happy and excited.  Coming on here and interacting with you all has been the best thing for my soul; I feel happy when I’m reading posts, replying and admiring bodies.  At one with like minds, it is so empowering.  I even got to talk a little with my IDOL :)

Love you guys.

Hey, just because you train hard does not mean you need to find yourself a cave close to your gym somewhere and fill it up with nuts and tuna and hibernate therein…

Many fit people find themselves trapped in isolation for fear that others will deter them from their lifestyle, including myself.  I have come to understand that is it up to you to maintain your determination to achieve your goals and realize that real friends will understand how important that is to you.  Isolation is not good for the human soul.

Yesterday, I visited my mother who was always grossed out by my vieny arms…she still is.  After not seeing her for a year because I could not stand her comments anymore…I noticed she was different…She was interested in my training!  She wants me to train her too!  I was further shocked to realize that while we were eating sushi at a restaurant she did not make not even one comment about me refusing the fried rice!  I’m super happy that she wants to bond to the point that she is willing to understand what is important to me such as working out and eating clean.

Today, I visited my friend D. After the gym of course.  I took spinach and egg-whites over so that I would not mess up my meals.  We watched a movie, laughed, caught up.  She even gave me awsome stuff.  I got the perfect push-up thingys and a polar heart rate monitor.  How friggin sweet huh?

What am I trying to say?  Even though maintaing a hot body can be hard work and requires many sacrifices….those who care for you truly will make the effort to support you.  NO NEED TO LOCK YOURSELVES AWAY IN A DUNGEON!!!!

while working yesterday, I encountered a pretty gross situation.  A man who lived in a "halfway house", for AIDS patients with drug addictions was found dead in his room.  A half way house is a very ugly, dirty, roach infested building that is made up of many rooms.  Each patient/occupant has his own room, the bathroom and kitchen are shared on each floor, and there are counselors who work in the building office on the first floor.  Apparently, this guy who died, "kieth" had not been seen in about three days.  Nobody reported him missing…but when the stench of a rotting body drove everyone in the building to nausea, they decided to check on poor Kieth.  Yup he was dead, flies maggotts and all. 

I WAS GAGGING…I ALMOST THREW UP PRECIOUS CHICKEN TITTIES PROTIEN

I kept it down.  I really acted like a punk though!!!

I was amazed to find that the other crack head inhabitants of the building did not seem to be shaken by this event…they kept peering out of thier rooms to see if the coast was clear to go and ransack his room.  They wanted his stuff!!! They were hovering like vultures…little, bony, starved, scavenging and PLUCKED  vultures. They reminded me of zombies with their shrunken skulls and sunken eyes.

Anyway, shortly after the discovery, the residents got an old "Timberland" shoe box and wrapped it shut with tape.  They then put a slit on the top…and wrote very clearly…"Collection for Kieth for a REEF"…

OH MY GOD…a "reef"?  Dont you mean wreath? LOLOLOLOL

Gotta love the Bronx man.