Of guarana, cannabis, heavy weights, intensity and barfing: the good times
Of guarana, cannabis, heavy weights….
I was nineteen at the time and had been lifting for a total of two whole years. My body, once a 165 pound skin tight bag of bones, had miraculously been transformed into a 185 pound semi-muscular, very ripped, wash board ab, self-anointed, babe magnet.
NOTE: (for those of you who didn’t catch the self-anointed part…yeah, looking back, I was pretty much a goof more than anything). At any rate, I digress, so back to the story.
At the time, I had a strange fascination with supplements, and pretty much just spent my time, studying, reading Muscle and fitness, and experimenting with not only supplements from the health store, but recreational, mind-expanding pharmaceuticals I purchased from Rojalio down on the street corner as well.
NOTE: For those of you who are not familiar with said pharmaceuticals, that’s a good thing. Although there was that one time I got on the freight train with the donkey in my apartment: that was pretty cool….Again, for those of you unfamiliar……..Digression, sorry!
I supplemented with anything and everything that was new and unproven…crazy, goofy and all about quick muscle: that was me!
“Dude, you gotta take some guarana, smoke some pot and then go work out! You’re gonna move so much iron….it’s sick man!” My best friend and lifting partner Michael, informed me one summer afternoon.
We had just finished playing a round of Aerobie out at the park, which usually resulted in a great pump.
NOTE: For those of you unfamiliar with Aerobie, it is a long distance Frisbee that no-kidding, generally can fly the entire length of a football field with little to no effort from the thrower. We’d go out to the park, rip the shirts off, run all over the place, get a good pump, head to the pool in the same park and see how many girls we could try and pick up…..Yeah, things were much more simple back then. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy…..yes sir!!
For whatever the reason, we opted to ditch the pool idea on this particular day, throw back some guarana (and of course four times the suggested dosage…hello, if a dose is good, four times the dose has to be great, right?), toke up some Gandolf water bong hits and move some weight.
NOTE: I’ve said it before in my blogs, and it’s worth reiterating: I do not advocate all of the madness that I once spent my life chasing (like drug use), but I am a firm believer in remembering and learning from the past, not burying it.
We sat back in the parking lot of the Rec Center at Texas Tech, let the chemicals work their magic for a few minutes, and more so, try and regain a sense of consciousness. Folks, let me tell you something, my friend was right. Once that guarana kicked in, my heart and muscles (all of them…) went to pumping and all I wanted to do was move some iron.
“Give me some iron to move and get the $##% out of my way!!” I remember half yelling, half laughing at my workout partner.
NOTE: My language wasn’t the best back then either…..
We started the brutality by determining back, shoulders and biceps would be the targeted victims on this particular day so we proceeded to knock out the following workout:
NOTE: This is in no way an endorsement for this routine: But more so a warning against elevating the body’s intensity to this level.
Back – (don’t really remember the weights used, but the sets and reps were roughly these)
Deadlifts: 4X 10-30
Barbell rows: 4X 10-20
Wide grip pull downs: 4X 10- 20
Close grip low pulley rows: 4X 10- 20
Dumbell rows: 4X 10- 20
Rope crunches: 4X 10- 20
Shoulders –
Military press: 4X 10- 20
Dumbell front laterals: 4X- 20
Dumbell side laterals: 4X 10-20
Dumbell rear laterals: 4X 10- 20
Close grip upright rows: 4X 10- 20
Arnold presses: 4X 10- 20
Low cable side laterals: 4X 10- 20
Bent over cable rear laterals: 4X 10- 20
Biceps –
Barbell curls: 4X 10- 20
Seated dumbell curls: 4X- 20
Dumbell hammer curls: 4X 10-20
Preacher curls: 4X 10- 20
Low cable curls: 4X 10- 20
Low cable reverse curls: 4X 10- 20
Bent over one arm concentration curls: 4X 10- 20
Standing supinated single arm curls: 4 X 10- 20
Post workout cardio
45 minutes on the stairmill
30 minutes on the Life-rower
Actual workout specs:
- Total workout time – 3 hours 15 minutes
- Weight moved – Equivalent to a small battleship
- Calories burned - A boatload
- Sweat lost – National disaster flood levels
- Euphoric pump level – Through the roof
- Potential climaxes – Lost count during the back exercises
- Fellow gym patrons left irate – who cared
Subsequent days after, specs:
- Sick level - more so than a dog
- Fluids lost out of any and all orifices – Whatever the flow rate is for constantly
- F-bombs launched – Pissed off sailor / pirate level
- Time logged in fetal position wrapped up in blanket on dorm room bed – seemingly days and weeks: in actuality, about 72 hours
- Weight lost over three day bout – 10 pounds
- Times asked, “Dude, what happened to you?” once I rejoined the human race – Too many
Lessons learned:
- Guarana and pot combine to create a lethal dose of intensity
- I will never (NEVER) do that again
- How to lose ten pounds in three days
- There’s not much better than that first sign of feeling better after being deathly ill.
Parting shot: Choose to make a difference today, regardless of your circumstances: For in the end and with all things considered, it really is just a choice.
March 12, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Ouch. All of that sounds entirely too painful. Hilarious, though, but painful
March 12, 2008 at 11:04 pm
OMG!! I was cracking up reading this..I had a feeling u would go a little overboard but wow! The energy you guys ‘inherited" was bananas! You had to feel like a huge bag of sugar, honey, ice, tea! lol
March 13, 2008 at 6:53 am
What a great story! The things we do when we are young and "know it all".
March 14, 2008 at 8:03 am
That is one hell of a lesson learned!
I believe the flow rate of fluids lost is: sweat-output/# of orifices secreting by-products of stimulants and ganje! Something like that??
So, Dude…your looking pretty good now!
March 14, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Sorry, but all I heard was "how to lose 10 pounds in three days". IT’S ON!
March 16, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Duuuuuuuude I so gotta try this!!!! AWesome!!!
March 17, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Lol, those were the good ole days. Riding in the back of our friends pickup (before riding in the back became against the law) pointing our bare asses at the car behind us. Damn I miss those days.
March 21, 2008 at 6:38 pm
bull.dogz, pointing what at what???
I am CERTAIN that a few constituents were highly irate when they heard it was no longer legal for sweet young things to ride in the back of pickup trucks.
Upset driver of "the car behind us": THEY OUTLAWED WHAT???
Scott, I must have had poor quality pot. All it ever did for me was put me to sleep. I would have been the guy asleep by the dumbbell rack, guarana or no guarana.
Another GREAT blog!
June 12, 2008 at 4:04 am
who thinks "oh yeah weed, good idea for working out". when stoned the last thing I want to do is work out!! funny story though. tough break.
June 12, 2008 at 4:19 am
LMAO for a long time. You are too funny, and I am so glad you prefer not to bury the past. My man went to Tech in the 70’s, there was nothing BUT experimenting with the less than legal side of the "suppliments" back then but he said pot made him think he could have surgery while STILL awake. lol