Warped Fireside Chats

1. If two negatives make a positive, eating two dark chocolate Hershey bars while dieting is probably good technique, correct?
2. And furthermore, since two wrongs don’t make a right, should I go ahead and eat three dark chocolate Hershey bars? It’s okay, they’re buy two get one free, anyway!
3. Why is it that healthy foods are more expensive than crap foods? Example: (1) MetRX food bar - $2.25 versus Snickers bar - .50 cents (2) A Chicken breast sandwich from McDonalds - $ 4.00 versus a Double Cheese Burger - $. 99 cents. Help me out here people!
4. Who thought that eating something growing out of poop seemed like a good idea? Hint: Mushrooms.
5. Why are Rattlesnakes a protected animal? Look, they will kill you! Who thought it would be a good idea to keep people from killing animals that kill people? Is there something wrong with this or is it just me?
6. At what point did the bodybuilding industry decide competition winners were to be the ones with the most muscle, regardless of what kind of shape they were in? Why does this industry continue to award excessively out of shape individuals simply because they have access to better chemicals? What happened to the Frank Zane’s and the Lee Labrada’s of the world? What a travesty that Dexter Jackson has never won an Olympia….
7. Is it just me, or are there some people here on BodySpace that quite simply just should not be posing in only their underwear? In my limited opinion, if you have anything hanging over the edges of your underwear, you really shouldn’t be taking pictures of that, let alone posting them for all the world to see.
8. What’s up with Big Women who just happen to have serious spare tires wearing the little jeans with the one inch zippers? Does anyone really find this to be HAWT? Here’s a word for this eyesore…..Silly!
9. Speaking of silly: Men with the huge beer bellies! Seriously, do you really think you are a monster stud sporting a stomach the size of a small planet? Hint: No, you are not!
10.  Anyone ever see a German Shepherd chase a large jackrabbit around and around in a circle at full speed for a good solid minute? That right there is funny! No seriously, I think I may have pulled an oblique…….
11. Anyone else have a strange fascination for female pirates? Think Elizabeth Swann: Pirates of the Carribean. She’s HAWT, and I am fascinated!
12. Anyone else paying over $100.00 each time they fill up their gas tank? Anyone else feel like peeing on an oil company executive afterwards?
13. Anyone feel just a bit rattled that I wrote a pondering blog with an odd number of ponderings? HHHhmm, what could this mean?

So I was sitting here watching “Vision Quest” and quickly realized that it may very well be the best movie of all time. First and foremost, if you are reading this and you have not seen Vision Quest, you owe it to yourself to rent this movie, and soon. A wrestling movie which follows the journey of bodily transformation, covers one of the best messages any movie ever has, shows how love is a slowly developed process and introduces to its viewers the theory that dreams are meant to be lived, it will make you cry, laugh, get chills up and down your spine, stand up and cheer and walk away feeling like the world is yours to conquer!

Matthew Modine plays a high school wrestler who decides that he is ready to make a difference. Tired of living each day in the same fashion, going nowhere, spinning his wheels, assimilating in with any crowd he finds himself in, he sets a goal not many feel he can accomplish, but one that if completed, would not only grant him instant stud factor number 27 status, would also prove to many he encounters along the way that the impossible can be done. In the beginning of the movie his father, who was left by his wife during tough times, takes in a drifter to help pay for the rent. The drifter turns out to be Modine’s source of inspiration as he quickly finds himself falling in love with her. And in all honesty, I can’t blame him. The drifter just happens to be the very HAWT, Linda Fiorentino.

This movie has many of the best attributes a great movie should include, such as:

-An excellent scene were Modine finds himself in the laundry room with Linda’s laundry basket, which just happens to be filled with her clothes to include, you guessed it, her panties. And yes, he does happen to grab up a pair of her pink cotton ones in order to take in the fantastic smell, when all of sudden she quietly walks in and busts him. He casually laughs it off while she picks up the laundry basket and without words suggests he go ahead and place the panties back in the basket. I love that scene for many reasons!

-An overall theme that points out, if you set your mind to something, with a little bit of will power, you can accomplish anything. Yes, ANYTHING!

-A great soundtrack that includes hits from Journey, Madonna, Dio, and .38 Special.

