Memoirs of a reluctant Bulker

So this past week I received my “first ever” shipment of online ordered supplements: Protein bars. For the past 25 years I have been buying supplements from one place exclusively, for the most part: GNC. Typically the bars I have purchased from them have been anywhere from bad to decent to just alright. 

Now, let’s face it, protein bars over that time have made significant improvements. Anyone with me on this, when I say all protein bars pretty much used to taste like a card board stick? C’mon didn’t they? Is there anyone out there who used to actually enjoy these bars of necessity that had to be choked down just because they were high in protein? 

NOTE: If you answered yes to the last question, hhmm, there may be no help for you. Sorry, I know this might be a tough moment for you and that this knowledge changes everything, but hang in there, science is advancing each day!! 

Back to the point right? Okay, well I moved to Sierra Vista, AZ about 8 months ago and have really been struggling to find a place to buy my four to five boxes of protein bars I consume each month: bouncing back and fourth from one GNC in Tucson to another. And for the most part, finding myself relatively disappointed with not only the selection, but the freshness date: Most being right up against the eat by date. 

So, two weeks ago, I made the decision to get on Bodybuilding.com with intent to just go ahead, pull the plug and see what this ordering supplements online is all about. 

NOTE: Up until moving to Sierra Vista, I lived in Phoenix (where it can get up to 137,000 degrees on any given summer day, and therefore was always a little leery of ordering bars that may sit outside my door for any amount of time. Bars + 137,000 degree temps = Liquid protein goo: Not good! So, nonetheless, I never attempted the online ordering process. Since Sierra Vista’s climate is much milder than Phoenix (think San Diego, honestly!), if my bars had to sit outside after delivery, they’d probably be okay. 

At any rate, I ended up ordering three boxes of Detour, Deluxe Whey protein energy bars and one box of MET-Rx Colossal Brownie bars and folks, let me tell you………Ready? 

Honestly, it has been one of the BEST experiences of my consumer based life!! Seriously…I don’t usually tout too many things, but this experience has been so enjoyable from start to finish that I just had to write about it. The things I experienced: 

-Easy online ordering experience 

-Had an issue with the billing address (my bad) and Bodybuilding.com emailed me immediately to remediate the situation (quickly and painlessly!) 

-Shipment arrived within three days 

-Order was correct 

-I received a thank you for my business email, calling me an “awesome customer” 

-The bars are (ready for this) fresh off the production line 

-No, listen to me…..these bars are literally right out of the plant…the Smores flavored bars are so fresh, the marshmallow-ee stuff in the bar literally strings out of the bar with each bite (kind of like a melted marshmallow does when you are camping out and roasting marshmallows!) 

-Folks, these are the best bars I have ever consumed….Seriously!! Who knew freshness was the key to an excellent tasting protein bar? 

-Billing was accurate and expedient 

-Bodybuilding.com actually sent me two bonus items, just for ordering: A muscle measuring tape (which is actually very cool and much easier than a seam tape), and a pack of Monster Milk protein 50 mix 

Parting shot: Bodybuilding.com will be the only place I shop for supplements from here on out. Not only did I find the products, flavors and availability I desired, but the customer service experience, was well, quite frankly, AWESOME! So rare, in these days of “zero customer service,” from most places of business. 

Parting shot #2: Look at the world through the eyes of a child today, and you’ll realize what you’ve been taking for granted! 

Good Morning Sierra Vista!! (Yes, that was a Good Morning Vietnam reference and I’m just not really sure why I chose that one…..Some things are probably best left unknown, yes?

I’m currently in the middle of a bulking phase that has taken me from 195 and 10% bodyfat up to 220 and 16% bodyfat: The ultimate goal by the end of November is to be no more than 20% bodyfat at 235 pounds. Folks, this has been no easy task! Sure, I’d love to say that the Twinkies, cookies, Roast beef and Swiss sandwhiches, Pizza and Waffles are not getting old, but I just can’t do it. And with that, the following are few things of note from my current bulking session:

-Yesterday was football Sunday and since I am bulking, here was a perfect chance to maybe pack on a few pounds: All in one day! I consumed the following: Pancakes, muffins, butter, syrup, Orange and Grape juice, Pretzels, Cheese dip, Potato and Tortilla chips, bean dip, Apples, Oranges, Grapes, Kiwi, cream cheese and marshmallow fruit dip, Four hamburgers, 10 chicken strips, french fries, tater tots, Buffalo wing sauce, pizza, M&M’s, Snicker’s bar, lots of coffee and lots of diet soda. Am I paying the price today you ask? Sweet Mercy and Heaven help us, I feel like a Water Bison fresh off a days worth of mowing down sixteen acres of prairie grass followed by ingesting 470 gallons of fresh spring water….And for those of you not savvy to what that might feel like: I’m VERY bloated!!

-I ended up gaining three pounds yesterday

-My pants feel like the ones I used to wear in Elementary school: Tight and uncomfortable…..Sadly, they probably look that way too.

 -At 223, I’m actually looking forward to this bulk ending, but rest assure my good citizens: I will continue to move the food in large single sitting portions, in order to reach my goal of 235.

In closing and coming soon to a theater near you: Fat guy in a little coat before pics and Very shredded guy in tiny Speedo after pics!

Parting shot - Don’t worry about trying to change yesterday in order to make tomorrow better: Focus on Today, change the things you can, and be able to answer yes to the question, "Did I make a positive difference today?"