-The movies plot surrounds Matthew Modine’s quest to drop weight to wrestle against the county wrestling stud. So naturally, throughout the movie and while he is dieting, everyone he encounters is continually trying to get him to eat and eat and eat. In addition, all of these individuals can’t seem to understand why he is trying to lose weight. You know we all have our own goals for our bodies, and how many times have each of you been told by someone else that you are goofy for whatever it is you’re trying to do. I have been trying to build muscle for the last almost 23 years of my life, and all along the way, people ranging from my parents to girlfriends have called me many things like silly, goofy and ridiculous. I love this movie because he endures the same throughout, but keeps his eyes set on the prize. I choose to do the same.

-Modine works out throughout this movie: Gotta love movies that pimp physical fitness, don’t care who you are.

-The scene with the peg board from gym class! Remember those things? The board where you have two pegs you utilize to climb your body up the wall by sticking them into the peg board holes…..Remember?

-Faced against the most impossible of odds, Modine, with his back up against the wall…..I’ll leave it at that. Hey, rent the movie and find out what happens!

Well, I guess that’s about it for tonight. Rent this movie, and get re-energized about your physical goals, but also watch, as you realize life really is about more than just spinning your wheels each day doing whatever it is you are currently doing. Go into work tomorrow with an impossible goal, begin to work towards completing that goal, then be amazed at how your “fight the impossible fight” attitude transforms all aspects of your life, as well as affecting many of those close to you in a positive way!  

So I was sitting here watching “Vision Quest” and quickly realized that it may very well be the best movie of all time. First and foremost, if you are reading this and you have not seen Vision Quest, you owe it to yourself to rent this movie, and soon. A wrestling movie which follows the journey of bodily transformation, covers one of the best messages any movie ever has, shows how love is a slowly developed process and introduces to its viewers the theory that dreams are meant to be lived, it will make you cry, laugh, get chills up and down your spine, stand up and cheer and walk away feeling like the world is yours to conquer!

Matthew Modine plays a high school wrestler who decides that he is ready to make a difference. Tired of living each day in the same fashion, going nowhere, spinning his wheels, assimilating in with any crowd he finds himself in, he sets a goal not many feel he can accomplish, but one that if completed, would not only grant him instant stud factor number 27 status, would also prove to many he encounters along the way that the impossible can be done. In the beginning of the movie his father, who was left by his wife during tough times, takes in a drifter to help pay for the rent. The drifter turns out to be Modine’s source of inspiration as he quickly finds himself falling in love with her. And in all honesty, I can’t blame him. The drifter just happens to be the very HAWT, Linda Fiorentino.

This movie has many of the best attributes a great movie should include, such as:

-An excellent scene were Modine finds himself in the laundry room with Linda’s laundry basket, which just happens to be filled with her clothes to include, you guessed it, her panties. And yes, he does happen to grab up a pair or her pink cotton ones in order to take in the fantastic smell, when all of sudden she quietly walks in and busts him. He casually laughs it off while she picks up the laundry basket and without words suggests he go ahead and place the panties back in the basket. I love that scene for many reasons!

-An overall theme that points out, if you set your mind to something, with a little bit of will power, you can accomplish anything. Yes, ANYTHING!

-A great soundtrack that includes hits from Journey, Madonna, Dio, and .38 Special.

-The movies plot surrounds Matthew Modine’s quest to drop weight to wrestle against the county wrestling stud. So naturally, throughout the movie and while he is dieting, everyone he encounters is continually trying to get him to eat and eat and eat. In addition, all of these individuals can’t seem to understand why he is trying to lose weight. You know we all have our own goals for our bodies, and how many times have each of you been told by someone else that you are goofy for whatever it is you’re trying to do. I have been trying to build muscle for the last almost 23 years of my life, and all along the way, people ranging from my parents to girlfriends have called me many things like silly, goofy and ridiculous. I love this movie because he endures the same throughout, but keeps his eyes set on the prize. I choose to do the same.

-Modine works out throughout this movie: Gotta love movies that pimp physical fitness, don’t care who you are.

-The scene with the peg board from gym class! Remember those things? The board where you have two pegs you utilize to climb your body up the wall by sticking them into the peg board holes…..Remember?

-Faced against the most impossible of odds, Modine, with his back up against the wall…..I’ll leave it at that. Hey, rent the movie and find out what happens!

Well, I guess that’s about it for tonight. Rent this movie, and get re-energized about your physical goals, but also watch, as you realize life really is about more than just spinning your wheels each day doing whatever it is you are currently doing. Go into work tomorrow with an impossible goal, begin to work towards completing that goal, then be amazed at how your “fight the impossible fight” attitude transforms all aspects of your life, as well as affecting many of those close to you in a positive way!  

It was a night not un-like many nights before it. The wind was restless, intermittent, choppy. The moon hung low on the horizon as I raced my Explorer through the low lying hills of the Southeast Arizona high plains desert. After a 90 degree day, the typical low 70 degree evening was welcome and begged for all four windows to be down. The resultant cooler wind flow was just enough to push a small amount of electric stimuli throughout my body. I had already consumed three tablespoons of BCAA’s, so the veinage (my word) was already ripping through my arms. I knew at that point, I may very well have been on my way to the best pump, EVER!   

Boston’s, “Find your way back,” eased its way onto the Sirius. “The twenty minute drive will be worth it tonight,” I said out loud, to no one in particular just before yelling at the top of my lungs, “YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” and throwing both my hands in the air for just a second.

Suddenly and fully at the mercy of instinct, I quickly grabbed the wheel and yanked hard to the left. An aversive move which just barely kept me from hitting the mule deer that jumped right out in front of me. Once the impact had been safely avoided and my adrenaline level had returned back down into the normal range I enthusiastically stated, “wildlife, that’s what I’m talking about!” You see, up until two months ago, living in the Suburban landscape of Phoenix, AZ, that is something which never happened. There might have been the occasional near-miss with an elderly chap on a moped, but never a deer.

Five minutes out from the gym, I began to focus on the evenings muscle groups: Biceps, Triceps and Forearms. Yes my friends, potentially my favorite complex, I love me some arm pumping. As a precaution, I will also go on to tell you that my workouts are not for the faint of heart: Typically geared more towards pumping them up as big as they’ll go, rather than utilizing mind crushing weight in order for muscle break down to occur, I not only force as much blood into them, I push my cardiovascular system to its fullest. Sinister, evil, nasty, brutal: All words that many onlookers have used to describe my fast paced, never let up pump-fest, I call a workout.

How is it done? How can one man push that much blood into one set of muscles? Read on…..

A few thoughts before starting:

• Always stay mentally focused on the muscles you are working
• A consistent, piston-like movement for all exercises enables monster blood levels to be attained
• Don’t stop, fully exhaust the muscle being worked during each set
• If it doesn’t hurt, it’s not done
• Low to No rest in-between sets
• Once warmed-up start with the heavy stuff, pump out as many as you can, strip some weight and keep on going
• Add up the weight you’ve moved after the workout by multiplying amount of weight moved by the number of repetitions

The exercises (All supersets; All descending sets to failure):

• Alternating dumbbell curls
• Overhead dumbbell triceps extensions
• Alternating Dumbbell wrist curls

• Hammer strength preacher curls
• Hammer strength triceps dips

• Standing barbell curls
• Skull Crushers
• Close grip bench press
• Standing behind the back barbell wrist curls

• Dumbbell hammer curls
• Alternating overhead dumbbell triceps extensions
• Alternating reverse grip wrist rolls

• Reverse grip barbell curls
• Pulley rope triceps push-downs

Total workout time: 27 minutes

Total weight moved: 31, 500 pounds

Arm size pre-workout and relaxed: 17.5

Arm size post-workout and jacked: 19.7

Net blood pushed into arms post workout: 275 gallons (may not be actual)

Casually meandering back through the hills on my way home, the temperatures were now down into the high 60’s. A light sense of euphoria crept its way into my mental state as my body, and more specifically my arms, seemingly had attained a status the big man upstairs originally designed for them. As my arms enjoyed the extreme tightness, I embraced the feeling as if it were the first time…..I allowed a slight, up-to-no-good smile, to work its way onto my hardened, stubble covered face.